


It Was Such a Bad Idea

by billyspilgrimage



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Academia, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Camping, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, I promise itll be worth it, Mutual Pining, My First Fanfic, Pining, Slow Burn, Smut in Chapter 18 but it's skippable, Swearing, Useless Lesbians, Volleyball, adora cant let herself be happy, bow and glimmer are peripheral, catra cant let down her walls for more than 2 seconds, grad school, late night labwork, scorpia and perfuma are way more prominent than I had planned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 63,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25141207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billyspilgrimage/pseuds/billyspilgrimage
Summary: Adora and Catra have both just started their PhD programs in different cities and they've parted ways for the first time in 4 years. They try, and fail, to recover from everything they've gone through without each other, and have to reckon with their fates intertwining once again.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 174
Kudos: 251





	1. Meet and Greet

## Adora: First Year of Her PhD

Adora walks into her new kitchen, unopened boxes stacked precariously along the wall with a few more on the pseudo-granite countertop. She approaches the counter dressed in a brown, loose, linen pair of pants and a cheap gray t-shirt with the text “Etheria’s Angels” and a volleyball arcing across the chest.

The 22-year-old woman glares at the packed boxes with a question on her mind. She decides to leave them for future Adora to unpack, she just arrived last night anyway so what’s the rush? She grabs one of the only things she has unpacked as she heads out the door: her gym bag. The stress and anxiety of moving here had nearly killed her and she needed to take a break and try to focus on something other than the night ahead of her. Today was her first real day in Bright Moon and she had spent most of the morning lying in bed while acquanting herself with the list of coffee shops and cafes within walking distance of her new apartment. She’d made the list weeks ago right after signing the lease, as well as choosing from the nearby gyms and locating the bookstores around her. Yeah, maybe it was a nervous habit, but at least it was productive.

It’s late summer now, early August. The students are beginning to trickle into Bright Moon again and turn a sleepy, New England coastal town into a bustling metropolis of young, ambitious minds trying to find their path in the world. Adora can’t really complain about it though, since she just got here too. That’d be like complaining about bad traffic while you’re driving in it. Right now, most of the new arrivals on campus are fresh graduate students, like Adora. Graduate orientation happens about a week before undergraduate orientation, so that all the new grad students can get accustomed to campus and the university before having to confront their own new students.

Adora steps into her new gym in Bright Moon, and she’s already paid for her membership and mail-ordered her access card before even arriving. She follows the signs pointing to the women’s locker room and as she steps inside and begins to change out of her lounge gear and into her workout clothes, her tunnel vision fades and she remembers her schedule for tonight.

While slipping on her running shorts and a tank top, she thinks about graduate orientation. Maybe she could say she slept through it? Like that’d be believable, let alone a good idea. Adora pulled her blonde hair back into a neat ponytail before trying and failing to push the thoughts out of her mind and into the hanging punching bag she had eyed on the way in. Boxing always helped when she was nervous. At least it made her stop thinking so much. Before she knows it, she’s drenched in sweat and resting her boxing gloves on her knees as she gasps for air. She checks the clock to see that she’d been here about an hour. Wow, it really got away from her today. She decides to grab her bag and head back to her apartment to shower before getting ready for tonight.

The nervous pit in Adora’s stomach was gone, but a new, frigid fear filled her now. What if her cohort doesn’t like her? What if she doesn’t mesh well with her advisor? What if what happened in...undergrad… -she shutters- happens again? After dwelling on these feelings the whole way home, she realizes that those aren’t the reasons she’s there for. She’s there to get a PhD, not make friends! 

Friends definitely wouldn’t hurt though...Adora could use some friends right now.

At 8:00pm sharp, Adora arrives at a place downtown called “The Half-Barrel.” Its front half was literally in the shape of a barrel on its side with a set of double doors on the lid. Through round windows in the doors she could see a few people already there, a flash of pink hair, and pint glasses of beer being slung back. Adora is well aware of geologists and their fondness for craft brews, she was kind of ambivalent about them though. She smooths out her loose gray sweater over a pair of regular blue jeans, and checks her ponytail before taking a deep breath and diving inside.

The first thing she notices is that there’s a large group of 10 or so 20-somethings at a corner booth in the back of the bar, and the second thing is that the place is almost empty other than the group and a singular bartender who was busy wiping glasses down until he saw Adora walk in. As she takes in her surroundings, the man slams down the glass he was cleaning, genuinely surprising Adora when it didn’t break.

“You! I’ve not seen you around before, what’s your name?”

Not having had any kind of communication other than email the past couple days clearly had an effect on Adora as she was struggling to even get her name out of her throat.

“I’m uh-I’m A-Adora.”

“Hmm. Adora eh? I’m Seahawk!” When he says his name he props a leg on a stool behind the bar and imitates a classic Captain Morgan stance while stroking his mustache with one hand.

“Nice to meet you...Seahawk. I’m uh...I’m here for the grad student meetup.”

“Oh of course! I figured. I just need to see some ID.” Adora mentally kicked herself for not remembering to have it ready when she walked in. “Oh of course! Here ya go.”

Seahawk just briefly glanced at the birth date on the driver’s license before nodding. “You’re good to go! That table in the corner is what you’re looking for. Do you want a drink?”

She really, really did. She could use it. “Sure, yeah why not?”

Adora made her way to the booth, beer in hand, and mentally prepared herself for all the bad outcomes that could happen tonight. As she got closer, the pink-haired woman who she glimpsed through the window caught her eye, and she immediately speaks with such enthusiasm and confidence that Adora is frankly thrown off.

“Hey are you Adora Sheradon?”

“Oh yeah! That’s me. Is this the grad student meetup group?” As she said this, she began to get a better look at the faces at the table. A woman with long, loosely braided hair with the sharpest eyeliner Adora had ever seen, another with straw blonde hair that trailed down to the base of her back that seemed to match the flow of the dress she was wearing, a man wearing a...is that a crop top?

The girl that greeted her started up again. “You’re at the right place! I’m Glimmer, and this is the rest of our cohort this year! Welcome to the party!” She scooted over on her seat and made room for Adora next to her before the table immediately began their conversations again. Glimmer got her attention before beginning to introduce everyone around the table, “This is Bow, he’s my best friend. We came to grad school together!” Adora felt an unmistakable twinge of pain at that comment. Bow reached out to shake her hand, “Nice to meet you! Apparently we’ve got a big cohort this year. What are you studying here?”

Adora wasn’t sure what it was, but she began to actually feel comfortable here, and she wasn’t one for bars anyway. Glimmer and Bow just seemed to have such kind faces and go out of their way to include her. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as she thought.

“Oh I work on meteorites.” At that, their faces lit up into the wows and gasps she had grown used to whenever she told people about her work. It really wasn’t as exciting as people thought, but she did get a little pleasure out of her research being so “sexy”.

Bow was the first to comment, “No way that’s so amazing! I’m so jealous!”

Adora continued, “It’s not that big of a deal. What do y’all work on?”

Glimmer got to the punch first. “We both do aqueous geochemistry. Y’know, like groundwater contamination stuff.”

Adora interrupted, “Hey that’s not boring! Give yourself some more credit!”

As the night dragged on, Adora met the rest of her cohort and found that she actually did like all of them. The socializing got easier as they got more drinks and learned the typical social stuff: where everyone was from, how long they’d been in Bright Moon, research stuff. None of them probed too far into each other’s past, but Adora couldn’t keep Glimmer’s comment about her and Bow ruminate on her mind all night long.

## Catra: First Year of Her PhD

Approaching the front of the chemistry building at Fright Zone University, Catra felt a twinge of anxiety come into the back of her mind. She’d never actually met her advisor before. Professor Weaver and her had only exchanged a handful of emails to confirm logistics before Catra moved and to coordinate their meeting today. It had taken her long enough to figure out where the building was and she was almost late already, so hopefully the same problem wouldn’t present itself when Catra was looking for her advisor’s office.

She found it, half a minute late but not too bad. The dark, gravelly voice of a woman called out as Catra approached the cracked open office door on the 6th floor.

“Catra Carrero. Welcome to Fright Zone University.”

She steeled herself, straightened her jacket collar, and pushed open the door. In front of Catra sat a black-haired woman dressed in slacks and a dark blue blouse, Catra couldn’t see her shoes but she was positive they were jet black and menacing.

“Hi Dr. Weaver. It’s ni-”

“Sit.” Frozen mid-sentence, Catra obeyed the order. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but it wasn’t this. She tried to finish what she was saying before she was interrupted again.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Dr. Weaver studied her, face cradled in one hand while her other gently tapped a pen against the desk. One second went by. Two. Five.

Catra could feel beads of sweat pooling in her armpits and lower back.

“So.” Dr. Weaver remained statuesque except for the movement of her mouth as she talked and the tapping of her pen. “You’ve got quite the record.”

Tap.

“And your research...you made a lot of progress during undergrad, correct?”

Tap.

What was Professor Weaver’s goal here? Intimidate her to death? What kind of work could she put out like that?

“Yes, I did. I wasn’t first author for nothing.”

Professor Weaver frowned. Catra thought she frowned at least. Her face was incredibly hard to read. She set her pen down and leaned back in her office chair before speaking again.

“You’re going to spend this year taking physics courses. There’s practically none on your transcript to speak of and you’re severely lacking.” She seemed to glance at Catra, waiting for her reaction.

It took all of Catra’s willpower to hide her frustration. She was top of her class. Well, practically top. She already had a first author paper under her belt. She closed her fist so tightly she could feel the nails beginning to dig in, but she wouldn’t show it on her face.

“Yes...ma’am.”

Dr. Weaver’s subtle grimace shifted into a smile. “Run along Catra. Meet me back here next week. Same time.”

Catra was shocked. She had heard of bad advisors but never expected to get stuck with one herself. How could she have been so blind to the red flags on the way here? She should have noticed. She should have listened to-

No. She’s fine. She can get through this. She can get through anything. She’ll find a way to make it through this program with or without Dr. Weaver’s help. Whatever it takes to get to the other side.


	2. First Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More is revealed about the past, and Adora can't seem to escape it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don't know, field camp is a standard "course" for geology undergraduates in the United States. A lot of students do it after they finish their last classes and then technically graduate at the end of the summer instead of the spring like most students. Field camps are usually about 4 or 5 weeks spent camping in the wilderness on the other side of the country with a handful of other students and a couple professors guiding you in doing geological field work centered around making maps, interpreting layers of rock, basic stuff like that. Some people love it, some people hate it!

## Catra: Freshman Year

“Is this seat taken?”

Catra looked up from her phone to the bright, beaming blue eyes of a young woman with an immaculate ponytail of blonde hair. She was disgusted by how perfectly the girl held herself.

“...No.”

“Thanks.”

There was an awkward silence as she pulled out the chair to sit down beside Catra. She followed the girl’s movements in her periphery as she began to take a notebook and a few multicolored pens out of her bag and place them on the table in front of her.

“Hello class.”

Both of their heads jolted up to face the professor at the front of the auditorium.

“Welcome to Geology 101. I’ll be teaching you this semester.” Figures. Another old white guy teaching a geology course. “We’ll go over the syllabus today and if we have time, maybe even get a head start on our first lesson!” Catra could almost feel the mental groan come from her classmates spread around the lecture hall.

Although she’d never admit it, she was excited about this class. She’d especially never admit it because it was about rocks. Catra even printed out the syllabus beforehand, which she never did. Yeah she had to take a science course anyway and she heard this was the easiest one, which definitely made a difference, but still. She couldn’t quite place why, but this place had hooked her.

Before she knew it, the hour was over. They didn’t have time to start the lesson.

“If you have any questions, email me or come to my office hours! See you in class on Wednesday!”

She began packing up her printed out syllabus and notebook when she realized that the girl next to her was gone already.

## Adora: First Year of Her PhD

Adora was...pleasantly surprised with herself. She had come out of the grad student meet and greet in one piece and even made some friends. Bow and Glimmer stood out the most in her memory, but what she remembered most was how nice and friendly everyone was. She wasn’t expecting them to be rude per se, but she counted her lucky stars that she didn’t get any bad feelings about them.

It was Monday now, and Adora guessed it was finally time to unpack the boxes lining her kitchen, living room, and bedroom. After filling the coffee maker up with freshly ground beans, filtered water, and pressing “Brew”, she began with the kitchen boxes before she woke up enough to realize how much she didn’t want to be doing this.

She managed to get the plates and glasses up in the cabinet before the coffee was done. She opened up the box with her mugs and grabbed the first one she could see to get some coffee in her system and clear the fog hanging over her brain from last night.

Okay. Focus Adora. Who was it that you met last night? There’s Bow and Glimmer, those are the clearest. Who else? The really nice girl with strawberry blonde hair. Her name was...Perfuma. Right. She worked with...Mermista. They did carbon cycling and isotope stuff. Adora would definitely reach out to one of them later if she was having trouble.

She went over the list of her fellow graduate students in her mind, attaching a concrete piece of information to each of them so she could remember their names better. She would rather die than be caught off guard and not remember.

Today was Adora’s meeting with Dr. Angella. She was nervous, obviously, but the video call sessions they’d had in the couple weeks since she got back from field camp definitely helped her feel comfortable talking to Angella one-on-one.

Adora still hadn’t bought any food for her new kitchen, so she picked up a bagel at one of the cafes from her list on the walk to campus and rehearsed her research and career goals in her head.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you face-to-face Adora. I’m thrilled to have you here working with us.”

Angella, Adora’s primary advisor as well as faculty supervisor, was a surprisingly tall, slender woman wearing standard navy trousers and a white long-sleeve button-down tucked into her pants. She sat with perfect posture in her chair with her fingers intertwined in front of her as Adora took a seat across the desk from her. There was a wide array of knick knacks, rock samples, and textbooks around her desk and on the bookshelf behind her. Adora could see a framed picture of Angella and Glimmer with their arms wrapped around each other on Angella’s desk. They looked like they were on the beach somewhere.

“I’m glad to be here! I’m uh..I’m really excited to start working with you on our research.”

Angella’s voice flowed so smoothly, it was clear why her lectures were standing room only. “I am too, Adora. But don’t push yourself. It’s only your first week, and you just got back from field camp a few weeks ago right? That, and moving to Bright Moon must have been exhausting. By the way, how did you like being out in the field? Is that something you’d like to continue doing as you move forward?”

Adora hadn’t rehearsed this part. She could feel her carefully constructed attitude cracking as her hands started to shake and the silence seemed to last for hours, but Adora couldn’t bring herself to say anything at all. 

Angella broke the tension first. She reached forward and squeezed one of Adora’s hands, looking into her eyes with a surprisingly understanding smile. 

“I want you to know that this office is open to you at any time, Adora. Take my phone number.” She gracefully grabbed a pen from a mug on her desk and wrote her number on a scrap sheet of paper before handing it to Adora.”if you ever need to talk, please let me know. This whole process isn’t easy for anyone, and you can’t make it through by yourself.”

“I-I’m sorry.” Adora took a moment to regain her composure and get out of her own head. “I...appreciate that a lot, thank you.”

“You’re not alone here Adora. Give it some time, and I think you’ll realize that you have a family here. Finish Introducing yourself to everyone, get used to the city, and we’ll get to your research soon enough. Don’t let it weigh on you though. I know you’ll do great here. I believe in you.”

On the elevator ride down from her meeting, Adora couldn’t help but beat herself up. She had almost been brought to tears just because of a question about field camp? Really? On the other hand, Angella was amazing. An understanding, calm, welcoming advisor and a friendly cohort? She was glad she came here. But...

It was hard to admit to herself...but she was worried about Catra. Not everyone is as lucky as Adora is when it comes to finding an amazing community to work with, there are only so many out there and she took one off the list by coming here.

As the elevator dinged to signify the arrival at the first floor, Adora felt a buzz from her back pocket.

Glimmer  


> do u wanna come over and order some pizza 2nite with me and bow? there’s an awesome place downtown that delivers !! pls !!

First off, an invite out to dinner? She didn’t want to be a third wheel. Bow and Glimmer seemed...really close. She wasn’t sure if they were dating or not yet and she definitely didn’t want to cause any trouble by asking. Second, Glimmer definitely had a recognizable texting style.

Angella’s words rang in her mind.

Adora  


> I’ll be there! What time should I come over?

Glimmer  


> YAYYY !!!!  
>  be there at 8 !

Adora sighed as she stepped out of the Earth and Planetary Science Building and onto the sidewalk outside. It was about 1:00 now, so that gave her plenty of time to head to the gym, get some grocery shopping done, maybe unpack a little more, and get ready before heading to Glimmer’s apartment. Some pizza would be nice to round out today.

Adora reached the door of Glimmer’s apartment at 7:56, a few minutes early but she couldn’t help it. She bought a bottle of prosecco wine at the grocery store earlier because she wasn’t sure whether she should bring something to tonight or not, and Glimmer _definitely_ seemed like a prosecco type of girl.

She knocked twice with her free hand, bottle of wine hanging from the other. Within a few seconds the door whipped open and Glimmer was standing in front of her in shorts and a sweatshirt, a little more relaxed than Adora’s “play it safe” outfit that was comprised of comfortable jeans and a solid colored t-shirt with the sleeves cuffed.

Adora smiled sheepishly as she held up the bottle, “I brought wine!”

Glimmer’s eyes seemed to sparkle as she looked at the bottle. “Oh my god how’d you know I loved prosecco? Usually we just stick to cheap beer!”

“Oh I just, had a feeling.”

As Adora walked into the apartment she realized how well designed and decorated the entire place was. A dark wood dining table by the kitchen, a coffee table piled high with books and a pair of laptops. The most impressive part was the lack of moving boxes. In the living room was also an out of place dingy couch with a friendly-faced Bow sitting on top in a cropped t-shirt and sweatpants. He waved from his spot on the couch.

“Hey Adora! Are you ready for movie night? Glimmer and I have it every Monday!”

Adora turned to Glimmer. “Oh! What’re we watching?”

She smirked up at Adora, “We’ve been on a Godzilla kick lately, so tonight’s The Return of Godzilla from the 80s. It’s kinda stupid, but we love it.”

The pizza they ordered arrived soon after they started on the wine and Bow quickly fell asleep once he mixed the two. Adora had a feeling he did that often. Then, it was just Glimmer and Adora watching Godzilla fight off tanks and jets while trading sips from a half empty bottle of wine.

“So, I heard you talked to my mom today.”

Adora’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh my god I had no idea! I mean, yeah, I did. But I had no idea Angella is your mom!”

Glimmer took her eyes away from the screen to look at Adora with her legs pulled up in front of her on the couch. “It’s no big deal. She’s not my advisor, so it’s fine.” That explains the lack of boxes in the apartment. “She told me about what happened.”

Adora felt her face drop. This was so embarrassing. She almost burst into tears in her advisor’s office on her _first_ day here and now her cohort knows all about it.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

Adora brought her eyes back up to meet Glimmer’s and take the bottle back before a long swig.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She didn’t, not really. The wine definitely made a difference though. “I uh...I had a bad field camp experience last summer.”

“What happened?”

Adora tried to put it all into words, but she could feel it getting clogged in the back of her throat and not knowing where to start. After a moment, it finally came to her.

“Me and my... _friend_ went to the same field camp together. We got into a fight there. It ended badly. No I guess I just...I don’t know how to act without her.” The words kept coming out. Adora couldn’t stop them even if she wanted to. “We were so close for so long, and it all came tumbling down all at once.” Tears began to stream down her face and her breaths became shallower and faster. Glimmer scooted closer to put her hand on Adora’s knee. “I miss her Glimmer. I miss her so much and it _hurts_. I don’t know what I’m doing and I feel like there’s a massive hole in my chest where she used to be and all I can think about is how I let her down.”

The words finally stopped and Adora’s chest was wracked with sobs. Glimmer held out her arms and Adora collapsed into them, gasping for air and her whole body shaking with exhaustion.

After a few minutes, Adora could finally catch her breath. When she did, Glimmer broke the silence.

“What’s her name?”

“...Catra.”

“Well, I’m not saying this to try and discredit you Adora, but you have friends here too. You’ve got us at least!” Glimmer gestured to Bow, still snoring on the floor. The sight of his drool running down his cheek and onto the carpet made Adora laugh. She reached out and hugged Glimmer back.

“Thank you...I promise I’m here if you ever need anything either. I’d love to keep coming to movie night, and I promise this won’t happen every time.”

Glimmer pulled away and looked at Adora’s face still wet with tears. “You know, we all have days like these. I know Bow and I both do. It’s just important to talk about it and not keep it inside. That’s what friends are for.”

## Catra: Freshman Year

On Wednesday, Catra got up early to make sure she got a seat at the front of the lecture hall instead of getting stuck in one of the middle rows. Part of her was sad to abandon her seating partner with the blonde hair. She seemed nice, and she was much better than being next to a group that talked all lecture or a guy who tried to flirt with her every chance he got. Lost in thought, Catra realized her eyes were resting on the door to the lecture hall, but only after she was met with the same blue eyes she saw on Monday. She returned Catra’s stare and paused at the entrance, frozen with her mouth slightly open, before giving a small smile and continuing to walk inside.

What the fuck? Why was she so early? Only a couple people had made it already and she had almost been late last time, so what’s the deal?

Wait.

She walked right past the middle row seats they had sat at on Monday. She was still walking towards Catra. Oh god. Catra quickly fumbled to close her notebook that she was doodling in.

The girl stopped at the seat next to Catra’s.

“Hi. Do you mind if I sit here?”

“Um. Go for it.”

She pulled out the chair beside Catra and set her backpack on the table before pulling out the familiar green notebook with “Geology 101” scrawled across the cover.

Catra pulled out her phone to try and quell some of the nervousness bubbling up inside her.

“I’m Adora. What’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m Catra.”

“Are you a geology major?”

Catra scoffed. “Me? No I’m not a geology major. I’m...undecided I guess. Still figuring it out.”

“Oh okay! Nice to meet you Catra.”

Adora got her phone out and started scrolling through it. Catra was so confused. She guessed it’s possible that Adora feels the same as her and wants to sit in the front to avoid the lecture hall whisperers and desperate frat guys. I mean, she’s tall, blonde, has a cute face, and now that Catra really looks she sees how lean Adora is. She does a good job of hiding it under a bulky sweater and jeans. Catra could understand why some random guys might try to flirt with her. 

But also, now she stops talking again. What’s the deal with that? I mean, there was still 5 minutes left until their professor usually got there, so why not talk? Catra decided to make the first attempt.

“Are you a freshman?”

Adora looked up from her phone and Catra can see Adora’s eyes look into hers again. “Yeah. I just moved into Brown Hall last week. What about you?”

“Oh me too! I mean, I’d much rather live in my own place off campus or something instead of in a dorm with someone random.” She tried to put up a little fake confidence until she could muster up some of the real kind.

Adora giggled.

Catra realized what she’d asked her a minute ago, and now she was curious too. “Are you a geology major?”

Adora smiled and started to play with one of the pens she’d set on the table. “Oh, yeah I am. I just think it’s all so cool. Learning about how planets formed and evolved is awesome. I know that probably sounds pretty lame, but…”

“I mean, they don’t call it rocks for jocks for nothing.”

The blonde-haired girl smirked at that. “I guess it’s perfect for me then. That doesn’t explain why you’re here though. You’re practically just skin and bones.”

Now Catra was really enjoying herself.

“Wow princess, I didn’t realize you had it in you.”

“I mean, you didn’t know my name until 5 minutes ago, so don’t be surprised that you can’t read me as easily as you thought.”

“How about this then. After class, we race to the Student Union and whoever gets there last has to pay for both of our lunches _and_ tell their entire life story.”

Adora looked at Catra’s eyes, traced her body down to her feet, and back up to her eyes when she seemed satisfied with herself. “You’re on. I could use a free lunch.”

“Don’t be so cocky, you don’t know anything about me yet.”

Adora looked at her out of the corner of her eye as their professor finally arrived, interrupting their conversation. 

An hour and a half later, Catra was handing her debit card to Adora to cover lunch.


	3. Lunar Eclipse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora go on a late night field trip to watch the lunar eclipse on the beach.

## December of Freshman Year

Adora checked her watch. 11:57PM. She pulled her wool hat tighter around her ears as a stiff wind blew right into her, sending shivers up her spine and down into her toes. She wasn’t used to the winters here just yet. The first snow was a couple weeks ago and it left a blanket of cold on campus. Her secondhand parka wasn’t perfect, but it got the job done when her trusty sweater was underneath it with two pairs of leggings and her jeans too.

What’s taking Catra so long? As soon as the thought appeared in her head, Catra’s slender form, dressed in just a pair of leggings tucked into hiking boots and a pullover hoodie with a duffel bag slung over one shoulder.

“What took you so long? It’s _freezing_ out here.”

Catra pulled out her phone and glanced at the screen before looking back at Adora with a look that she knew all too well by now.

“Are you serious Adora? It’s 12 on the dot.”

Adora turned to the side and huffed, trying not to betray the chatter her teeth were making.

Catra gave her a light punch in the shoulder and laughed, “Y’know, you don’t have to be so early to _everything_ , it’s not my fault you showed up only to wait out in the cold for little old me. C’mon let’s get going before you freeze to death!” Catra started off down the sidewalk with a smug look on her face and her hands tucked in her hoodie.

Adora caught up a second later and pushed her shoulder into Catra’s before matching her pace, “Thanks again for driving tonight. I really didn’t want to miss out on the eclipse.”

“Psh, like I had a choice. I know how nerdy you are Princess. If I’d said no, you would’ve never let me live it down!”

Catra and Adora’s “Intro to Geology” class was finishing up before winter break. Yes, they were both stressed about finals, but not for this class, it just came easily to both of them. However, their professor had invited everyone who wanted to see the eclipse to join him on a mini-field trip. They were meeting on the beach outside the city because of the lack of light pollution, and since it was supposed to be cloudy until around 3:00AM, a lot of them decided that they’d just camp out on the beach instead of drive home, including Catra and Adora.

A few minutes after they left Brown Hall in the dark, they arrived at Catra’s car inside the student parking garage.

As they approached the tan sedan with more than a few dents in it, Adora spoke up. “Is this your car?”

Catra stopped and glared at Adora, “Uh, obviously! Got a problem with it?”

She put her hands up defensively. “No of course not! I _love_ it!” Adora approached the side of the car and ran one of her hands alongside it, jaw dropped in amazement and eyes sparkling.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” Catra went to the trunk and put her key in before turning and popping the trunk open and dropping her bag inside. “What would you rather look at, my old beater or the lunar eclipse?”

That got Adora’s attention. She jumped out of her trance and ran to the back of the sedan to drop her backpack inside and practically sprinted to the passenger door.

“That’s what I thought.”

Catra pressed the trunk down. It popped back open.

She sighed. She slammed it again, but it went right back up.

Adora tried to keep her chuckle quiet.

Catra grabbed it and with as much force as possible, slammed the trunk into its slot and a _click_ was audible this time.

Catra looked at Adora, “Don’t. Say. Anything. Don’t forget I’m your ride.”

Adora straightened as stiff as a board, managing to keep her giggles back with sheer willpower but not the pink tint in her cheeks and on her nose.

As the car pulled out of the parking garage, Adora realized she’d never been off campus with Catra before. Yeah, this was _technically_ a school-related trip, but she thought it was a big step. Stopped at a red light, the warm glow illuminated Catra’s face and Adora caught herself counting the freckles spotted across her nose and cheeks. She’d noticed that they’d started to fade away with the sun’s slow disappearance this winter.

The light turned into a dull green, and the dim traffic light was replaced by passing street lamps that showered the inside of the car into shades of burnt yellow.

Adora checked her watch again. 12:30AM. They wouldn’t be at the meeting point until around 1:30. She was suddenly extremely relieved that Catra brought an energy drink with her and was already starting on it.

“Thanks again for taking me tonight, I promise I’ll pay you back for the gas.”

Catra smiled and let out a heavy breath through her nose. “You better. Don’t thank me too much though. If I’m being honest, I kind of wanted to go too.”

Adora let out an exaggerated gasp and put her hand over her mouth, “No _way_! Catra Carrero, actually wanting to learn for once? Who are you and what have you done with Catra?”

Catra reached out and shoved Adora’s arm without taking her eyes off the road. “Shut up! God you’re so _annoying_ you nerd!”

They both broke out into laughter as they passed over a bridge that let them out of the city and onto the interstate headed east. The yellow streetlamps on every block were replaced by car headlights and the faint reflection of them on the clouds above their heads. The car’s heat had finally started to pick up and Adora was starting to sweat. She struggled for a moment to take her parka off while staying in her seat, but eventually pulled both arms out of the sleeves and threw it into the backseat before rolling her bulky sweater up to her elbows.

“Sorry, my car doesn’t really have different settings for heat and AC. It just has off and on”

Adora smiled, “That’s okay! I think it’s kind of amazing that you even have a car in the first place.”

“What do you mean? I mean I love her, but she’s kind of a piece of junk. You’re not allowed to say that though, just me.” Catra took another swig of her energy drink, and Adora could smell the coffee base from the passenger seat.

“I mean, a beat up car is better than no car, right?” She laughed under her breath.

Catra glanced over at Adora with her eyes wide, realizing the situation. “Oh my god I’m sorry! I didn’t realize-”

“Wow, I didn’t think you were even physically capable of apologizing.” Adora crossed her arms and smirked back. She suddenly got sheepish, “It’s fine Catra! I just...I don’t know. I never got the chance to learn to drive or have a car and it’s always been on my bucket list once I get a _real_ job.”

“You never learned how to drive?”

“Nope.”

“How do you ever get anywhere?”

“Ever heard of walking, Catra? Or trains, or buses? Wow, I knew you were dumb but I never thought it was this bad!”

Catra rolled her eyes before settling them on the road in front of them. “You know, I could teach you sometime. To drive I mean. As long as you promise not to wreck my car.”

Those familiar sparkles in Adora’s bright blue eyes came back. “Really? Would you? Please, please, please, _please_!”

“Okay okay! Relax! I’ll teach you how to drive.” Before Catra could fight her off, Adora leaned over the armrest of the passenger seat and wrapped her arms around Catra’s neck and hugged her. Catra yelped in surprise, “Ah! Okay that’s enough! Get off! First lesson, don’t distract the driver!”

Adora let go and rested her elbows on the armrest between the two of them. Catra could see her face out of the corner of her eyes and felt frozen. She wanted to slap herself and snap out of the daze she was in, but the smell of strawberry left by Adora's hair in her face when she’d hugged her was so sweet it made her cheeks warm.

“Thank you Catra. For...being so nice to me.”

“What? Keep talking like that and I’ll have to start being mean more often.”

“I mean it.” There was something in Adora’s voice that hinted at something much deeper than pleasantries or teasing. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Catra took her eyes off the road for a moment to look at Adora, her first mistake. When she turned her head, she saw Adora with her legs pulled up in her seat gazing back at Catra. Her signature ponytail had started to fray and a few strands of blonde hair framed her face with her arms peeking out from below the bulky sweater she was wearing.

Catra couldn’t peel her eyes away for much longer than it was safe to do so. After what felt like an eternity, she faced the road in front of her and was grateful she wasn’t about to crash. She smiled what felt like the most sincere smile she’d ever shown. 

“You’re welcome Princess. I guess I’m glad we’re friends too.”

For a few minutes, there was silence as they drifted further and further away from the city and the cars kept dwindling until it was just them on the road. 

Catra heard a sharp inhale from beside her and looked over to see tears streaming down Adora’s face.

“Oh my god Adora are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”

She sniffled before talking, “No.” Adora chuckled without missing a beat. “I just, it’s been a long time since someone’s called me their friend.”

Catra started to panic. She wasn’t very good with things like this. “Hey. Hey it’s okay Adora.” She put her right hand on Adora’s knee to try and comfort her while she was driving, but her eyebrows were knitted with concern. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Should I pull over?”

“No dummy. These are happy tears.” Adora sniffled and Catra seemed to relax a little. “I um...Can I tell you something?”

The corner of Catra’s mouth curved upwards ever so gently. “I mean you’re already crying in front of me, why not?”

“You have to promise not to laugh at me.”

“Adora, you _know_ I can’t make that promise.” She squeezed her knee and sent a comforting glance towards Adora. She managed to get a chuckle out of her.

“Well uh...I’ve always had trouble making friends because I always tried to be the person they wanted me to be. Which...obviously...never worked out. I guess I just wanted them to like me, but I was afraid to show them the real me.”

Even Catra couldn’t bring herself to poke fun at Adora right now, not like this.

“Are you doing that right now? Trying to be the person you think I want you to be?”

“No...I promised myself that I would never do that again. For myself, but also for everyone else.”

Catra sent a suspicious look at Adora. “You promise?”

Adora reached out towards Catra and uncurled her pinkie finger from her fist.

“Really? A pinky promise?” Catra couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“Hey! You promised you wouldn’t laugh at me!”

“That was for something else, not doing pinky promises like a 9-year-old!”

Adora pushed her outstretched pinkie even closer to Catra’s face and adopted a pouting face to try and get Catra to accept it.

“Ugh, _fine_.” She reached up and wrapped her finger around Adora’s, holding it there for a few seconds until Adora pulled away and readjusted in her seat.

“Y’know, you’re really a lot sweeter than you give yourself credit for.”

“Don’t you ever say something like that again!” Adora started laughing until all her tears were dried up and the only thing on Catra’s mind was the ghost of Adora’s pinkie wrapped around hers.

At 1:42, Catra pulled her sedan into a gravel parking lot overlooking the beach. There were a handful of other cars there, none of which she recognized, but she could see a group of people gathered on some logs and lawn chairs on the beach.

“Alright are you ready for me to turn the heat off Princess, or are you gonna freeze to death?”

Adora was hurriedly pulling on her parka that she’d retrieved from the back seat of the car. “I don’t get you Catra. How do you not freeze to death out here with only a hoodie and some leggings on? It’s literally freezing.”

“I guess I’m just warm blooded by nature.” Adora was so jealous. She hated the cold, but would brave any kind of weather to see the lunar eclipse tonight. The sky was entirely dark except for a faint yellow tint to the clouds in one area. That must be it. The excitement of it all was almost enough to keep her warm all on its own. Almost.

Adora had finished putting her parka and wool hat back on and was eager to get out and join the group, she didn’t want to miss a single bit of tonight. She called towards Catra as she opened the passenger door and stepped out, “Let’s go slowpoke!”

Catra sighed and climbed out on the driver’s side before looking over at Adora over the roof of the car. “You beat me _once_ Adora, and that’s only because you caught me by surprise!”

“Sure Catra, whatever you say.” She loved getting under Catra’s skin. She was getting used to it herself, but it was so fun whenever Catra got frustrated and stuttered over her words while trying to come up with a comeback.

As they approached the group of people on the beach, they both heard the familiar, gruff voice of their geology professor. “Hello? Can I help you?”

Adora spoke up first, “It’s just Catra and Adora! Don’t worry.”

“Oh I’m so glad you girls came! You’re gonna love this. Here, come sit down.” Some of the others there scooted over to make room on one of the logs around what looked like a burnt out campfire. Adora recognized some of the people around her as classmates, but not all of them. She figured they were upperclassmen or grad students here to join in on the watch party.

Their professor slid into his spiel about how the Moon was created 4.5 billion years ago when a giant object the size of Mars hit Earth and both bodies partially broke apart and melted before reforming into spheres. Earth recovered faster than the Moon did, forming the upper layer of crust. However, many scientists think the Moon was covered in a liquid magma ocean that made its densest material sink to the bottom and its lightest rise to the top before totally solidifying into what we see today.

Adora had heard this lecture before, and she suspected everyone here had heard it as well at some point in their geology coursework. But there was something especially fascinating about this story specifically. Adora couldn’t quite place it. She looked over at Catra seated next to her and was surprised to see her with her hands on her knees, leaning forward as far as she could with her eyes and ears locked on their professor as he talked. Adora was usually too focused on the lecture herself to look at Catra, but even when she did, she never looked like this. Catra was absolutely enamored with a look in her eyes that Adora had never seen before. Her hair was falling in front of her face while the sounds of waves crashing onto the shoreline echoed in the background. Adora had never seen Catra so...focused. No, that wasn't really the right word. She looked like she was in love with the words that came out of their professor's mouth, drinking in each one with a never ending thirst. Adora almost felt...jealous. She wanted Catra to look at her like that.

Their professor finished after a little while and instructed those of them who were planning on camping out tonight to go ahead and set up their tents before it got too horribly late. Adora followed Catra to the car to get their bags and snacks as well as their sleeping bags and tent. Catra approached the trunk with her key at the ready and popped it open, grabbing her duffel and swinging it around her shoulders before reaching in and grabbing the tent. Adora finally caught up and had the privilege of witnessing Catra trying to shut the trunk with her arms full.

“Need some help?”

Catra shot her a look, “Don’t you dare.”

As she said that, Adora grabbed her own backpack with one hand, then reached up to grab the lid of the trunk and slam it down with her free arm, locking it into place on the first try.

Catra looked up at her before walking past towards the beach. “Show off.”

Adora called after her half-jokingly, “If you’re so upset, maybe you should do something about it.”

They arrived at a smooth spot on the sand that they’d picked out. “Can’t you tell? Working out isn’t really my thing, especially with a giant gym rat like you.”

“What about sports? Is that something you’re into?”

“Depends...what kind of sports?”

Adora started to take out the tent construction equipment and started laying it out while talking. “I mean, I’ve been wanting to join a volleyball team since classes started. I played a lot in high school and I guess I miss it. Or is that too _girly_ for you?”

“You know you’re lucky to still be alive, talking to me like that.”

Adora stopped putting the stakes in the ground to look up at Catra and smirk, “Does that mean you’ll join one with me? I hear they’re recruiting new players for the Spring semester!”

Catra definitely did want to, but she couldn’t let Adora win _that_ easily.

“Maybe I’ll consider it if you put the tent up all by yourself.”

“Wait really? Deal!” She immediately set to work, meticulously arranging the poles and canvas along the sand they’d leveled.

Honestly, Catra didn’t think she’d actually do it. She must be serious. And if she’s being serious, that must mean she _really_ wants Catra to join with her. She’d never played volleyball before, but she really liked the girls who did, so it must not be too bad. Catra had always relied on her natural athleticism in sports, up until high school when it actually started to make a difference how much you practiced. She wasn’t about to spend all day practicing a sport where she couldn’t even be bothered to remember the rules of it. But, why not give it another try? She liked Adora, so it couldn’t be all bad if she got to hang out with her friend. Before Catra knew it, the tent was entirely set up with both sleeping bags laid out inside and a proud Adora standing beside it.

“So...what do you think?”

“Um...nice job. What are you a Girl Scout?”

Adora broke her prideful stance. “Okay first, I meant what do you think about volleyball? And second, yeah, I was a Girl Scout thank you very much.”

“Of course you were. Obviously.”

Adora glared at her expectantly.

“And...I guess I’ll give it a try.”

Adora sprang forward and wrapped her arms around Catra, lifting her up and squeezing so hard she could barely breathe.

“Oh Catra you’re gonna love it! Trust me! I know you will!”

“Okay okay please put me down!”

“Oh! Right.” Adora set her back down on the ground and noticed the blush in Catra’s cheeks.

“I’ll give one practice a try, okay? And if I don’t like it then I’m not coming back.”

Adora shook her head up and down, “Deal!”

As she looked down at Catra, she saw her eyes grow wide. “What is it?”

“Adora look.” Catra pointed at the sky, and as Adora followed her arm she saw what she was shocked by.

The clouds had begun to part without either of them noticing, and in between the wisps was the huge, burnt orange of the Moon being eclipsed by the very planet they were both standing on. It seemed much closer than usual, and they could count every single crater on the surface if they wanted. The longer they looked, the more they saw. The stars had come out from behind the clouds too, and Adora had never seen this many stars in her entire life. There were thousands, no, millions. At least. She didn’t even know that there _were_ this many stars. As the clouds moved further and further away, the stars began to be uncovered across the entire sky, lighting up the beach around the two girls and the ocean in front of them.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s amazing.”

They laid there, in the sand, looking up at the Moon and the stars for half an hour, until Adora broke the silence by starting to snore.

Catra shook her awake, “Are you serious Adora? The lunar eclipse is happening right in front of our eyes and now you want to sleep?”

Adora groaned and checked her watch. 3:40AM. “Jesus Catra it’s so late. I’m gonna have to sleep sooner or later.”

“Ugh fine.” Catra got up from the ground and stood up before reaching her hand out to Adora, “Do you want to go to bed?”

“Thank god.” She reached out and grasped Catra’s arm to heave herself up with her support.

Back in the tent, their respective sleeping bags were laid out on the floor with their bags against the wall. Adora got inside first and pulled out a t-shirt from her backpack. Catra sat down with her back to Adora to give her some privacy while she pulled out her own pajamas: a pair of ultrasoft pants with different cat prints scattered around on them and a solid tank top and put them on herself. When Catra turned back around, she saw Adora halfway in her sleeping bag with her pants, sweater, and bra folded up by her bag. Did she get out any shorts or pants to sleep in? Catra couldn’t remember, but she’d never seen her in a short sleeve shirt before. The definition of her arms was...astonishing. She could see her wide shoulders gracefully slide into the muscles of her biceps and triceps meeting at her elbows and filling out the short sleeve shirt.

Adora looked over and saw Catra’s pants and giggled. “So...you like cats?”

Catra couldn’t bring herself to come up with anything clever to say in response, it was too late and she was too exhausted, so all she did was throw a pillow at Adora’s face. “You really are annoying, you know that?”

“Oh I know.”

At that, Adora rolled to face away from Catra as she climbed into her own sleeping bag.

“Goodnight Catra. Thank you again.”

“You better stop thanking me before I throw something heavier at your face.” Adora laughed, and then there was silence. Sleep didn’t come as easily for Catra. She stared at the roof of the tent that she and Adora shared.

Catra was frustrated with herself. Why was it so hard for her to be open with Adora? Yes, her walls were slowly falling down, but she had the perfect opportunity to talk to Adora about her own relationship troubles, and she didn’t. Ugh. Being friends is hard.

Catra heard rustling in the sleeping bag beside her. As she looked to her left, she saw Adora roll over onto her side and face Catra again, sleeping soundly.

She had taken her blonde hair out of its normal ponytail, so now it was draped across her pillow, her shoulders, and her face. As Adora took her breaths, strands of her hair were pulled towards her and then towards Catra, then back again. Catra looked at her, _really_ looked at her for the first time since they met.

Yeah, being friends was gonna be hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know this chapter is just one big flashback but honestly I got carried away writing it so here we are!
> 
> Also, if you're interested in other theories/explanations for how Earth's Moon formed, check this article out that summarizes it pretty well!! https://www.space.com/19275-moon-formation.html


	4. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra process trauma in very different ways, but they're both trying their best to move forward in their PhD programs.

## Catra: 3 months since the start of her PhD

Catra dashed forward towards the net and dove with her arms outstretched to receive the ball in perfect form before her body slammed into the hardwood floor.

“Entrapta!”

Entrapta’s small form ran across the court to get ready to send the volleyball in Scorpia’s direction. As it began to fall, it landed squarely in Entrapta’s raised hands before she arced it parallel to the net. Scorpia raced and hopped into the air with her legs bent behind her and slammed it onto the other side of the net, squarely between Lonnie and Kyle’s defeated faces before they had the chance to react.

Catra watched Scorpia in what felt like slow motion as she landed back on the hardwood, until she reached down to scoop Catra off her stomach and spun around while holding Catra in her arms.

“Yes! Nice save Wildcat!”

“Hey, put me _down_!”

Scorpia squeezed even tighter, and Catra felt like she might vomit unless she stopped spinning her in circles. Soon enough, her feet found the ground again as Scorpia left to do the exact same victory ritual with Entrapta.

Catra looked over at Kyle. “You know, maybe if you kept your eyes on the ball you’d actually win one of these.” She laughed, watching Kyle turn red with blush.

The six of them had just finished one of their volleyball matches they held in the Recreation Center at Fright Zone every week. They were discrete about it, Dr. Weaver didn’t like it when the grad students met outside of a work setting. She didn’t say why, but it was glaringly obvious to everyone that it was because she wanted to keep them divided and easier to control.

After cleaning up any evidence of them being in the gym together, Catra rushed to the locker room to shower and see if she’d adopted any new bruises after the game.

She walked into one of the shower stalls and hung her old duffel bag on the hook behind the door.

As Catra turned the shower on and stuck her hand under the stream to check the temperature, she heard the familiar sound of the door to the locker room open and close.

The now familiar voice of Scorpia rang out against the tile floors and walls. “Catra, are you in here?”

She groaned as she stepped underneath the running showerhead and let the water weigh down her curly hair before it rolled down her back. “I’m here.”

Scorpia’s footsteps approached her shower stall as Catra stared at the tiles in front of her.

“I just...um...I wanted to ask you if you’re okay.” Catra’s entire body tensed behind the door. “It’s just, you left the gym really quickly and you had a look in your eye. You usually stay behind to make fun of everyone until they can’t take it anymore.”

Catra bit down on her lip, hard. She was grateful that Scorpia couldn’t see her so she didn’t have to hide how her body was acting. Shivers ran down her spine and she was starting to feel her chest tighten from trying too hard to control her breathing.

“Of course I’m okay, Scorpia. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Scorpia shuffled her feet and seemed to get shy all of a sudden. “Well, I know Dr. Weaver isn’t easy to work for, and I don’t know something just seemed off with you after that match.”

Something _was_ bothering Catra, but she couldn’t let Scorpia know that. She steeled herself and took a ragged breath inward to try and seem as stable as possible.

“I’m fine Scorpia, just tired. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” She hoped that would satisfy Scorpia for now, at least until she could pull herself together a little more.

Scorpia gasped in surprise. She always felt like Catra taking time out of her day to talk to her was way bigger of a deal than it should be. “Okay...I’m trusting you buddy…if you don’t find me tonight I’m gonna find you and make you talk on _my_ time!”

“I promise I will, now let me shower in peace!

Catra could hear her footsteps as she walked away and out the door of the locker room. She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the door clicked shut.

The thing on her mind wasn’t something she could talk to Scorpia about, or anyone for that matter. It was too personal, too painful. 

She had been fine this morning, and all through the game. But that last point, when Scorpia jumped to spike the ball...Catra could’ve drawn that form in her sleep. It was Adora’s. It was sloppy in a few places because of Scorpia’s lack of experience, but the resemblance was uncanny. It made her feel like her heart was rotting away right in the center of her chest.

How could she tell Scorpia that? That the way she moved reminded her of her ex-best friend and that made her feel like she was _dying_. Catra could never reveal herself that much with anyone. She’d made that mistake before, that’s how she got here. She slid down the wall of the shower until the water was hitting her directly in her face before dripping onto her knees and streaming down her back.

She couldn’t take feeling like this anymore. She _hated_ Adora, and nothing could ever change that. Ever. Tears began to well up at the edges of Catra’s eyes, immediately being wiped away by the shower and flowing into the drain beneath her. She hated Adora, and that made her stronger. The tears turned into sobs until the sound of Catra’s heartbeat pounded in her ears and just breathing became the hardest thing she’d ever done.

Less than an hour later Catra was walking home from the Rec Center, satisfied with at least a little bit of emotional release behind her so she could focus on her work.

Catra's research focused on the chemical evolution of the Moon. She’d been enamored by it since her first geology class in undergrad, and physics weren’t exactly her strong suit. Chemistry just made more sense to her.

Things have been going well lately, if you don’t count Dr. Weaver’s incessant micromanaging over Catra’s shoulder. She did well when she was self-managed, and Dr. Weaver didn’t exactly take well to being left out of any decisions, so Catra hid most of them and put her updates in weekly emails under the guise that it was under Dr. Weaver’s instructions when it was completed. That way, Catra’s advisor could feel satisfied and lay off of Catra’s back by thinking she was in control, and Catra could focus on the things she needed to do. It was a win-win scenario honestly, and she was proud of herself for coming up with it, even if it didn't fix the problems with her Dr. Weaver in the long term.

She climbed the stairs to her apartment, taking a deep breath as she entered to prepare for Scorpia’s wrath. Her plan was to make small talk with Scorpia as she made her dinner, hoping it would satisfy her for the night. She stuck her key in the lock before turning it and pressing the door open.

Her apartment was a two-bedroom, two-bathroom flat with the typical tiny kitchen adjoining a living room with windows that would have had a nice view if they didn’t face the brick face of their neighboring building. Scorpia and her had made it their home for the past few months, and Catra didn’t mind having her as a roommate. She cleaned up after herself diligently, was rarely loud, and went to bed early every night. The only problem Catra had was she _always_ wanted to talk and hang out. Part of her really didn’t like it, but another part of her realized how bad it’d be for her to not talk to anyone ever, so she was kind of grateful for Scorpia pushing her out of her comfort zone.

As she walked into the apartment, she saw Scorpia resting on the couch with her knees against her chest, looking like she was using all of her attention to type something on her phone. She was so focused in fact, she didn’t even notice Catra come in at first, which was...unusual. When Catra saw her, she felt an echo of the pain in her chest that she felt earlier that day, but she moved past it.

“Hey Scorpia, I’m home.”

“Oh hi Catra! Hold on a second.” Scorpia kept typing away, before putting her phone down on the coffee table a few seconds later.

“What’s up with you? You’re never too focused to say hi when I come in, no matter what you’re doing.”

Scorpia blushed a deep red and ran one hand through her short hair on the back of her head. “Oh gosh uh...well I started talking to this girl…”

Catra gasped, “What?!” She dropped her duffel bag on the floor by the door and ran to the couch where Scorpia was sitting. She gracefully hopped onto the opposite and crossed her legs in front of her. “Scorpia tell me _everything_!” A small part of her was happy to talk about something with Scorpia that wasn’t about earlier, but more so, Catra was actually interested. Even if she was a little more personal than Catra and didn’t have a good concept of personal space, she had grown to like Scorpia a lot and considered her a really close friend after a few months of living together.

Scorpia’s blush ran even deeper and spread to envelop her entire face. “I mean, we just started talking, we haven’t even met in person yet, it’s not a big deal.”

“It certainly _seems_ like a big deal considering how red your face is.”

At that, Scorpia couldn’t sit still any longer. She stood up and started pacing around the living room while Catra watched her from the couch, eyes locked on her.

Once Scorpia started talking, she couldn’t stop, and she was talking so quickly it was almost hard for Catra to keep up. “Okay so yesterday, I matched with this girl online. We started messaging each other and I thought we hit it off pretty much immediately. She’s super nice and kind and cute and pretty and Catra I already have the biggest crush on her and it’s only been a _day_. Here let me show you a picture of her.” Scorpia reached for her phone on the coffee table and hurriedly opened it before doing what looked like opening some app and scrolling for a second before turning her phone around and showing Catra.

“See? Isn’t she so pretty?”

The picture she showed Catra was of a tall, tan woman with long, straw blonde hair and freckles dotting her face. She was wearing a pink dress with a strap that looped around her neck and exposed the freckles that dotted her shoulders too. She had a pink flower tucked behind one ear. Certainly not Catra’s type, but definitely Scorpia’s.

Catra grinned up at Scorpia. “Sounds like you’re in love Scorpia.”

“I am not in love! I just...I just really really like her!”

Catra’s smirk grew even wider. “Uh huh. Right. Do you have a first date planned?”

“Well, about that…”

Catra raised her eyebrows in suspicion.

“She may live an hour and a half away.”

“Scorpia! You really fell in love with someone who lives an hour and a half away? Does she even live in the state?”

Scorpia’s head dipped and she got even more shy. “Well, no, not exactly…”

Catra let out a laugh and Scorpia’s head perked up. “Oh my god Scorpia. Well, what’s her name so I don’t have to just call her ‘your girlfriend’ whenever we talk about her.”

“Okay first, she’s not my girlfriend.” Catra shot another smirk at Scorpia. “I mean, she’s not yet. And second, her name is Perfuma.”

## Adora: 3 months since the start of her PhD

Adora’s bedroom was entirely dark except for the light from her laptop screen on the desk in the corner. She was staring at the screen, pressing the “Run” button on MatLab (her coding program) every five seconds or so. Each time, a different error message popped up and stopped the code from running. She reached out and grabbed her mug from the coaster and took a sip from it. Cold. Great.

Adora checked the time. About 11:00PM. She’d lost track of time the past few weeks. Everything seemed to operate on different schedules and every time she’d planned on making progress on her research by scanning samples for chemical data or experimenting on different elemental compositions, transport was delayed or rerouted and her lab equipment kept breaking. Angella was being as understanding as ever, which was great, but she was so frustrated she wanted to scream. Now the only thing she could do is run models on her computer to try and make results out of thin air, and even that wasn’t working.

Adora stood up and walked to her kitchen, following the illuminated display of her coffee maker. She poured her mug out in the sink and filled it again, making sure to actually drink some before it got cold again. She sat on the kitchen counter and pulled out her phone.

Adora

> Hey Glimmer, do you know anyone who could help me with MatLab? My code is beating my ass right now

She made sure her ringer was on and set the phone down on the counter while she cradled her mug. She was frustrated. She wasn’t making near as much progress on her research as she wanted. It felt like she was stuck in tar, but at least she understood that she needed someone’s help to get out and keep moving. Her phone let out a short text tone.

Glimmer

> I thnk perfuma is gud with matlab ! ill giv her ur #  
>  gud luck!! bow and i believe in u !

While Adora was halfway through deciphering Glimmer’s texts, another tone went off from her phone. This time from an unknown number.

> hey Adora! it’s Perfuma!! Glimmer said you were having trouble with your matlab code, do you want help troubleshooting it? i can do a video call if that works better for you

Adora added Perfuma’s contact information and immediately called her.

She answered right away. “Hi Adora!” It always amazed Adora how sing-song and cheery Perfuma seemed to be no matter what was going on.

As she croaked out a hello, it became abundantly clear to herself that she’d been locked up on her own for too long. That, combined with the 11:00PM coffee, dark circles under her eyes, and mess of blonde hair instead of the classic ponytail. It was all very telling of her current mental state.

“Oh my goodness Adora. I’m sorry, but you look...terrible. It’s worse than I thought.”

“Thanks for the compliment Perfuma.” She tried to pull Perfuma’s attention to something other than her own troubles. “How’s your semester going?”

Adora watched from her phone in the kitchen as Perfuma launched into her own endeavors. “Oh it’s been great actually! I’ve made a lot of progress on my research, and I think I’ll be able to present a poster at AGU next year, so _that’s_ awesome!”

Adora was amazed, and jealous obviously. “Wow, that’s great Perfuma. I’m so happy for you.”

AGU is the geoscience community’s shorthand for the American Geophysical Union Conference that happens in December of every year. It was the largest conference in the world for geoscientists of all breeds: traditional geologists, volcanologists, geophysicists, astrophysicists, atmospheric scientists, hydrologists, astronomers, the list goes on. It brought roughly 30,000 people together in one conference center for a week of presentations and posters about current research. It was such a big deal that most departments went out of their way to pay for their researchers to go. Everyone was there.

Perfuma started, “You know Adora, you’re really horrible at acting.”

She froze for a moment before letting her shoulders relax and sag forward. “I’m sorry Perfuma...I’ve just had a lot of trouble in my own work lately. It feels like the universe has it out for me. Especially seeing you, Glimmer, and everyone else making so much progress. It’s like I’ve hit a wall.”

Perfuma nodded in understanding. “Well Adora, we all go through things like that sometimes. For all we know, next year all my conclusions could be disproved by someone at some other university. It’s a process, and failure and setbacks are part of that process.”

“Yeah. I know that’s true in the abstract sense, but that doesn’t change the fact that things suck right now and I feel like it’s my fault that things aren’t working. I’m doing something wrong but I can’t figure out what it is.”

“Adora. Think about it this way. If me, or Glimmer, or Bow, or Netossa, or Spinnerella, or literally anyone else in the department was having trouble getting their research to move forward, would you think that it’s their fault something’s wrong or that it’s just part of the natural struggle we all go through?”

Uh oh. Adora knew what was coming. She’d walked right into it and there was no way out.

“I wouldn’t blame them...”

Perfuma rested her head on her hands. “Then why do you blame yourself, Adora? Why don’t you afford yourself the same credit that you give to everyone else?”

She winced as Perfuma said that. Truthfully, she wasn’t really sure.

Perfuma kept going. “This isn’t a race Adora, or a competition, or a job where you’ll be replaced by someone else if you slip up. All of your advisors and professors are here to support _you_ , not your work.”

Adora let go of a breath she didn’t realize that she’d been holding inside for a very long time. “Thanks Perfuma. I...appreciate you a lot. You’re great with feelings, I’m kind of envious how self-aware you are.”

“Well, that’s what years and years of therapy do for you Adora. Maybe you should give it a shot sometime. You could probably use it.”

Adora couldn’t help but laugh before she answered, “Yeah, you’re probably right. We should probably get to that code though, huh?”

Perfuma looked visibly excited as Adora walked to her bedroom and flipped her camera around to show her the code and numerous error messages displayed on the screen. Within the hour, Perfuma had corrected all of Adora’s typos as well as created workarounds for the things that were just flat out broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all can definitely see where this is going, right? Right?
> 
> Also your comments and kudos literally keep me going right now PLEASE don't stop


	5. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra begin their sophomore year, and Adora goes to a holiday party.

## September of Sophomore Year

Adora was at the library, a block away from her dorm in Brown Hall. It was a Thursday evening, and she was trying to find books about Victorian literature to cite for an English paper that was due on Monday. English wasn’t her strong suit, but she managed to make it work okay. She was so grateful that she and Catra had both finally declared a geology major, so they didn’t have to take as many random courses that Adora sucked at. Catra didn’t have much trouble with them, but that’s Catra for you.

She grabbed another book from the shelf in front of her, titled “The Use of Political Fiction and the Shock of Modernism in Defining Victorian Culture.” It hurt her brain just to read the title. She added it to the stack in her arms before moving further down the shelf.

As she tried to make sense of the titles in front of her and figure out what might be useful, Adora felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket. She freed one hand from her stack and pulled it out.

Catra

> Hey do u wanna go finish our mineralogy lab

She set the pile of books down on a free table near her and used both hands to text back.

Adora

> Right now?

Catra

> obviously

Adora looked out the window down the aisle of bookshelves that she was in. It had gotten dark in the last hour, but she still had plenty of energy. Besides, she could go ahead and check these books out then read them some other day.

Adora

> I’m at the library now but I’ll be back in a minute

Catra

> hurry up nerd

At that, Adora grabbed her stack of books and rushed down to the ground floor, hurriedly handing them over to the clerk who scanned each one and then Adora’s student ID. When they finished, she grabbed the pile, a few books in each arm, and began walking as fast as she could to Brown Hall.

Catra and Adora had decided to move into a dorm suite together this year after they became so close the past couple semesters. They both had their own tiny bedroom, but they shared a small living area and a kitchenette as well as a bathroom. For both of them, it was much more enjoyable than living in a singular dorm room without any running water or cooking supplies and sharing a communal bathroom with the entire floor. These suites were hard to come by.

After a few minutes, Adora’s elevator arrived on the third floor of Brown Hall. She passed a few doors in the hallway before coming to hers and Catra’s, and with both of her hands full of newly checked out library books, she knocked on the door with her forehead.

A moment later, the door swung open to reveal Catra’s face.

“Took you long enough.”

Adora scoffed and strode past her to set her books on the kitchen counter. “It literally hasn’t even been five minutes since you texted me.”

“I know. It’s like you jogged here instead of your usual run.”

Adora missed the message. “I was carrying a lot of books okay! Do you wanna go finish our lab or not?”

Catra walked to the couch and grabbed her backpack. “I mean, I don’t, but we don’t have much of a choice. It’s gotta get done sometime.”

Catra and Adora were in mineralogy this semester, their first geology course specifically for geology majors and not students trying to get a science credit on their transcripts. Every week, they were given a “lab” assignment, where they had to look at samples of different minerals in a microscope, draw what they saw, name the minerals, explain the different features that told them how to identify it, and list the chemical formula for the mineral. It was a painstakingly tedious process that took hours upon hours to complete every single week. As such, it was customary to give every geology major after hours access to the Geo building so they could finish their lab work when there weren’t classes trying to use the microscope room. For some, that meant trying to squeeze in time between classes, during lunch, before anyone got in the building in the morning, or late at night when everyone was gone. Clearly, Catra had found which time she preferred.

The pair arrived at the front door of the geology building within a few minutes, and Adora took the small ring of keys off her belt loop to open the door and promptly lock it behind them once both of them were inside. The dark atrium at the entrance of the building was immediately filled with bright, white light as the motion sensors detected someone entering the building. They both squinted their eyes at the sudden light, but continued walking to the set of elevators.

This was relatively common practice for both of them, and if they’d go in at 10:00PM, they could easily stay until 2:00 or 3:00AM. It really did take that long. Nights like tonight usually involved a lot of tired eyes from the both of them and snacks from the 24/7 convenience store down the street, but Adora found herself picking at her sleeve as they walked, filled with nervous energy.

Catra pressed the elevator button and the two stood in silence as the elevator approached the ground floor. Adora looked at Catra through the corner of her eye. It was nice to have her back after having to spend all summer apart from each other. They had gotten a lot closer ever since they moved in together, and Catra had even joined Adora’s intramural volleyball team called “Etheria’s Angels”. She wasn’t very good yet, but she was working on it. The two of them exchanged plenty of letters over the summer, but it wasn’t the same feeling they both got from being with each other back on campus.

The elevator doors parted in front of them to allow entry, and Catra promptly pressed the button for the seventh floor before looking at Adora.

Catra eyed Adora’s quickly unravelling sleeve and questioned her as the elevator rose, “What’s gotten into you?”

The way Adora jumped at the sound of Catra’s voice, you’d have thought she saw a ghost. “Uh…” All color drained from her face before she continued, “What do you mean?”

Catra crossed her arms and turned to face Adora, “You haven’t said a word since we left the dorm. Clearly something’s on your mind, unless you got some kind of head injury on the walk to the dorm.”

The elevator doors parted once more to open to the dark hallways on the seventh floor. Adora stepped out first. “Sorry, I guess I’m just stressed.”

Catra followed closely behind her, preparing to tease Adora once more, “ _Riiiiiight_...and what could someone who get's straight A's be stressed about?”

The blonde sophomore had never been in a situation like this before, and she wasn’t processing it very well. If she was being honest, these feelings had bubbled up once she and Catra moved back onto campus almost a month ago, and they’d only gotten worse. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but being around Catra made her anxious. That much she knew. But also she _wanted_ to be with her best friend, and felt horrible when she wasn’t. She obviously couldn’t talk to Catra about it, as that could just make things weird between them and Adora really didn’t want that. It didn’t make any sense to her, so she tried to push the simmering emotions out of sight and deep inside her.

“I’m just stressed about this paper I have due on Monday morning. That’s what I was in the library doing when you texted me. Y’know...finding books and...stuff.”

Her best friend eyed her suspiciously, “Uh huh. Well, you didn’t have to come with me. I can finish a lab by myself after all.”

“No that’s not what I mean! I want to be here, I’m just uh...stressed about it.”

Now Catra caught her, “Well then lighten up dummy! You’re no fun when you’re sulking.” She gave a light shove into Adora’s back and ran past her, breaking into a jog towards the microscope lab.

Adora was shocked for a quick moment, then started chasing her down the hallway, hoping no one else was in the building. “Hey no fair! That’s cheating!”

They raced down the halls of the building, and Adora accepted that she had no hope to catch Catra in such a short footrace when Catra had such a head start, but she still smiled as she looked at the back of her friend running down the dimly lit corridor in front of her, curly hair waving behind her and backpack bouncing as she ran.

Catra skidded to a stop in front of the door to the microscope lab and paused for a breath. Not a second later, Adora ran straight into her, knocking her off her feet and onto the ground.

“Oh my god Catra I’m so sorry! I tried to stop!” She reached a hand down to Catra where she was lying on the ground, rubbing her head.

“Jesus Adora, how does someone as clumsy as you even stay alive?” Catra reached up and grabbed Adora’s hand, heaving herself up with Adora’s help.

All Adora could do was laugh as she punched in the room’s entry code into the keypad above the handle. Her nervousness had faded away as soon as Catra had broken into a run down the halls. “Maybe you should try and be more aware of your surroundings next time, otherwise someone might sneak up on you.”

The door to the lab opened, and the motion sensor lights came on, casting the entire room into the same bright light of a grocery store, not allowing a single shadow to exist. Six tables filled the room, each with four wheeled chairs pushed underneath them. In the corner sat a tall cabinet that stretched about seven feet into the air with microscopes visible through the glass doors, and what was basically a tool chest with about ten sets of drawers sitting next to it.

The pair set their backpacks down at the table near the front of the room and strode to the microscope cabinet, each grabbing one and hauling the heavy contraptions (with considerable difficulty in Catra’s case) to the table they’d claimed. While Catra unzipped her bag and pulled the packet out that explained their lab and which samples they were supposed to look at this week, Adora unlocked the tool chest and opened the drawer containing the microscope slides of this week’s samples.

Catra read off the sheet as Adora plugged in their microscopes and settled in for the next few hours. “Okay. Samples B1 through B15...Oh god this is gonna be a long night.”

Adora reached for the slide in the box labelled ‘B1’ and set it under her microscope.

## Adora: Christmas Eve, First Year of her PhD

Every year, Bright Moon University’s Earth and Planetary Sciences graduate students held a holiday party on Christmas Eve. This year, Netossa and Spinerella had volunteered to hold the party at the house they shared outside the city. Every grad student was invited, with each of them getting a plus one to bring along, and faculty were strictly forbidden. There was a separate, end of the year holiday party that the department held after the fall semester, but this one was intended to be as stress-free as possible by keeping the advisors away.

Adora had never been to a party like this, much less where she knew and liked almost every person there. She was comfortable, dressed in a cheesy sweater she had thrifted that had a picture of a reindeer on the front with a real light-up red nose. Everyone else was either wearing something just as ridiculous or just casual winter wear, other than Mermista and her boyfriend Seahawk, who refused to dress casual for _any_ party.

Adora looked at the cards she held in her hand. Four blue cards, all different numbers. Looking around the circle, she saw that Netossa, Glimmer, and Perfuma’s new girlfriend all had two cards left.

The tall, platinum-blonde haired women slammed down one of her cards. “Uno!” She shared the ever cheerful voice that Perfuma was well known for around the department.

Netossa leaned against Spinnerella’s knees as she sat on the floor around the coffee table in their living room. “Are you serious?! How did you already get rid of all of your cards?”

Scorpia just grinned and shrugged her shoulders, “Guess I’m just lucky!” She giggled and Perfuma’s cheeks reddened at the bright sound that almost seemed out of place in the tall woman’s broad body.

Perfuma reached out to squeeze her partner’s thigh. “You’ve got this honey.” She had two cards to choose from, and a smile stretched across her entire face as she contemplated which one to play.

Netossa eyed her expression. “Don’t. You. Dare.”

Glimmer bit her bottom lip and grabbed one of the two cards. “Sorry Netossa. Uno!” A ‘Draw 4’ card landed on the table.

“Nooooo! How could you be so cruel?”

Glimmer looked too proud of herself for her own good. “Sorry Netossa, all’s fair and all that.”

The entire table laughed, except for Netossa as she drew her new cards. A minute later, Scorpia played a wildcard, securing her the game. It was unavoidable.

Adora took a sip from her can of beer as the table erupted into a mixture of boos and laughter. “Nice job Scorpia!”

Netossa interrupted, “Psh, beginner’s luck!”

Scorpia’s grin went from ear to ear. “Thanks Adora! Hopefully I didn’t ruin my chances of being invited back next year!” She turned to Perfuma beside her as she finished her sentence.

Perfuma met her eyes, “I’m sure you will be.”

Adora got up to go out on the front porch, bracing for the cold. It would be a lie to say she felt out of place at the party. It truly felt like she had finally found her family. But...she was basically the only single one of her friends now. That basically made her...she did some quick math in her head...ninth wheel? Before, her and Perfuma had bonded over their single status, but she had met Scorpia on some dating app and they made it work even though she lived out of state.

She leaned her elbows on the handrail surrounding the wraparound porch and looked out into the woods and the dark sky covered in stars. The sound of the door creaking open behind Adora made her glance back to see Perfuma on Scorpia’s arm as they walked out.

The smaller woman spoke first, “Oh! Hi Adora. Are you okay?”

Adora did come out here to get away from the party, but not specifically Perfuma or Scorpia. “No I’m alright. Join the party.”

The couple both joined Adora by the rail before she spoke up again. “It’s nice to finally meet you Scorpia. Perfuma’s been talking about you for weeks and I wondered if we’d ever get to meet in person.”

At that, a subtle pink spread across Perfuma’s face and she looked away shyly. Scorpia responded, “Y’know, I kind of wondered if I’d ever be able to meet Perfuma’s friends myself!”

“So, I heard you’re a geoscience graduate student too Scorpia. What do you work on?”

As Scorpia lifted her hand to begin her well-worn research summary, Perfuma stopped her. “Before you start, I’m gonna get us some more drinks. I’ve heard the ins and outs of Scorpia’s research a million times tonight.” She looked at Adora, “Can I get you anything?”

Adora shook her beer lightly, hearing over half of it slosh around. “I’m good Perfuma, thanks though.” Perfuma nodded, kissed Scorpia on the cheek, and turned to go back inside the house.

“Anyways, I’m a volcanologist.”

Adora’s eyes widened the size of saucers. “No way! Really!? That’s so cool Scorpia!”

She gave a soft laugh before continuing, “Haha, thanks. Basically I study subduction zone volcanoes, looking at how subducted crust can add new oceanic material to the magma and see if that causes the volcanoes to be more explosive.”

“Wow. That’s important work. I work on meteorite formation, but your research has the potential to save lives. That’s amazing Scorpia. Where are you studying right now?”

Before Scorpia could reply, Perfuma came back outside, immediately shivering as the air hit her. She handed Scorpia a glass. “What’d I miss?”

“Oh I just finished telling Adora about my work. So, nothing special.”

Perfuma looked up at Scorpia and it was clear that there was nothing in the world as bright as Scorpia was to Perfuma. “Well, I highly doubt that. Your research is _very_ special.” Scorpia bent down and kissed her after she finished her sentence.

Adora looked at them, filled with conflicted emotion. Their relationship was almost tooth-achingly sweet and they were both some of the nicest people Adora had ever met. After Scorpia met everyone tonight, the entire cohort thought they were made for each other. They fit together like puzzle pieces, or two asteroids constantly in orbit around each other.

But...they also reminded Adora of her own solitude. She had made so many friends here at Bright Moon, and she couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else. There was still a hole in her chest, even if it had shrunken.

“Adora, are you okay?” Perfuma’s voice brought Adora out of her own mind.

“Oh. Um...yeah I’m fine Perfuma. Don’t worry.” She turned back to face the forest surrounding the house.

Scorpia brought her back to Earth again, “Adora, I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but has anyone ever told you how bad you are at acting?”

A deep sigh escaped Adora’s chest as she looked back at Scorpia. “Actually, Perfuma said the exact same thing to me.”

Then, it was Perfuma’s turn to try and break down Adora’s walls. “We’ve talked about this Adora. You can’t keep everything inside all the time, you have to talk about it. What’s bothering you?”

Adora turned away from the stars and faced the couple, both of them looking at her with eyebrows knitted in concern. She took a long drink from her beer to try and loosen her chest.

“I guess it’s just...hard to be around so many happy couples. I’m not saying that I’m not happy for you two, it just makes me think of my own… _issues_.” At the mention of Adora’s ‘issues’, Perfuma’s eyes narrowed and her shoulders tightened, making Scorpia look down to her in confusion.

“What? Is everything okay?”

Perfuma broke her eyes away from Adora and flashed them to Scorpia before returning them. “Adora, is it okay to talk to Scorpia about this? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Adora gave a faint, tight-lipped smile. “No, it’s fine. It’ll probably be good for me. Scorpia, I um...when I was in undergrad, I was really close with this girl. We were best friends, but I felt more than that.” Scorpia looked on and started to understand the situation. “I didn’t want to ruin what we had, so I never told her…We went to field camp together and things went...um…”

She looked away from the two of them, and back towards the sky. “We had a fight. We haven’t talked since then. But I…” Her throat felt like it was closing up. Perfuma stepped towards her and put a hand on her shoulder.

“I still miss her. I wish we could’ve been what you two are…” Perfuma looked back at Scorpia sympathetically.

Scorpia broke the silence. “Why don’t you just apologize?”

The question was more forward than Adora had expected, her face was covered in surprise.

“I mean, you don’t have to, but if you want to make up then an apology is the first step towards that. Good friends apologize for the things they’ve done.”

Her eyes moved to Perfuma, awaiting her opinion.

“Scorpia has a point, Adora. You can try and move on and forget about her, or you can try to reach out to her again. Only you can make that choice.”

A minute passed. Adora had never considered that she had that choice. She had always been hopeless, just trying to keep breathing when the world around her was suffocating.

“I want to tell her that I’m sorry. I understand that…” She took a deep inhale of the sharp, cold air, letting it fill her chest and only letting it out once the heat of her own body had warmed it. “I understand that I want her in my life, and I’m not whole without her.” She looked back at Scorpia and Perfuma, waiting for a sign showing that she was being idiotic, but they only looked back with warm smiles and supportive eyes.

Great. Now she actually had to _do_ it. Perfuma broke the silence, “You still have her number, right Adora?”

Her eyes widened at the question. “Wait, now? Right now?”

Perfuma’s stance shifted awkwardly. “Adora, if you don’t at least send a text right now, then how will we know you ever actually did it?”

She groaned in response. Was she actually going to text Catra right now? What would she even say, _Hey I know we haven’t spoken in six months but I’ve had feelings for you since freshman year and I feel lost without you in my life_? She put her head in her hands as she was overwhelmed by the task ahead of her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Scorpia’s face.

“Sometimes, the best thing you can do is keep it simple at first. That’s the hardest part. You can get complex later. Baby steps Adora.”

She reached into her back pocket and grabbed her phone, opening her contacts and scrolling to Catra’s name.

“You can do this Adora. I believe in you.”

The number stared back at her, waiting for her decision. Adora’s mind could not stop cycling through the endless possibilities of how this could go horribly. As she envisioned how each of them could play out, she realized something. No consequence of this could be worse than what she’s going through now. 

Adora typed out her message and stared at it in front of her. Simple, but exactly what she wanted to say to Catra.

_I’m sorry._

Her eyes flicked to Perfuma. She nodded back. 

Adora took a deep, all-encompassing breath, and she sent it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right, cliffhanger baby!! Y'all have been so nice and so sweet and I appreciate it so much!!


	6. Christmas Eve Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra receives Adora's text and isn't entirely sure what to do. Adora panics as she realizes the situation she's in.

## Catra: Christmas Eve, First Year of her PhD

Catra stared at her phone. First, expressionless. Pure shock. Then, white hot anger. She tightened her grip on the cell phone as she read the notification on her screen.

DO NOT ANSWER

> I’m sorry.

Catra threw her phone across her living room and into the couch.

What the fuck? What. The. **fuck**. She had died and gone to hell. That was the only explanation for something this painful.

Who did she think she was? Texting her at 10PM on fucking _Christmas Eve_?

Catra stormed over to the couch, grabbing her phone. Seeing the message again quickly reignited the bonfire inside her chest. She started typing faster than she could think.

_who the fuck do you think you are adora???? you stop talking to me for 6 months and text me on christmas fucking eve? what the FUCK. you can’t just try and pull me back in after everything you put me thr_

She stopped typing.

Breathe Catra.

Breathe.

Catra locked her phone and sat there for a minute, processing everything she was feeling. Her hands and feet felt numb, and she thought she might throw up from her stomach flipping upside down over and over again. Should she text Scorpia?

No, she didn’t want to bother her. She was with Perfuma at her friends’ Christmas party and she’d been looking forward to it for weeks. This wasn’t worth Scorpia’s time. She knew exactly what Scorpia would do. She’d insist on driving home as soon as she heard what happened, and nothing Catra said would change her mind. She’d have to get through this on her own, like always.

Opening the Uber app, Catra called a taxi to take her to a bar nearby. All the best bars were open on Christmas Eve, and winter break kept away the loud undergraduates.

A few minutes later, Catra was dropped off at the front door of “The Beacon”, a college bar close to campus. As she pushed open one of the doors and strode inside, the place was almost deserted except for a few people spread around who looked absolutely miserable or downright pissed. As Catra scanned the room, she noticed someone at the bar. Lonnie, one of the grad students in her cohort. She decided she didn’t exactly have a better choice, and if she chose to be alone then she’d do something she regretted.

Catra strode to the bar where Lonnie was nursing a light brown drink, and sat down next to her before getting the bartender’s attention.

“Whatever the worst beer on tap is.”

The bartender looked surprised, as did Lonnie, who never would’ve expected she’d spend Christmas Eve at a bar with Catra.

“If you say so.” She turned around and grabbed a pint glass from under the counter and filled it underneath the tap before placing it in front of Catra. She thanked her.

Lonnie gave Catra a look out of the side of her eye. “Why are you sitting next to me? Remember the rule.”

“Pffft. Whatever. If Weaver actually gets mad because we’re both having drinks in the same bar on Christmas Eve, she needs something better to worry about.” Catra brought the beer up to her lips, giving it a test sip. God it was awful. She took a few gulps before setting it down, almost immediately feeling a little better.

Lonnie watched her _choose_ to get the worst beer on the menu and then practically chug it. Obviously something was wrong with her. “Are you...good?”

Catra turned to look at her with a sharp ferocity in her eyes, dulled by the alcohol. “ _Obviously_ I’m not. But I don’t want to talk about it. What the hell are _you_ doing here?”

Lonnie turned back to the bar in front of her. “I don’t know. Where else am I supposed to go?” She took another sip of her drink.

Catra took another big gulp of her beer, already starting to feel it pulse through her bloodstream and dull her thoughts. She realized that she hadn’t eaten much that day, so she was in for quite a night. Whatever. “Yeah, I feel that. Why can’t we have department Christmas parties?”

She looked at Lonnie, expecting an answer, but Lonnie just looked back at her with a confused look. “What are you talking about?”

“You know, holiday parties! Everyone wears stupid, cheesy sweaters and drinks and plays board games and all that. Scorpia’s at one right now with her _girlfriend_ and her friends.”

“Is that why you’re here drowning yourself in shitty beer? Because you want to have a...Christmas party? And you’re jealous of Scorpia?”

Catra looked back at Lonnie before she dropped her head onto the bartop and talked into the glass. “No...Although that’d be nice I guess. It sounds nice…”

A pause. Catra could feel Lonnie’s questioning eyes on the back of her neck. She raised her head back up and finished her beer. “An old friend texted me tonight for the first time in half a year.”

One of Lonnie’s eyebrows raised. “When you say ‘old friend’, do you mean an ex? Because you’re acting like an ex texted you.”

The glaze over Catra’s eyes disappeared momentarily as she glared at Lonnie. “She’s _not_ my ex. She was just a friend.”

## Adora: Christmas Eve, First Year of her PhD

Adora stared at her locked phone on the handrail of the porch. She was cold out there, but the raw anxiety inside of her kept her from feeling it too deeply.

Perfuma’s hand lightly rested on her shoulder. “Adora, you should come inside. It’s freezing out here and you should be with your friends. I’m sure she’ll reply soon.” Perfuma’s smile seemed genuine, and Adora knew she only had her best interests at heart.

“Thanks Perfuma, you’re an amazing friend. And Scorpia, you’re pretty great too.” Adora looked over to her, where Scorpia returned one of the brightest smiles she’d ever seen. “Alright, let’s go back inside.”

Perfuma and Scorpia led the way back into the warm glow of the party, with Adora following behind at a distance with her head on a swivel, looking for Glimmer to tell her everything.

Adora and Glimmer had a policy of telling her everything. Normally, that just meant whenever mundane frustrations happened that they couldn’t tell their advisors or fellow students about. Today, it was different.

Glimmer and Bow had gathered on the living room side of the kitchen counter, watching Netossa and Seahawk play Wii Bowling while sipping on their drinks. Glimmer saw Adora first and waved her over.

Adora dodged behind Netossa and Seahawk to try and get to her friends without getting hit with a controller or be in the way of either of them. She was in too much of a rush to worry about blocking the screen for the spectators as she tried to get through the crowd. Her stomach was a buzz and her mind was racing. She _needed_ to talk to Glimmer. Had she made the right choice? What did Glimmer think Catra would say? Did she think she would even reply?

Glimmer took another sip of her drink before greeting Adora. “Hi! You look like you just saw a ghost, are you okay?”

“Glimmer I um...I need to talk to you right now. In private.” She looked over to Glimmer’s boyfriend as she finished, “Sorry Bow. I promise it’s not personal.”

He laughed out loud at that, “Don’t worry Adora, I understand. Just let me know if you need anything.”

Glimmer looked at him before her gaze shifted back to Adora. “Adora, do I haaaaave to? There’s a Wii Bowling tournament going on and I don’t wanna miss it.”

Adora suddenly grabbed both of Climmer’s arms and she finally gave away her sense of urgency. “Glimmer, it’s _Catra_.”

Oh shit. Code red. Glimmer’s face drained of any reluctance and she looked at Bow. He looked back at her and knew exactly what was going on.

“Go. I’ll cover for you.”

Glimmer gave Bow a quick kiss before saying, “Thank you. We’ll be back.” At that, she grabbed Adora’s hand and ran upstairs, practically dragging her along and into the bathroom at the end of the hallway. She shut the door and locked it behind her. Adora immediately sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

“Adora what happened? Are you okay?” Glimmer kneeled in front of Adora, looking into her eyes in an attempt to ground her and bring her back home.

Oh, was she okay? Where did she even begin? Adora took a moment to try and gather herself, failed, and tried again. She felt like she could barely breathe. 

“So, I went out on the porch earlier, after the UNO game.” Glimmer kept her eyes on her, trying to figure out where this was going. “While I was out there, I was thinking about...her. I wished she and I were together here just like everyone else is so happy with their partners.”

Glimmer knew better than to interrupt Adora in moments like these. She needed to spill out everything on her mind, and they could talk about the intricacies later.

“And, after a couple minutes, Perfuma and Scorpia came out there. Perfuma asked if I was okay and I mean...obviously I wasn’t. I told Scorpia the basics of everything, how I knew this girl in undergrad and hid my feelings from her, and then we got into a fight at field camp. That’s all I said.” Glimmer nodded in understanding. “So, Scorpia asked me why I didn’t just apologize to Catra, because that’s what good friends do. In the moment, I thought she made a good argument. Perfuma agreed with her.”

Adora felt her face grow hotter and hotter as she talked. 

“So I…”

There was a long pause.

“I texted Catra.”

As she finished her sentence, Glimmer’s jaw practically fell to the floor, stunned. She looked at Adora in pure shock, and struggled to put herself together for a minute and Adora sat impatiently on the edge of the tub.

Glimmer finally regained her composure, “W-What did you say?”

Adora pulled out her phone to show Glimmer the message herself, only feeling a twinge of pain when she saw there were no new notifications. After pulling the message up, she flipped her phone around.

“Wow. Adora, that all happened really fast.”

She covered her face in her hands and spoke through them, coming out muffled. “I knooooow. I feel so stupid! Why the hell did I do that?”

Glimmer calmly interrupted her, “No, I think this is a good thing.”

Adora brought her face up and looked at Glimmer in confusion. “What? How could this possibly be a good thing?”

Glimmer stood up and sat on the closed toilet seat before continuing. “I mean, think about it. You want Catra back in your life, right?”

“...Yeah.”

“And is there any way that’s gonna happen if you don’t reach out to her?”

“I mean, maybe. Who knows?”

She looked at Glimmer for reassurance, but found her looking back with a face that simply said, ‘you’ve got to be kidding.’

“I know it’s scary Adora, but you’ve got to have hope. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Adora’s mind began racing a million miles an hour, imagining all the ways in which this could go badly. “What if she was starting to forgive me and now that I texted her she hates me again?”

“And how does that make any sense at all? You apologize and that makes her even more mad?”

A deep, sorrowful look from Adora met Glimmer’s eyes. “You don’t know her like I do, Glimmer.”

A minute passed in silence before Glimmer stood up from the toilet and reached down towards Adora, hand outstretched. “C’mon Adora. I think if you come back to the party and just hang out with us instead of tearing yourself apart over this, you’ll feel a lot better.”

Adora looked up from the edge of the tub, trying to decide if Glimmer was right. Part of her wanted to sulk, waiting for Catra’s reply, but another part of her realized that she should take Glimmer’s advice. Besides, going back to the party would at least help pass the time a little faster. “Okay. But I could use another drink.”

Glimmer’s eyes sparkled as she couldn’t help but laugh, “Alright deal, Adora! Let’s go get you another drink and meet back up Bow and the others. Maybe we can even get you signed up for the Wii Bowling tournament!”

When the two arrived back downstairs, Bow was waiting at the base of the stairs talking to Spinnerella about their mysterious disappearance, “Oh, I mean...they just um...Adora was feeling a little sick! Glimmer’s taking care of her!”

As Adora began walking back downstairs, Spinnerella called out to her, “Oh Adora! Are you feeling okay? Bow told me you felt sick.”

She tried to draw attention away from her puffy eyes, “Oh yeah, but it totally passed! Don’t worry about me! Haha!”

“Um...okay...Just let me know if you need any meds and I’ll grab some for you.” Spinnerella turned and returned to the tournament in the living room. Adora and Glimmer made it down the rest of the staircase before Bow whispered just loud enough for only the two of them to hear.

“Adora, are you alright?”

She answered him with a smile. “Yeah, thanks for covering for me Bow. I’m gonna get another beer though, it’s gonna be a long night.”

## Catra

Sarcasm dripped from Lonnie’s voice. “Riiiiiight, of course she’s not. You definitely seem like a person who would drink herself into a coma on Christmas Eve because a ‘friend’ texted you.”

Catra returned to her with her eyebrows furrowed in accusation, but didn’t quite have the energy to fight back.

Lonnie took another small sip from her glass before continuing, “So what’d you reply with?”

“I haven’t texted her back.”

The casual teasing from Lonnie immediately shifted to shock. “You haven’t replied?! Why not?!”

“I wouldn’t know what to even say! And I wanted to ask Scorpia for advice because she’s better at these things than me, but she’s at some party and I don’t want to bother her, so I was going to wait until she got back in a couple days.”

“You’re kidding me Catra. You’re not going to text your ex back-” Catra shot her a furious stare, but didn’t stop her. “-for a few _days_ , when she’s the one who texted YOU on Christmas Eve? You do realize she’s probably doing the exact same thing as you right now, right? No sober, happy person texts their ex on Christmas Eve.”

Catra turned the idea over in her head. She still wanted to talk to Scorpia first to make sure she said the right thing. At the very least, she didn’t want to make anything even more painful in this situation. And if she knew anything about Perfuma, she would never let Scorpia even get close to her car keys if she had had anything to drink.

“Fine, I’ll at least text Scorpia and tell her what happened.”

Lonnie turned away and faced the bar again. “Thank god. Now get out of here.”

Catra began calling an Uber on her phone before stepping up from her seat. She struggled to get the words out of her throat, but she could feel something shifting in her. “Thanks Lonnie...Um, if you need anything, you know my number.”

She looked at Catra with a grin spread across her face. “Don’t get all sentimental on me now, Catra.”

## Adora

Back inside the party, laughter and celebration was still going strong. Everyone was gathered on the couch, a few chairs, and all around the floor. Spinnerella had rejoined Netossa, and Seahawk was watching Mermista set up the next Wii game. “C’mon Bow! You’re up!”

He ran over and started getting himself acquainted with the controller and going through some exaggerated stretches. 

Perfuma and Scorpia sat in the back corner of the group, with Scorpia’s arm around her partner before she jumped at a buzzing sound. She reached into her pocket and pulled her phone out.

Catra

> hey my friend from undergrad texted me out of the blue and Im not sure what to do  
>  don’t you DARE leave perfuma’s party though

Scorpia showed her phone to Perfuma, whose eyes widened in realization. Adora watched Perfuma say something to Scorpia in a hushed voice that she couldn’t hear, but she looked concerned. Scorpia replied, looking confused. As she did, Perfuma sat straight up from Scorpia’s lap, her tan face drained. She looked around the room, and when she met Adora’s eyes at the doorway to the living room, all time seemed to slow down to a crawl. What was really only a few seconds felt like hours.

Perfuma grabbed Scorpia’s hand and pulled her across the room with the most determined look on her face that Adora had even seen. Clearly, something was wrong. More than wrong, something terrible happened. But why was she coming to Adora?

“Adora. We need to talk.”

“What? I just got back-” With Perfuma’s free hand, she pulled Adora out into the night’s cold atmosphere for the second time that night.

When they made it outside, Adora snapped her arm away from Perfuma’s grasp.

“ **What** is going on Perfuma?”

“Um...Adora...will you tell Scorpia the name of your _friend_ who you texted earlier tonight?”

Scorpia looked from Adora to Perfuma, “Um, I’m not sure what’s going on. What’s happening Perfuma?”

Perfuma seemed almost impatient. It wasn’t normal for her. “Just. What’s her name Adora?”

Adora stammered for a minute before speaking, “Um...Her name was Catra.”

Scorpia’s confused expression flashed to surprise, then guilt, before moving her attention to Perfuma again. “Wait. That’s got to be someone else. There’s no way that’s the same person.”

“What? What’s going on?!” Anger started to creep into Adora’s voice. Normally she had more control, but when it came to Catra, her emotions had a habit of getting the best of her.

Scorpia started to backpedal. One step backwards, then another before Perfuma stopped her by placing a hand on her back in an attempt to keep her calm.

“My roommate...my roommate’s name is Catra.”

Adora started pacing at that point, incapable of keeping her emotions under total control. “Whe-Where did you say you studied again, Scorpia?”

“...Fright Zone University.”

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The shock of learning the position she was in made her stumble backwards and into the railing of the porch, rattling the wooden beams securing it.

Perfuma shouted out. “Adora! Be careful! We’ll figure all of this out, I promise.”

The panic set in. Adora was losing control, feeling her vision restrict until all she could see was Perfuma’s worried expression. She was suddenly acutely aware of the alcohol swirling in her bloodstream. “Oh my god. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.” Adora’s hands grabbed each side of head, trying to calm herself down and keep her head from flying off her body.  
.  
Scorpia cautiously stepped forward. “Adora. I’m sorry this turned out this way, but I’m here for you. I’m going to call Catra, and I can see how she’s feeling right now. You can do this. In fact, this is actually great news! I can tell you all about Catra and how she’s been this year.”

Adora looked at Scorpia from her place by the railing, suddenly realizing that Scorpia probably knew _everything_ that happened between the two of them. Suddenly, she wanted to vomit.

“Don’t worry Adora. Catra’s only talked about you a few times.”

Oh, that made her feel _so_ much better.

Scorpia realized what she’d said. “I mean...she doesn’t talk about her feelings much. You know what I mean?” Adora did know. The ache in her chest grew more painful.

“Okay, I’m not helping here. I’m sorry Adora. I’m going to go call her and see if I can get a read on how she’s feeling, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Adora nodded. She didn’t have the energy to do much else.

Scorpia stepped off the porch and into the front yard, pulling out her phone and calling Catra.

The familiar, scruffy voice answered on the other line. “Heyyy! Aren’t you like, at a party with you _girlfriend_? Why the hell are you calling mee?” Uh oh, Catra’s been drinking.

“Hi Catra, I just...um...I wanted to talk to you about the text you sent me.”

Her words continued to slur, seemingly getting worse as the emotional subject was brought up. “Ohhhhh. Riiiiiiight. Yeah, Adora texted me earlier. What the fuck, right? Why would she do that?”

On the bright side, drunk Catra seemed a lot more level-headed than sober Catra. “Right um..are you okay, Catra? I know that’s like, a big deal.”

Catra paused before speaking, “Hmmm. Good question. At first I was pissed, but then I got some drinks and I was like, ‘well maybe I should give her a chance,’ y’know? I still wanna punch her in the face but like...an apology’s better than nothing, right?”

Scorpia started sweating. “Right, um. Yeah I totally agree. I have to tell you something though Catra. Adora...Adora’s at Perfuma’s party. She’s...she’s here.”

Catra practically screamed into the phone. Scorpia instinctively moved the speaker away from her ear and looked over to Adora and Perfuma on the porch, who were definitely able to hear the frightening noise coming from the phone. She gave them both a thumbs up.

Once the noise quieted, Adora dropped her head in her hands. “This is a disaster. I’m sorry I ruined the party for you and Scorpia.”

Perfuma set down next to her. “You didn’t ruin anything Adora. We’re both just happy to be here for you. I’m sorry this all got so messy, but remember. You don’t have to do anything alone.”

“Perfuma I’m...I’m scared. I don’t know if I can do this. I know it’ll hurt, and I accept that, but I don’t know if it’s right to make Catra relive all of this again.”

“There’s only so much you can control, Adora. The best thing you can do is chase what you want. You just have to see this through. I know you can do it.”

Adora wasn’t so sure. But she’d give anything to try and make up for everything that happened.

Scorpia climbed the steps up to the porch. “Hey so...Adora. Catra said that she’s...willing to give you a chance. I think? She was pretty drunk, and she hung up before I could get any clear answers. But…”

Adora looked up at Scorpia.

“Catra’s on her way here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so none of you worry, Catra isn't driving herself because that would be STUPID!
> 
> Also, next chapter or two is gonna be about field camp so get READY!


	7. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra set off for field camp and they're feelings for each other have complicated ever since graduation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright y'all, strap in for this because it's gonna be a bumpy ride. Also, imagine this camp taking place in the Appalachian Mountains because yeah
> 
> Also, if you missed my last note about field camp, it's basically a graduation requirement for geology students in the United States where small groups of students spend a summer in the wilderness practicing all the things they've learned in their courses

## May, After Graduation

Catra watched a plane being taxied onto the tarmac of the gate she was sitting by. Her carry-on bag sat in the seat next to her as she sipped on an energy drink and waited for Adora to come back from the bathroom.

She couldn’t believe it’d been four years since she’d started her freshman year and met Adora. Four years, and here they were. Still...just friends.

“Catra look!” She turned away from the window to see Adora shouting at her and walking with that stupid smile that took up her whole face.

When Adora made it back to her seat beside Catra, she held out her hand. Inside it, there were two miniature rock hammers attached to two keychains. Adora picked one up and placed it in Catra’s palm.

“It’s for your keychain! Just a little souvenir to remind you of field camp when this is all over.”

Right. When this is all over. Catra closed her fingers around the keychain and looked back over the tarmac.

Adora reached down and picked up Catra’s carry-on and set it on the ground between their legs before sitting in the seat herself, trying and failing to meet Catra’s stare.

She rested her hand on Catra’s thigh before speaking at a volume just high enough to be heard over the rumble of the airport. “Are you okay, Catra?”

Catra refused to turn and face Adora when she spoke.

“Catra.”

Her eyes shifted to the right, only slightly, but it was enough to see Adora’s soft, caring, bright blue eyes staring back at her, trying to get in. Catra could only keep herself closed off for so long before Adora always broke in. She was the only person who could do that to her.

“I guess I’m still upset.”

Adora’s eyes flickered to the ground, and she pulled her hand away.

“Not at you, dummy. I just...I know it’s not your fault we didn’t get into the same graduate school, but I’m still upset about it.”

Adora took a deep breath in before responding. “I know...I am too. But hey, you’ll only be an hour and a half away from me!”

Catra looked back at her with a half-smile, appreciative of her attempts at seeing the silver lining, even if it didn’t solve the problem.

She kept going. “And besides, we’re about to go to _field camp _! We’ve been waiting years for this and it’s gonna be so much fun! Let’s just enjoy ourselves.”__

__Less than an hour later, Catra and Adora had boarded their plane that would take them to their field camp’s host university. From there, all the students and the professors on the camp would drive six hours east until they hit the mountains. Both of them had been grateful to find a camp that was in the mountains instead of the desert, so at least they wouldn’t be sweating their asses off this summer._ _

__After getting into the mountains, the campers would get off the interstate and start taking backroads for another hour until they reached their first campsite of the summer. This was the most furnished place they’d be staying until they got back home, and they were supposed to get their safety, first aid, and basic mapping training done there over the course of the first week. From then on, they’d be hiking from barebones campsite to barebones campsite, centered around significant geologic formations that the professors had planned ahead of time. They’d make short stops in small towns to pick up food about once a week, but other than that, the group would be alone for five weeks beginning on June 1st._ _

__Catra settled into her seat by the window and watched Adora approach the aisle to join her. The blonde woman had slowly grown more confident over the years since they met, in her own body as well as in her own mind. She’d also filled out her own body, burning away any baby fat she had left on her body and turning it into hard muscle._ _

__As Adora lifted her carry-on bag to place into the overhead compartment, her  
T-shirt lifted up the tiniest bit, to where the skin just above her waistline was revealed to Catra._ _

__The brunette immediately turned towards the window. Suddenly, she really wished she could get up and run out of the plane._ _

__

__After putting away her carry-on, Adora sat in the seat next to Catra. “What are you looking at?”_ _

__“I’m just...trying to remember it as best as I can. Once we get back, we’ll have to move away almost immediately.”_ _

__Adora dipped her head before speaking up. “All we can do is focus on the now. We’re gonna have a great time Catra, I know we will.”_ _

__Truth be told, Adora had been dreading this trip. Things had been somber in their apartment ever since they realized that they couldn’t go to grad school together, but Adora was trying her best to keep them both from sliding into a spiral. She wanted their last long stretch together to be special._ _

__As she leaned her back against her headrest, she resigned herself to the fact that she’d try her best to sleep on this plane ride, but she wouldn’t succeed. Adora was stressed. Yes, about meeting so many new people that she’d have to spend weeks with, but even more so, about Catra. For the last few months, she thought Catra had started being...flirty? If that’s even what you could call it. She still teased Adora incessantly, but it all felt different somehow. She guessed it was more of a hunch than anything, but still. She’d known her own feelings for Catra for years, but never expected her to feel the same way._ _

__The worst part of it was that she almost _wanted_ Catra to say something, but she didn’t think they could make it work. Especially with them both moving away soon. And after turning it over and over in her head for weeks on end, Adora had come to the heart wrenching decision that it wasn’t worth the risk. She valued Catra too much as a friend to lose her. So...the plan was to get through this field camp and onto the other side while still being best friends. Then, they’d be in the clear, as much it hurt to say it. Although, it had become increasingly difficult for her to resist responding to Catra. Whenever Catra got flustered, she would push even harder. When she looked at Catra, time stopped and she couldn’t keep the smile off of her face._ _

__Three hours of intermittent napping on the plane ride later, they landed in a new town and got lunch at the airport’s food court before calling a taxi to take them to their host university’s campus where they’d meet everyone before setting off in the school’s vans. It was about two in the afternoon when they arrived and introduced themselves to the other campers and the professors._ _

__Catra couldn’t believe it, they really had to do an icebreaker? What are they, 12? “My name’s Catra. I’m from Etheria University and my favorite rock is anorthosite.” She looked over to Adora, signalling her that it was her turn._ _

__“Oh! I’m Adora. I’m also from Etheria University and I guess my favorite rocks are...chondrites!”_ _

__Their professor, a white-haired woman named Razz who must have easily been older than 70, looked at them in what seemed like silent judgement. “Oh, I see we’ve got two planetary girls this year. I hope I can keep you entertained.” Adora froze, fearing that she’d already gotten on the bad side of her professor who she had to spend the whole summer with. Razz paused before breaking out into laughter, “Oh ho I’m just kidding girlies! Nice to meet you. Now keep going, we wanna get to camp before tomorrow don’t we?”_ _

__About 30 minutes into the drive to the mountains, Catra fell asleep without a word. As she did, her head fell onto Adora’s shoulder. She didn’t have the heart to wake her up or move her. Catra looked so peaceful when she was asleep, nothing weighing on her mind like during the day._ _

__“What’re you smiling about back there?” Razz’s shrill voice broke through the silence. Adora realized that the other four campers in the rows behind Adora had fallen asleep too, and that embarrassingly, she was _smiling_ at Catra as her head lulled onto Adora’s shoulder and the faintest sound escaped from her lips, almost a purr._ _

__“Um.” Adora tried to deflect Razz, but her blush betrayed her. “What do you mean? I wasn’t smiling. I don’t do that.”_ _

__Razz’s eyes met Adora’s through the rear-view mirror. “Uh huh, right. Of course not. Who smiles these days?” Her eyes returned to the road, but Adora suddenly became as rigid as a statue, acutely aware that her smallest movements were being analyzed by their...field camp professor._ _

__They both slept the rest of the drive, occasionally one of them waking up to look out the window and see the pine trees winding past and the roads get less and less paved until they were driving on a path covered in grass that would have been unrecognizable if not for the trees lining the sides and opening a way for vehicles to come through. About an hour after the sun had set, the van stopped at a grass clearing that hosted a firepit and a water spigot next to it._ _

__As the vehicle lurched to a stop, the pair was shaken from their uncomfortable naps._ _

__Adora spoke first, fog still over her thoughts, “What’s going on? Are we here?” She looked around at the campsite, lit only by the headlights of the vans and the stars overhead. “Catra we made it!”_ _

__Catra brought her head up from where it’d been pressed on the window and looked around, confused, “Wait, this is the nicest campsite we’re staying in all summer?”_ _

__The campers began unloading their bags from the trunk of the van. They had been instructed to bring with them a single-person tent or a double if they were there with a friend, which wasn’t uncommon, as well as a sleeping bag, geologic field supplies, and a million different sets of layers since weather could change at the drop of a hat. At the moment, it was a brisk summer night in the mountains. Warm enough to wear a t-shirt and shorts, but cold enough to wear you’d get shivers whenever a breeze blew through the clearing._ _

__Razz’s voice broke through the drone of cicadas that had taken up residence in the woods, “Alright everyone, set up your tents and come meet around the campfire when you’re done!”_ _

__Adora grabbed the two-person tent that she and Catra had planned on sharing before turning to Catra with it tucked under her arm. “Where should we set up camp?”_ _

__Catra looked around, hands on her hips, surveying the clearing and pointing to the edge of the gathering of tents that began appearing. “Put it over there.”_ _

__Adora whipped her hand up to her forehead in a salute before briskly turning around and walking to the place that Catra had pointed out._ _

__“How did you make it this far when you’re so annoying?”_ _

__The blonde ponytail that rested on the back of Adora’s head whipped around and called back, “Years of practice!”_ _

__She turned back to the trunk of the van to finish grabbing the rest of her stuff. Catra’s mind was all over the place. She’d fallen into Adora’s orbit these past few years, and of course everything had been leading up to this. Field camp...stuck in a tent in the woods with Adora for five weeks straight. If she was being honest, she was a little nervous. A weekend road trip or separate bedrooms in their apartment was one thing, but this was...this was sleeping a few feet away from her for weeks and having almost no contact with the outside world through all of it._ _

__At that point, there was no use in denying it. If she didn’t at least admit it to herself, she’d spend these last precious few weeks confused and flustered instead of savoring the time she had left with her. She wanted to be more than friends._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOO! ANGST!! This field camp arc will at least take up one more chapter, maybe two, so be patient with Catra coming to crash the Christmas Party in Bright Moon, I promise it'll pay off!!!!! Sorry this chapter's a little shorter than the last two, I have a busy day today but I didn't want to leave y'all hanging after that last chapter. I PROMISE the next one will be extra long to make up for it and extra tasty too
> 
> Edit: just realized I made Catra a moon lesbian without even realizing it, and I stand by that


	8. Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra finish up their field camp, coming out on the other side filled with scars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning, there is some light NSFW content in this one y'all so

### Second Week of Field Camp

It had been a week since the campers had arrived at the the first stop of their campaign into the mountains, and to any normal person, the stench they were putting off would have been unbearable. But after a week of no one at camp having a shower, they’d all gotten tired of trying to fight it off and got used to the smell until it wasn’t noticeable anymore.

All of them had also reviewed the basics of geologic field mapping: drawing stratigraphic columns, correlating outcrops, and taking strike and dips (except for Adora, who always got confused when using the Brunton compass).

“I’m just saying, it’s unnecessarily complicated!” Adora threw her hands in the air as the campers walked along the trail, having left behind their first campsite that morning.

Catra marched behind her, watching her ponytail sway back and forth above her hiking pack as they walked. “Y’know Adora, just because you’re not good at something, doesn’t mean it’s too complicated. Maybe you’re just bad at it.” She let a grin cover her face as Adora crossed her arms and pouted in front of her. Adora always hated it when she wasn’t good at something immediately, it was kind of cute.

Catra’s eyes widened in shock at her own train of thought. God, that thought had come way too easily for her to be comfortable with. She couldn’t get in the habit of that, openly thinking Adora was _cute_. Who was she? Doing field camp with Adora had definitely been a bad idea, it was getting harder and harder to keep those thoughts at bay.

They’d spent a week in the wilderness, so today they were planning on stopping in a trailside town to pick up more food. Adora was already imagining the chips and sports drinks she was going to buy. She didn’t realize how much she was going to miss junk food until the option to have it was stripped away from her.

A few miles into the day’s hike, just as the Sun hit its zenith and started to raise the heat, a road with what looked like a small grocery store appeared out of the trees.

Razz called from the front of the single-file line as she saw it, “We’re stopping! Everyone meet back here in thirty minutes and don’t get clobbered trying to cross the road!”

The group broke formation, with some campers heading towards the store while some sat down and took a break around their meeting point.

Adora turned around to the sound of Catra’s voice calling her, “So what’s the plan princess? Are you gonna come to the store with me or are you gonna make me go alone?”

Of course she wanted to go stock up before they left civilization for another week. Even more so, she wanted to stay by Catra’s side...even if she had promised herself she wouldn’t get too close. But...it was probably fine, right? I mean, how crazy would Catra have to be to try and pull a move on her at field camp? Adora wasn’t even sure if Catra felt the same way about her as she did about Catra. She was freaking out over nothing. This was going to be the only time in her life she’d ever be able to do this. So, she was going to savor it.

She met Catra’s eyes, “Of course I’m coming, dummy. Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve been saying since we got here?”

Catra smirked at the response, “Well, we’ll see if you can keep up.” At that, she broke into a run down the slope to the side of the road with Adora close behind.

Thirty minutes later, they were back on the trail and each of them were eating out of the saltiest, greasiest bag of chips you could find.

As the sun continued to heat up the day, the comfortable summer air of the night totally faded into a blistering, humid blanket that covered all of them. They continued hiking, sweat building up even as the campers shed layer after layer of clothes trying to fight off the heat. Catra watched from her place in line behind Adora as she took off her backpack and held it in one hand, while taking off her T-shirt with the other and moving the pack from hand to hand to get it all the way off until she was left with her sports bra and a pair of shorts. With her eyes, Catra traced the defined lines of muscle down Adora’s rigid shoulders to the center of her back until they met her hips and disappeared beneath her shorts. Then, all too soon, Adora returned her pack to her shoulders and covered herself from behind.

Catra huffed. She’d seen Adora without a shirt on before, obviously, but...they’d grown in the last few years. Physically and mentally. Adora and her were women, both 22 years old and (practically) graduated from college. They’d be PhD students in a couple months. Things were...different now. In more ways than one.

Most of the conversation on the trail had stopped as a result of the increasing temperature. Luckily, they arrived at their campsite before nightfall. Adora had always been the one to set up their tent whenever they went camping, and Catra was more than happy to sit back and watch her take initiative to do something she hated. In a few minutes, she had their camp set up and sleeping bags rolled out inside. Adora stood outside the tent flap and flashed a proud smile at Catra sitting on the ground watching her work.

The sun set, but the heat didn’t leave with it. It stuck around the campsite and exhausted the campers until they went to sleep without their nightly campfire gathering that they’d established. 

Catra opened the tent flap after filling her water bottle and before bed and saw Adora, facing away from her, reading a book under a glowstick she had apparently cracked. It was just bright enough to see the words on the page and the silhouette of Adora’s shoulders against the green glow. Adora had kept her T-shirt in her bag the entire day, never quite getting cool or dry enough to warrant putting it back on, and she certainly wasn’t about to do it now that they were about to sleep.

Catra started to zip the flap closed, before Adora jumped at the sound.

“Oh! Catra you scared me!” She rushed to close the book and hide it inside her sleeping bag.

“Sorry. What’re you reading?”

“It’s nothing, haha. I was just going over my notes since tomorrow is our first day of actual mapping. I just can’t wrap my head around it.”

She watched as Catra crawled to her sleeping bag and started to climb into it lazily while talking, “Well, I guess you’re lucky I’m your partner. I can do all the measuring and stuff and you can draw the maps of everything. Easy.”

Adora gasped, “You’re a genius Catra.” As Adora looked at Catra a few feet away from her in the dim light, she noticed the wet spots grouped around the armpits and neckline of the shirt she was wearing.

“Catra, are you wearing that shirt to bed? It’s still wet from sweat. I knew you were gross but not that gross.” Adora let a giggle escape from her as she finished, watching Catra’s face turn the faintest shade of pink in the green glow emanating from the glowstick.

“I didn’t want to change okay? Gimme a break!”

Adora tilted her head in question, “Why don’t you just take off your shirt? It’d be better than sleeping in sweat all night.”

Catra’s eyes widened, surprised at such a direct question from someone as avoidant as Adora.

Adora realized what she’d said, and started to backpedal. “I mean-I...you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pressure you!” God how could she be so stupid? She lets her guard down for one day and she already fucks it up!

“Oh my god Adora calm down!” She looked up to see Catra’s usual smirk with her hand open and outstretched.

She was confused. “Um, what?”

“Gimme the glowstick.”

Adora reached behind her and grabbed the green stick before placing it in Catra’s palm. “Uh...why?”

She watched Catra tuck the glowstick under her sleeping bag, immediately pulling the tent into total darkness. The rain cover was on in case of unexpected weather, so they didn’t even have the stars to light the inside of their tent.

Before she could say anything, Adora felt something hit her face. Something...wet.

“Oh my god Catra is this your _sweat covered shirt_?!” The only response to Adora’s question was the carefree laughter breaking out of the girl next to her. She continued after throwing the wet shirt to the side, “Wow. And you always say _I’m_ the gross one.”

Soon enough, the laughter inside the tent died down and silence fell over them, other than the sounds of nature outside and Catra’s deep breaths. Adora had began counting them whenever she couldn’t sleep. Now, it didn’t help much. All that stayed on her mind was Catra’s tan body, laying a few feet away from her.

### Third Week of Field Camp

This was the campers’ biggest day in the field so far. They were given an assignment to split up into pairs and characterize 4 different outcrops before correlating them and their stratigraphic layers so that the layers matched up. Catra and Adora had shifted into a well-oiled machine once the assignments actually started, and this was no exception. They had stuck to their agreement of Catra taking measurements of the outcrop and Adora drawing the columns and maps that they’d eventually present at the end of the camp, and it was working considerably well.

Adora held up her field notebook as they walked and shoved it in Catra’s face, “Catra look at my strat column! It’s so pretty!”

Catra pushed the notebook out of her face before responding, “Adora, only you would call a strat column pretty. I’m just glad you prefer doing that instead of taking strike and dips and measuring grain sizes.”

The blonde-haired camper laced her fingers behind her head and gave Catra a grin, “Well I’d take drawing pictures over staring at a compass or a ruler and yelling out numbers anyday.”

Catra raised a finger to object, “Hey, at least my work is done once we’re done out here.” She poked Adora’s chest. “ _You_ have to try and make sense of everything we’ve written the past few weeks.”

It was the middle of the third week of field camp. Everyone, including Catra and Adora, had finally gotten used to hiking miles on end every day and getting in the groove of field work. From then on out, it should be smooth sailing as the camp wound down. In the last week of camp, their days would be filled with going over past notes and drawings to try and bring together a cohesive map to turn in before they left.

Adora scoffed. “Psh, I can understand my own notes. It’s yours that are indecipherable as soon as you write them!”

The sun was a deep red in the evening sky as they walked into camp for the first time since morning. When the pair crossed the threshold into the clearing, they saw it at the same time. A volleyball net had been tied between two trees, and sand had outlined and filled a court where there was simply grass and dirt a few hours ago. Razz stood by it, talking to a few of the other campers that had returned from a day in the field. She waved to Catra and Adora, calling them over.

The friends looked at each other in shock and incomprehension before starting the walk towards the now familiar Razz.

“Hello dearies! Welcome back to camp.”

Adora broke herself from the shock she felt, “Razz...how did this volleyball court get here?”

Razz looked confused. She glanced from Adora, to Catra, and back to Adora. “I thought you loved volleyball?”

Catra interceded, “No! I mean, we do. I think what Adora means is...how did this court get here when it was just grass this morning?”

Razz winked once at Catra, then again at Adora. “Let a woman keep her secrets, dearies. Now, I heard some other campers wanted to play. I’ll let them know you’re back.” At that, she turned around and walked away.

Catra and Adora stood stunned for a moment, not knowing what to make of what happened. Then it hit Adora. She reached down and wrapped her arms around Catra’s waist before picking her up. “ **Catra!** We’re gonna play volleyball tonight!”

Thirty minutes later, Catra and Adora were on the other side of the net from a red-haired girl named Sweetbee and a blue-haired boy named Peekablue. They were both generally well-rounded and had average builds. Adora and Catra felt confident in their ability to win this, even if they were a little rusty.

First serve went to Adora. Being used to indoor courts, she played it safe, hitting the ball overhand from right outside the court’s boundary. It sailed across to the other side effortlessly, with Sweetbee stooping down to receive and send it straight to Peekablue for the first spike of the game.

As he jumped into the air and spiked the ball with a surprising amount of force, Catra was forced to dive into the sand to keep it from impacting and giving the other team a point. It bounced off of Catra’s forearms, arcing into the center of the court where Adora got a running start and, as best as she could, attacked the ball with _that_ form that Catra knew so well by now. It sailed over the net and into the sand at the court’s back corner for the first point.

Adora reached down to help Catra up, “Nice receive!”

“Thanks. This won’t be as easy as I thought.”

Ten minutes later, the score was tied, 8-8. They were trying to make it to 10, and you had to win by two points or more for it to count. It didn’t look like it was ending anytime soon.

Adora was doubled over, hands resting on her knees, trying to take deep breaths after a particularly long volley. She wasn’t used to jumping in sand, it took a lot more of her energy than hardwood did.

She glanced to the right to see if Catra was having as hard of a time keeping up as she was, and saw her raising her T-shirt up to just under her breasts, and tying a knot in the back of it to keep it in place as she played. Sweat was just beginning to bead on the front of her abdomen, rolling down until it met the waistband of her volleyball shorts. Adora’s eyes naturally followed the curve of them, tracing Catra’s outline with her eyes and unconsciously taking an extra long time on her thighs.

Catra’s voice interrupted her, “Hey!” Adora’s head snapped up, eyes wide and cheeks red. “You caught your breath yet, or am I gonna have to carry you to the end of this game?”

Adora straightened her back and took a deep breath, trying to keep Catra’s shape out of her mind. “You wish! You wouldn’t have a chance without me.”

Catra took her place at the front of the net before bending forwards in front of Adora and glancing backwards. “Riiiiiiight. Just try and keep your eyes on the ball, _okay princess_?”

Adora almost choked. She didn’t have a chance to process what just happened before Peekablue sent a serve right at her. She struggled to back up and receive it properly, but Catra dashed forwards to pick up the slack and get the ball back over the net. Now they were ready.

The relaxed pass over the net gave Sweetbee the chance to spike the ball without having to receive it first, but Catra suddenly appeared right in the path of the spike when it seemed like she had been on the other side of the court only a second before.

With Catra passing her the ball, Adora responded better, moving in relation to it instead of trying to force it to go where she wanted. It flew into a tall arc, allowing her to time her impact perfectly and approach it with care. As her open palm hit the ball, it rocketed into the side of Peekablue’s arm and went flying to the side and into the sand. 9-8.

Catra got to serve this time. She set up at the back of the court, trying to get a read on Peekablue, Sweetbee, and...Adora. What was her game plan?

She lobbed the ball into the air, hitting it squarely when it was just within reach before stepping onto the court again. The ball landed in Sweetbee’s arms, bouncing over her head and just to the right of Peekablue. He dove into the sand and lobbed the ball just over the net and onto Catra and Adora’s side before standing back up and readying himself.

As Catra ran beneath to the point of impact, she shouted, “Adora!” and rolled to the side after barely getting one hand on the ball.

Now was their chance. They could finish this with one good spike from Adora. She watched the ball flying through the air, seemingly weightless and floating as she measured where and when her feet should impact before she jumps.

They were all tired from the summer heat and the long day of work behind them, but it almost seemed like Adora grew in height and build as she approached her target. Catra watched as she did what she always did on match points, when they needed to win the most. Her jaw set, eyes calculating in fractions of a second. Each step through the sand on her approach almost seemed to shake the ground underneath her, and once she stopped running, her feet matching each other in a single space, she leaped into the air with more power and height than anyone would expect when they saw her. Every time Catra saw it, she sat back in awe, not worrying about having to be ready to receive again or not. She knew Adora wouldn’t miss.

When Adora’s open palm made full contact with the ball, it seemed more like she grabbed it in midair and forced it to obey her will instead of merely slapping one side of it. It soared through the air, barely touching the top of the net as it passed over and struck the sand in front of the stunned Peekablue like a meteor hitting Earth. 10-8.

The moment ended, and Catra felt the normal progression of time return to her as Adora landed back on Earth with the hard, focused determination replaced by that goofy grin she always wore when they won.

### Fifth Week of Field Camp

Adora stepped out of the tent that she and Catra had been staying in for the final few days of camp. She’d spent all day compiling all the notes they’d taken since they arrived at camp and attempting to draw one cohesive geologic map that detailed the inclines of rock layers, dips of the mountain side, rock types, and geologic ages across the mountain range they’d travelled, spanning around 100 miles of forest.

She was relieved to finally finish the last assignment of the camp, but it was a bittersweet feeling. Tomorrow, her and Catra were leaving, bound for different schools in different cities in different states. The thought devastated Adora, who could no longer imagine sleeping in a room without Catra by her side. Despite all beliefs that it wasn’t possible, she’d gotten even closer to her as the weeks went on. She couldn’t help it. Catra’s pull was too strong for her to overcome, even if she had wanted to escape it.

As Adora left the tent, it was a couple hours past dark. She could see the nightly campfire roaring with some of the campers around it, including Catra, who was sipping on a can of beer and laughing while talking to Sweetbee. Adora saw the pure joy on Catra’s face, lit by the warm glow of the fire in front of her. She felt something inside of her chest be kindled at the sight. She tried to snuff out the flame, but then Catra turned and saw her, standing in the dark.

Catra smiled at her, the fire dancing in her eyes as she gazed at Adora and beckoned her to join them in the circle.

It was their last night there, Adora thought. She should let herself enjoy it.

Returning Catra’s warm smile, she walked towards the group. She sat down on the ground next to Catra legs, leaning her back against the turned-over log that her friend was sitting on. Peekablue grabbed a can from the cooler filled with beer that they’d all chipped in for to celebrate the end of the camp. “Do you want one?”

Adora looked up at him from staring at the fire at her feet. “Yeah, why not.” She grabbed the can out of his hand and popped it open before looking up at Catra. “Cheers. For finally finishing undergrad.” Catra and her clinked cans before everyone started making sure no one was left out from the toast in the circle.

Catra laughed. “Ha, good riddance.” She took a large gulp from the can subtly shifting her legs to the right until they touched Adora’s left shoulder.

Adora felt an electric shock come through her shoulder and surge into her toes as she took a drink herself, almost spitting it out and embarrassing herself in front of everyone. She stayed frozen, trying not to move so that she wouldn’t scare Catra away.

Eventually, after desperately drinking two cans to try and calm herself down, Adora relaxed and settled into the campfire. They all shared stories of back home, laughing about things that had happened at camp, including when Catra woke up to a squirrel in her tent that Adora had to herd outside.

The night sky filled with innumerable stars and a bright full moon, not being hidden by any clouds on their last night. Everyone was grateful to get one last look at them all before they had to leave for their light-filled cities where you had trouble seeing even the brightest stars above. Adora had begun to feel herself dozing off at the campfire, comforted by the warmth in front of her and the friends around her.

Catra shook her leg as Adora’s head fell into her lap. “Are you seriously falling asleep already? And sitting on the ground of all places?”

Adora opened her eyes to see Catra looking down at her, playful grin on her lips. She felt her butt ache from sitting on the hard, packed dirt for so long and stretched her legs out in front of her to try and wake her limbs back up. “Y’know, not everyone has the energy of a 5 year old who just ate an entire box of chocolates.”

Catra looked up and into the distance. “Yeah, well not all of us are starting to be old geezers like you.” They both laughed, realizing how dumb they sound after a few drinks. Catra returned her gaze to Adora on the ground beside her, “There’s a creek nearby. I think I’m gonna go wash off before bed.”

“Yeah you probably should, you smell like dirt and body odor.”

“Riiiiiiight. Says the person who _also_ hasn’t bathed in 5 weeks and is falling asleep on the ground right now.”

Adora’s eyes narrowed as she looked back at Catra. She felt that familiar glow in her stomach as she looked into her blue and yellow eyes. “Mind if I join you? To make sure you don’t like, drown or something?”

Catra stood up from her seat on the log, causing Adora to slip a little to the side after her headrest was suddenly taken away. “I guess you can come, but only if you think you can keep up.” She started to walk away, leaving Adora in the dust around the fire as the group of campers looked at her confused.

“Oh-sorry! We’re just gonna get ready for bed! We’ll see you all in the morning!” She hurried to get her feet under her and hurry after Catra, realizing how this probably looked to their classmates.

Adora caught up with her friend as she passed the treeline encircling the clearing that they’d set up camp inside of. Catra was following a lightly trodden trail leading downhill, Adora on her heels.

“Oh look, I didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep up.” Sarcasm practically dripped from Catra’s lips as she called over her shoulder towards Adora. She felt the blonde knock into her shoulder and join her at her side.

“You’re a little too full of yourself, you know that?” She watched Catra’s eyes roll over to her, eyelids half closed in an emotion that Adora had trouble reading.

“Hmm. Maybe someone should take me down a peg then.” Before Adora had a chance to reply to Catra’s comment, the woods opened up to a wide, calmly flowing river in front of them. Stars dotted the surface, seemingly revolving around the Moon’s presence in the dark water. There was a small, sandy beach along the water, and Catra passed by it, taking her shoes off and dipping her feet into the river. Fireflies hovered over the landscape, blinking dull yellows across the river and through the trees all around them. Adora drank all of it in awe from the treeline. 

Catra called out to her, “Are you coming or do I have to hold your hand through everything?”

Adora stared at Catra, her back to the water and the Moon’s glow as she walked forwards. The fire inside her glowed brighter. “I just..it’s beautiful. How did you know about this place?”

Catra watched her as she got closer, wide-set shoulders swaying in warm night air. “Oh, Sweetbee told me about it. Apparently her and Peekablue found it a few nights ago when we set up camp.” She watched Adora’s face as she looked up and down the river, eye’s wide and her lips gently spread apart into a small ‘o’ shape, like she was trying to figure out how a place so magical could exist. Catra broke her trance, “Alright, turn around. Gimme some privacy.”

Adora’s mouth snapped shut as she looked at Catra in realization, then embarrassment before turning to face the woods again. “Right, sorry!” She heard Catra’s light-hearted laugh behind her as she tried to focus on something other than the sound of rustling clothes and the soft thud of them hitting sand before Catra spoke to her.

“When are you gonna stop apologizing for everything?” The sound of footsteps into water hit her ears, causing goosebumps to raise along her arms and legs. “Alright, you can turn around now.”

She turned to face Catra again, first seeing Catra’s head and bare shoulders out in the middle of the dark blue river, ripples from her movement seemingly emanating from the Moon’s reflection in the water. The next thing she saw was the pile of clothes in front of her: Catra’s shorts, T-shirt, socks, and shoes in a neat stack along the water’s edge.

Something in the sight aroused something in Adora, as she acted without thinking. “Alright, now it’s your turn. Close your eyes!” Catra raised her hands to her face with a smirk. She couldn’t believe it was happening. Adora was following her into the river with nothing to protect them from each other except the water that held them.

A minute later, there was a soft voice a few feet away from Catra, “Hey Catra.” She opened her eyes to the vision of Adora in front of her, her ponytail gone and bright blonde hair the color of the Sun cascading onto her broad shoulders and splaying out in all directions once it reached the water’s surface.

Catra felt her face glow with heat as she looked at the woman who she’d had feelings for and was best friends with for over four years look at her with such...adoration. Adora’s eyes slightly wrinkled at the edges and a soft smile that raised her cheeks as if Catra was the only thing in the world that mattered.

Adora inched closer to Catra’s body standing in the deep water, feeling herself pulled by some invisible force towards her. Adora felt like she was glowing with heat, lighting up the water and air around her, enveloping Catra in it. As they approached each other, they both began to see more and more clearly into the water around their bodies. Adora’s sharp collarbones suddenly appeared to Catra, and Adora began to see the faint curve of Catra’s torso. Neither of them could tear their eyes away from the other’s, fireflies flickering on and off in the background of their faces and the sound of rushing water in their ears, dulling the entire world around them except for their faces mere inches away from each other.

Adora felt a gentle hand brush just above the curve of her hips, and another wrapped around the back of her neck before she knew what was happening.

She felt the soft pink of Catra’s lips against hers, pressing hard like she was trying to breathe her in. The glow that Adora had been feeling all night quickly shifted into a bonfire as she grabbed Catra by the waist and pulled her in closer, getting drunk on the feeling of Catra’s chest pressed against her own.

Catra knew this would rile up Adora, but she never expected _this_. It was like she’d been waiting years to finally kiss her, and now that she had the chance, Adora was savoring every single second. Catra felt one of Adora’s calloused hands run up from where she held her at the waist and snake up her torso and between her breasts before it stopped just inches away from Catra’s exposed neck.

Adora stopped moving.

Catra pulled away and looked into Adora’s open eyes, confused. What was that look? “Adora, I...are you okay?”

Tears welled up at the corners of Adora’s eyes, but she didn’t say anything.

Catra started to panic, not knowing what was going on. “Oh my god I’m sorry. I should have asked. Fuck-”

Adora interrupted her spiral. “No. Catra.” She took a deep breath as she stepped out of the arms she was melting into only seconds before. “No, I’m sorry. We shouldn’t.” Catra looked at her in silence. Every word felt like a knife being shoved into Adora’s heart. “I’m sorry. I...I didn’t want things to turn out this way.” No, that wasn’t what she meant. This _is_ what she wanted, she was just afraid to become something more only to lose Catra in the process.

Catra watched Adora as she stumbled over her words, only realizing that tears had begun rolling down her own face and falling into the water that surrounded them. She didn’t understand. Adora...but everything said that Adora wanted Catra just like she wanted Adora. But...now she said that she didn’t want this. The sound around Catra dulled and she felt a biting cold fill her from the toes upwards, until she was numb all over.

Adora looked up from her sputtering to see Catra’s face, heartbroken, with tears soaking her cheeks and eyes twisted in confusion and frustration. Adora reached out to her before Catra slapped her hand away and back into the water. “ **Don’t** touch me!” She started walking to the shore, not caring about the air she was exposed to as she raised herself out of the water.

“Catra come back! That’s not what I meant!” She watched from the water as Catra grabbed her clothes on the shore and walked into the woods, not looking back. She ran onto the beach and put her own clothes on as fast as she could manage before chasing after Catra.

An hour later, there still wasn’t a trace of her anywhere.

Adora went back to the camp, where the fire had faded into dark charcoal and the party was over. She grabbed her sleeping bag from their tent and wrapped in around herself before sitting in the middle of the clearing.

She stayed awake until the buses started loading, and even then, there was still no trace of Catra. 

Everyone was packed up and ready to head back to town when Adora seriously started to get worried. She found Razz and told her that Catra had gone missing last night and that she couldn’t find her anywhere.

“Oh dearie. I don’t know what happened between you two, but I’m sorry. She found me last night and told me that she had her own ride home, so that she was leaving. I tried to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen. She gave me this.”

Razz handed her a folded piece of paper. She opened it slowly, afraid of what she’d find inside.

_I’m sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say that I could've written an entire chapter of yearning for every single day they were at field camp but y'all will just have to deal with this heartbreak instead. Seriously this hurt so bad to write so I hope it gets the same reaction out of y'all.
> 
> We're done with flashbacks now!! Time to PROCESS that trauma!!
> 
> (Also I channeled my hatred of strike and dips through Adora this chapter and if you want to understand that hatred, here's a 15 minute video of the concept and how to do it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwBVztOz2No&t=568s)


	9. Facing Her Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra finally gets to the Bright Moon University department Christmas party, and tries to confront Adora, but she quickly realizes that she can't bring herself to hate her anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god thank you ALL for giving this fic so much attention, tbh I was never expecting it to get anything other than a few hits. Just know I see every single comment and I love interacting with y'all and I would die for you

## Catra: Christmas Eve

Outside of the speeding car, white flecks of snow had begun to fall on the roads that wound away from Fright Zone University and towards whatever the night held in store for Catra. The events of tonight had developed a little more quickly than she had expected her Christmas Eve to go. She was planning on staying home, probably drinking a little more than she should, and falling asleep watching some stupid Christmas movie in a pathetic attempt to ‘get in the spirit’. But look how things had ended up. One minute she was jealous that Scorpia had a Christmas party to go to with her girlfriend, and the next minute Lonnie was driving her out of state to some house in the mountains. 

Catra looked over to the driver’s seat, where Lonnie sat with her right arm resting on the top of the steering wheel and the other propped up against the door, resting her head on a closed fist. In a pathetic attempt to distract herself from the events in front of her, Catra spoke up, “I still can’t believe you were drinking a virgin cocktail alone in a bar.” She chuckled, “Who does that?”

Lonnie glanced away from the road for a moment, “You’re one to talk y’know. You should be trying to get on my good side since I’m doing this for you.”

That backfired. Catra turned back to the snowflakes gently coasting against her window and sliding past them into the wind.

Lonnie kept at it. “You sure this girl isn’t your ex? Because she _definitely_ seems like your ex and you just don’t want to admit that a hardass like you has feelings.”

The rage that Catra felt when Scorpia called her and told her that Adora was at her party had dulled since they’d left Fright Zone, along with her intoxicated state, but she felt a gentle surge again as Lonnie prodded her. “And why did _you_ feel the need to drive me here anyway? You could’ve said no.”

“Well, we may be similar in a lot of ways Catra, but at least I can admit to myself that I’m not cold all the way through. Can you?”

Catra didn’t want to answer that question. She tried to focus on the road ahead of them, but all it did was remind her of what lay at the end of it. Adora’s stupid face.

The drive up to the Christmas party was hard for Catra. Every fiber of her being wanted to hate Adora, yell at her, make her hurt as badly as Adora had hurt her. But every time she tried to conjure up the searing hot rage that she wanted, it was suffocated by the thought of Adora.

The thought of Adora falling asleep with her head in Catra’s lap at camp. The thought of Adora talking about how much she hated taking strike and dips. The thought of Adora trying to convince her to join a volleyball team. The thought of Adora lying in their tent under a lunar eclipse.

God, Catra felt like she was going to vomit just thinking about it.

As the two of them exited the highway and began navigating the streets outside of Bright Moon, the snow that drifted down to the ground started to fall faster, lining the busy streets and thinly covering the slow ones.

Catra felt a pit in her stomach, “Hey Lonnie. Maybe we should turn around.”

“Are you serious? We’re literally five minutes away. It’s safer to keep going than to turn around, and you’re not getting out of this that easily.”

Her temper flared up again. “I am **not** trying to get out of this!”

Lonnie smirked. “Riiiiiight. So have you rehearsed what you’re gonna say to your ex?”

“Lonnie I swear to god if you don’t shut up right now then I’m gonna jump out of this car and it’ll be because of you.” Catra crossed her arms and slumped in her seat. She had rehearsed it, matter of fact. Not that Lonnie needed to know that. First, she was going to tell Adora how selfish and unsympathetic she was for leading her on for four years only to reject her. Then, she’d go off on her about how she had the _nerve_ to ruin her Christmas Eve and how horrible of a friend Adora had always been. Then, she knew Adora would try and apologize, but she’d tell her to save it and then get back in the car with Lonnie and drive back home. 

The car took a sharp left turn onto a dark street, only having the headlights of Lonnie’s car to guide themselves out of the snowdrifts that’d begun to form on the side of the road. At the end of the road, Catra could see a house with red, green, orange, yellow, and blue string lights lining the gutters and front porch, casting the front yard into a warm glow. The lights were on inside too, even though it was late, with people moving around behind the windows. Catra thought it was a beautiful house, one that felt like friends and comfort. Not like any of the houses surrounding Fright Zone University.

As Lonnie and Catra followed the road further, it hit them. The house at the end of the street was the party they were about to crash. Not only was this the only house on the street with any lights on inside, but Catra could see a form sitting in a chair on the front porch.

There she was. Adora, blonde ponytail pulled tight with a quilt wrapped around her as she looked out at the street, watching the car approach.

Catra readied herself. She focused on the anger, the rage, the _hurt_ that Adora had left her in. She felt warmth spark in her chest, threatening to take over entirely and engulf her in flames.

Lonnie pulled the car into the driveway and put it in park before looking at Catra. “Ready?”

Catra opened her eyes and without saying a word, nodded. She opened the passenger side door and brought her eyes up to the porch.

Adora stood from her chair, gentle smile plastered on her face.

As Catra brought her eyes to Adora’s, and saw that familiar, dumb smile, her fire flickered and was snuffed out. The rage, the anger, it was all gone. All she felt inside her were dead coals, burnt out and blackened.

Adora’s attention shifted from Catra as she saw a woman get out of the driver’s side.

Wait, what? Who is that? Did Catra have a girlfriend?

Her spiral of panicked jealousy was interrupted by the crunch of snow underneath Catra’s old tennis shoes as she walked towards Adora, standing at the top of the steps leading up to the porch. 

All three of them were silent, snow falling all around their bodies and a starless sky above their heads.

Adora was shocked. She knew Catra said she was coming and she had prepared for her arrival, but part of her had refused to accept that she was actually going to see Catra again after her disappearance six months ago. Catra was a light, and Adora had the chance to bring her back into her life again. She knew what she wanted this time.

The first steps are the hardest, that’s what Scorpia had said.

Adora reached out to her, “Um. Hi, Catra.”

Catra’s heart stung at the words. She tried to light the coals again, start the raging fire and make Adora hurt, just like she had. But she couldn’t, no matter how hard she tried. There was no white hot rage in her anymore, only the dry, empty feeling of a hole left unfilled in her chest.

Lonnie broke the tension in the pair’s gaze, awkwardly butting in, “Sorry I’m just uh...I’m gonna give you two some privacy.” She practically ran past Adora and into the house, closing the front food behind her before they both heard the sound of muffled talking inside.

The silence between them had grown unbearable. And the look on Catra’s face, it made Adora’s heart tear in two. She wanted more than anything in the world to walk down these stairs and wrap her arms around Catra, feeling her sobs in her shoulder and protecting her from the world.

Catra’s voice cracked as she spoke, using sheer force and averting her eyes to hold back the tears she’d kept at bay for so long, “Why, Adora? That’s all I want to know, and then I’ll leave.”

Adora’s own eyes became wet at the sound of Catra’s voice. She never realized how much she’d missed it.

“Catra I...I’m sorry. For _everything_. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

The blue and yellow eyes Adora had known for so long shifted towards her again, intent. “Then **why**? Why string me along like that only to push me away in the end?” That’s when the tears finally made their way through Catra’s walls, freezing cold on her face as they fell.

Adora froze, realizing how Catra took their night in the river last summer. “Catra, I never wanted to lead you on! I just…” She wasn’t sure how much she should say. She wanted to tell her everything, especially how she still felt about her, but what if that just pushed Catra away even more? “I was afraid of losing you. I-I thought that it would be safer to be friends with you.”

Catra’s disappointed face shifted to frustrated, angry almost. “Well, I guess you were wrong. I’m gonna get Lonnie and we’ll leave. I don’t want to make things _unsafe_ for you.” She spat the words at Adora, dripping with venom and intent to hurt as Catra approached the stairs and began to walk past Adora.

Adora’s arm reached out and grabbed Catra’s wrist, tightly wrapping her rough fingers around her.. She turned to see Adora’s eyes desperately pleading with her.

“ _What_?”

Adora’s grip tightened as she spoke, “Please. Stay. I need you Catra.”

Catra’s expression softened as she heard those words. The words she longed to hear six months ago, but never did.

Was it too late for another chance? Could she expose herself to Adora like that again, knowing the same thing could happen?

She stuttered, being too indecisive to keep Adora from bargaining for more time. “If not for me, do it for yourself. The snow isn’t going to let up anytime soon. It’s not safe. You can sleep in the guest room here.”

It wasn’t until that moment that Catra realized how heavy the snow was falling now, on the brink of becoming a full blizzard. She watched as it fell behind Adora, being softly lit by the house’s light and showing that Lonnie’s car was already half a foot deep in white powder.

Dammit. How had she gotten herself in this situation?

She looked from the snow showering down off the porch and then back to Adora before coming to a decision. “Fine. But this isn’t because of you.”

It wasn’t what Adora had hoped for, but it was something. At least they had more time now. Adora accepted that victory, “Do you want to come inside? Most everyone has left, but Scorpia is still here. Here.” She handed Catra the quilt she had wrapped around her.

Catra now realized just how poorly prepared she’d been for this, wearing sweatpants and tennis shoes with a hoodie on top. She ran warm, but not warm enough to keep the cold at bay tonight. She snatched the quilt from Adora’s hand before wrapping it around her shoulders. “Whatever.”

Adora gave her _that_ smile, the reassuring, caring smile that made it hard to keep Catra’s walls up. But she sure as hell was going to try.

The door to the living room opened, letting the heat from inside spill out into the night air. On the couch, trying not to seem like they were listening to the whole conversation, were Scorpia, Perfuma, Netossa, Spinerella, and now Lonnie. Adora stepped in first, waiting for Catra to take a deep breath and follow her through the threshold before shutting the front door.

Catra’s eyes immediately shifted to Scorpia, who gave her a short wave before Adora cleared her throat, “Um. Hey everybody, this is Catra. I don’t really know who that is,” she pointed at Lonnie, “but she’s with Catra. They’re uh...gonna stay with us tonight since the storm picked up.”

All eyes on her, Catra suddenly became very aware of her wet cheeks and red eyes, “Thanks for letting us stay. I appreciate it.”

Silence filled the room, threatening to swallow Catra if she wasn’t careful.

She broke the silence again, trying to escape. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Spinnerella, tender and welcoming as always, greeted Catra with a smile. “It’s upstairs and down the hall, sweetie.”

Catra broke away from the circle in the living room, climbing the stairs with the quilt still tightly wrapped around her body to give her another layer of protection.

Scorpia stood up from Perfuma’s side with an apologetic smile flashed at Adora and then Perfuma, “I should probably go make sure she’s okay.”

At that, Scorpia left too. She climbed the stairs and left the Bright Moon cohort staring at Adora with a million questions as Lonnie watched knowingly from the corner.

Netossa, not blessed with the gentleness that Spinnerella was, got tired of the questions hanging in the air with no one asking them. “So, who _is_ that Adora?”

Adora raised her hands as she prepared to answer, but Lonnie beat her to the punch. “She’s her ex-girlfriend, basically.” Netossa nodded in understanding before Adora had a chance to defend herself.

“She’s not my ex! We were...we were just friends okay? Just, really close friends.”

Netossa turned from Lonnie to Adora, “Y’know, what you two are going through would make a lot more sense if you were exes instead of friends. I’m just saying.”

Adora groaned in frustration, but part of her was happy that so many people thought they had dated. It was validating, in a weird way.

Then, she saw Lonnie again, sipping on a drink in the corner of the loveseat. The jealousy rose up in her again. “Okay, who are _you_ anyway?”

Lonnie laid back in her seat, sipping her drink with a smirk that she knew was getting under Adora’s skin. She was having fun with it. “Oh, we’re just friends. No big deal.”

As Adora stared daggers at Lonnie, Catra appeared and dashed down the staircase behind her and towards the door, Scorpia lagging behind at the top of the stairs.

Adora’s panic set in, not realizing she was chasing after her friend until both of them were already outside in the freezing cold.

Catra’s breath was heavy, intent on making it to the car, not caring if she had the keys or how hard the snow had packed the road leading up to the house.

Desperation lined Adora’s voice as she yelled through the snow, “Catra wait! Where are you going!?”

Catra didn’t answer, she didn’t even hear Adora. Not really at least. She regretted coming here. Every second made her want to claw her chest open. She didn’t want Adora’s apologies, she didn’t want Scorpia’s pitiful sympathy, she just wanted things to be normal.

In the dark, sinking to her knees in pure white, Catra fumbled for the car door handle that she had trouble seeing in the dark when she felt something grab her hoodie from behind.

She turned to see Adora, just as disheveled as her, eyes gentle again. She had nothing but worry in her eyes and Catra **hated** it.

Adora spoke softly through the wind. “Catra please. Don’t leave.”

As Catra stared into her eyes, Adora swallowed the knot building at the back of her throat, trying to find the words she’d been wanting to say ever since Catra came here, but was too afraid to.

“I...Catra I’ve always wanted you. Always. Ever since I saw you lost I’ve missed you every. Single. Day. I’m sorry for what I said back then, and I’m sorry for not letting you in. It wasn’t about you, it was about me and my issues. I couldn’t let myself chase what I wanted. But now, I will.”

The pit in Catra’s stomach pulled open wider, threatening to tear her apart.

Adora kept going. “I know nothing I say will fully make up for what happened, and you don’t have to forgive me. I just...I want you to know the truth. And I want you in my life.”

Catra watched her, the woman she’d known for half a decade, sputter over an apology that took her six months to say out loud. Adora, the woman she’d been closer with than anyone in her entire life.

She couldn’t keep her walls up anymore. She couldn’t let that pit consume her and her life. She felt them tumbling down, faster than she could control and much faster than she’d like.

Catra’s voice choked as she failed to hold back the hiccups that were the early sign of her deep, gut wrenching sobs.

She couldn’t help herself, she wanted the comfort that Adora could give her.

As the tears started to flow, she let herself fall into Adora’s arms. Sobs bursting forth through the dam she’d been building for so long, finally releasing. It hurt her to feel like this, but she wanted it so badly. She’d craved it for months, even if she couldn’t admit it to herself.

Adora caught her as she fell, wrapping her arms around her and pulling the quilt tighter to keep Catra safe against the snow starting to build up in her curly brown hair.

She kept her arms loose, not wanting to suffocate Catra at the first sign of forgiveness.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe Catra.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a little longer than the last ones, it's been a crazy week for my own _actual_ job!!!! (Yes I'm a geology researcher too don't worry about it)
> 
> Also YES of course they're snowed in, who could've seen this coming????


	10. Talking in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra catch up in the late hours of the night and face the reality of what they're in for.

Adora’s eyes focused on the miniature hammer clipped to Catra’s keyring that was currently resting on the coffee table a few feet above where her bed was for the night. She wondered if it’d been there the whole time, since she first gave it to Catra. Did she tear it off after she left, or could she have just put it back on earlier tonight? Or, even worse than both of those possibilities, did Catra even see it as a piece of Adora? Maybe she just saw it as another cool keychain, with no story or emotion attached to it.

Adora sat up on the floor of Netossa and Spinnerella’s living room, trying to get her bearings in the dark. She checked her watch. It was 3:23AM on Christmas Day.

She was filled with restless energy after the day’s roller coaster of events and couldn’t even come close to falling asleep. After Catra and her returned from outside for the final time that night, Adora refused to leave Catra by herself in case she needed her again. But, Catra was silent the rest of the night while Adora helped gather blankets and pillows to try and make her as comfortable as possible in their new sleeping arrangements.

At the moment, Adora was on the living room floor. She insisted. Catra was on the couch next to Adora’s bedroll, and Lonnie was on the other side of the coffee table in her own couch. Scorpia and Perfuma were in the guest room while Netossa and Spinnerella were in their own bedroom. 

Lonnie’s snores filled the otherwise quiet house that they all shared until the snow had cleared enough for them to go home. Adora was pretty sure that Catra and Lonnie were only friends, but it gave her a small sense of guilty satisfaction that they were sleeping so far apart.

As Adora sat up, looking at the keychain in front of her, a voice whispered from behind her.

“Are you seriously still awake?”

Adora almost screamed at the sudden voice filling her head before she recognized the sound. She turned and saw Catra’s tired face propped up on a pillow looking at her with eyes half-closed in exhaustion.

Adora’s heart skipped a beat before she whispered in her direction, “Jesus Catra, you can’t scare me like that. I almost screamed.”

Maybe it was Catra’s physical and emotional exhaustion messing with her head, but she actually held her iconic mischievous grin in response to scaring Adora. It’d been too long since she’d seen that.

Adora didn’t want to stop talking. “Did I wake you up?”

Catra’s eyes were locked onto Adora’s with a hint of the delirium that comes with fatigue behind them. “No. I can’t sleep either.”

At that, Adora wasn’t particularly surprised. Catra was a notoriously silent sleeper and often had trouble sleeping at night. She definitely fell asleep in class a lot in undergrad. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

Catra rolled over to look at the ceiling, pulling away from those blue eyes that she’d gotten used to seeing only in her memories.

“I didn’t want to talk.”

Ah. That tracks. Adora shifted in her seat, starting to get uncomfortable. She tested the waters.

“Do you...want to talk now?”

She heard Catra take a deep inhale, then slowly let the air out in a tired sigh.

“Only if it’s like we used to talk.”

Adora racked her brain to try and figure out exactly what Catra meant by that. In all honesty, Catra didn’t fully know either. She just didn’t want to end up in tears for the third time that night. The way they used to talk was...complicated.

Adora couldn’t help but smile a little at the prospect of talking about something so mundane. “Tell me about Fright Zone. What have you been doing the past few months?” She started to lean against the coffee table behind her to get more comfortable while she looked at that wild brown hair, messy against the pillow they’d brought to the couch. She tried to read Catra’s face, tried to understand exactly what she was feeling, but it was hard in the dark. Even with the dim glow of string lights outside the front windows, Adora’s eyes couldn’t see fine details very well.

Catra’s whisper sounded hollow when it came out, a pathetic attempt at trying to keep the conversation from getting too personal. “It’s been good.”

In response, not like Catra was even looking at her, Adora raised one incredulous eyebrow. “Really? You started a PhD this year and all you have to say is that it’s good?” She let herself take a chance for once and lightly punched Catra in the shoulder, just like she used to.

That got Catra’s attention, pulling her eyes away from counting the dots on the ceiling and staring wide-eyed at Adora’s face a few feet from hers. She was grateful that she was so tired, otherwise she may not have been able to stop herself from getting mad at Adora again. Now, she just felt a familiar comfort.

Catra took another breath, psyching herself up to unload everything that’d happened since she started her program at Fright Zone University when Adora’s voice broke the silence once again.

Adora’s face looked at her in the dark room, eyebrows pulled back in an understanding look that Catra hadn’t seen in...a long time. “You can say anything to me Catra. We’re all going through it. It’s natural to struggle.”

“I’m not struggling, okay? I’m _fine_.” A silent moment passed between them, except for Lonnie’s snoring in the background, before Catra realized what she was doing. “I just...my advisor is a bitch.”

Now Adora couldn’t help but giggle a little before covering her mouth and trying to push it back down. “Ahem. Um. Sorry. Keep going.” Seeing Adora was still the same girl she knew in undergrad definitely made Catra feel better, about everything really. She wasn’t tougher or more serious, she was still goofy and awkward and dumb in her own special way.

“Her name’s Dr. Weaver. Apparently she’s known for being horrible to her grad students.” She looked at Adora and saw the concern stitched across her face. “I’m fine, really. I’m dealing with it.”

Adora made a note that she’d have to ask Catra more about that later, when things weren’t as tense. She shifted the subject. “Are you doing lunar evolution? I know you always wanted to.”

She couldn’t help but blush at the question, and thanked a higher power that it was dark and Adora probably couldn’t see how she reacted to her remembering Catra’s research goals without hesitation. “Yeah uh...I am actually. I’ve been stuck on some experiments lately and it’s killing me.” She dropped her head back onto the pillow. “I’m glad it’s winter break. I don’t think I could handle another failed experiment right now.”

Adora scooted towards the couch a few inches as she jumped at the chance to keep talking about something so _normal_. “What’s going on?”

Catra watched her shift closer out of the corner of her eye. She struggled to order her thoughts. “It’s just...um...I think something’s wrong with the diamond anvil press. Or something like that. It always short circuits before it gets the temperature high enough. If I try to get it to 1400 degrees Celsius, it stops at 1200 and I have to take it apart to start another experiment where it does the same thing.”

She looked over at Adora, whose tongue was just poking out over her lips as she pondered Catra’s problem. She had that stupid face on that she wore whenever she was thinking about a problem in front of her. Catra had seen it hundreds of times, but it carried a different meaning now. It reminded her of that night in July, looking into Adora’s eyes in the dark water. She realized the thought of it didn’t hurt as badly as it did earlier that day.

Adora broke Catra’s daydream, talking about research again. She really did have a one track mind. “It sounds like you need some kind of specialist to take it apart and see what the problem is. In the meantime, you can use the one at Bright Moon if you want.” Adora’s cheeks shifted from her natural skin color to a faint pink blush.

Catra was surprised too, not quite sure how to respond to the offer until she realized she had a chance to tease Adora again, just like old times. She spoke sarcastically as she rolled away from Adora’s flustered cheeks, facing the back of the couch again. “Hmm. That depends. Can Lonnie come?”

Adora stuttered, not knowing how to respond. “Uh…”

Catra craned her head over her shoulder as she looked at Adora’s eyes, wide in shock. “God you’re so easy to mess with, it’s like you’re asking me to make fun of you.” Adora’s face shifted from shock to embarrassment at the speed of sound, realizing how easy it probably was for Catra to read her emotions in every detail.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Now go to sleep. You’re somehow making me even more exhausted.”

Adora laid down on her bedroll, looking at the blanket draped over top of Catra that spilled onto the floor. Right. Tomorrow, they’d talk. It was a simple phrase, but it meant more than it sounded like. They’d talk tomorrow. Catra wouldn’t run away, and Adora wouldn’t push back. Things might be different than they used to be, but they would be okay.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Catra woke up to bright, white sunlight reflecting off the snow outside and streaming through the curtains of the living room. From where she was on the couch, she could see Lonnie across the room, blanket over her head, probably trying to sleep as late as possible. She realized where she was, and leaned over the edge of the couch to look on the floor. The bedroll and pillow were there, but Adora was gone.

She sat straight up on the couch, looking around the room and into the kitchen with more visceral fear than she would let herself admit. If Adora was gone, she’d _really_ tear into her this time. You don’t get a third chance. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she looked into the kitchen and saw her.

The beams of sunlight coming through the kitchen window above the sink were cascading over her face and onto her shoulders. Adora was wearing the same white tank top she fell asleep in, and red running shorts that ended at the very tops of her toned thighs. She was doing _something_ on the kitchen counter when she saw Catra looking over at her, still taking the scene in with bleary eyes and bedhead.

“Catra close your eyes!”

The urgency in Adora’s voice shocked Catra into compliance, although she couldn’t really imagine anything that was that urgent. She heard the sound of pattering feet walking towards her and she started to recognize the smell coming from the kitchen.

The sound of walking stopped in front of Catra before she heard Adora’s voice again.

“Merry Christmas!”

Catra opened her eyes to the sight of Adora kneeled in front of the couch, blonde hair not in the ponytail and still recovering from her own night’s rest. She held a mug out to Catra with both of her hands wrapped around it. It looked like a relatively normal cup of coffee, other than the fact that it had whipped cream on top and an assortment of brown powder covering it.

“What...is that?”

Adora pushed the mug closer to Catra. She wasn’t going to be dissuaded that easily. “It’s for you! I don’t uh...I didn’t have an actual Christmas present for you so I made you a special Christmas coffee. Just try it. I promise you’ll like it.”

Catra slowly reached for the mug and cautiously grabbed it, pausing for a moment as her fingers brushed against Adora’s. She eyed the drink and sniffed it once, getting a whiff of cinnamon and the faint smell of citrus.

Adora’s eyes watched her before she started to laugh, “Only _you_ would think I’m trying to poison you on Christmas morning.”

Her eyes shifted up to meet Adora’s, squinting in suspicion. “You can never be too sure y’know.”

Finally, Catra lifted the mug up to her lips and took a sip of the drink. At first, she felt the whipped cream on her lips. Then the bittersweet taste of sugared coffee landed on her tongue, followed by the spice of cinnamon and then...was that alcohol? Adora was right, she loved it. She drank a few more sips, savoring the flavors with her eyes closed.

“What did you put in this?”

Adora smiled, knowing she’d hit the mark this time. “It’s a secret…” She winked as she said it, causing Catra to avert her eyes and try to focus on something else.

At that moment, the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs caused Adora to shoot straight up from kneeling on the ground in front of Catra, almost standing at attention. Catra laughed internally at how awkward Adora was.

Scorpia appeared at the bottom of the stairs still dressed in her own pajamas, a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that read “Fright Zone University” in a maroon font. She saw Adora standing in front of the couch, eyes wide and stiff as a board.

“Woah, stand down soldier! It’s just me.” Catra poked her head above the back of the couch to make herself visible to Scorpia and held the mug aloft in her hand.

“Look what Adora made me, Scorpia!”

Scorpia looked from Catra’s mug over to Adora. “Woooow. That’s pretty special. You’re a lucky girl, Catra!”

Her tone didn’t hint at any teasing, but Adora and Catra both couldn’t help but interpret Scorpia’s statement as a recognition of their surprisingly increased closeness. Both of them had fit back together so easily, it almost seemed too good to be true.

Adora’s hand went to scratch the back of her neck, trying to find an excuse to escape. “Um, I think I’m gonna go for a run.” 

Scorpia looked confused. “Adora, there’s at least three feet of snow out there and probably ice covering all of the sidewalks.”

She reached under the coffee table for her bag, where she pulled out a pair of sweatpants, a hoodie, and her tennis shoes. She spoke way too quickly for her own good, “I’ll be fine! I’m gonna go change, okay? Bye!” Adora ran upstairs and quickly shut the bathroom door behind her, successfully escaping the situation. Catra wasn’t a jock like Adora. She didn’t have an easy out like Adora, so she slumped into the couch, sipping on her drink as Scorpia poured herself a cup of coffee from the leftovers in the pot.

Scorpia broke the silence. “So...how was last night?”

Catra turned around and shot daggers at Scorpia in response.

“Okay, okay. We don’t have to talk about it right now, but we’re going to eventually.” Catra sunk deeper into the couch, hoping it would swallow her whole.

She grumbled as she tried to answer Scorpia’s question without saying it outright. “It was fine Scorpia. We _just_ talked.”

Scorpia leaned her hip against the countertop, dipping on her own steaming mug and looking back at Catra. “Mmm. What’d you talk about?”

“Just...stuff, okay?”

“Riiiiight. Obviously nothing intimate or lovey dovey or serious, right?”

“Obviously.” Catra tried to focus the attention off of her for a minute. “How was _your_ night, Scorpia? It was your first time staying with Perfuma, right?”

Scorpia practically ran over to the living room, plopping herself down into one of the chairs close to Catra’s couch. “I thought you’d never ask, but I didn’t want to be rude! Oh my god Catra she’s _amazing_. She’s so kind and sweet and we mesh so well together I…” She leaned towards Catra, hand cupped over her mouth. “I think I love her.”

Catra genuinely smiled at that. “Wow, that was fast. Not that it’s a surprise, but still. Have you told her yet?”

Scorpia leaned away and put her mug on her lap. “Oh no...no definitely not.”

“Well why not? She clearly feels the same way as you.”

Her eyes started to beam as she looked at Catra, “Really? You think so?”

“Scorpia you and her are so similar, I don’t think it’s possible for her to not be in love with you at this point. You’re her type, for sure.” Catra started to hear distant footsteps upstairs.

Scorpia lunged for her, almost spilling the little remains of Catra’s Christmas drink. “Oh thank you Wildcat! You’re the best friend a girl could ask for! I’m gonna tell her right now!” As Scorpia let her go, Adora finished descending the staircase into the living room with a mischievous grin on her face. Scorpia practically ran past her with a hastened “Hi Adora!” in her general direction.

Catra looked at Adora, hair back in its ponytail and dressed in her gray sweats with tennis shoes to top it off. She missed the shorts and tank top. “What are you looking at?”

Adora looked the side, grin still present as she spoke offhandedly, “Oh nothing...Wildcat.”

That visibly shook Catra as a chill went down her spine, and Adora was glad she finally got back in the groove of their favorite game: messing with each other. She moved her hand underneath the front of her workout hoodie to get an itch on her chest, lifting up the edge while not taking her eyes off of Catra.

She froze in response, constantly shifting her gaze from Adora’s face to the chiseled flesh under Adora’s hoodie. Had she gotten even more fit since she’d last seen her? There’s no way that’s even possible.

Adora dropped her hand and her hoodie, leaving Catra realizing what she was doing. “Anyways, I’m gonna go out for my run. Be back soon!” Without another word except for a knowing glance back at Catra as she walked out the front door, Adora left.

Catra shook herself out of the daze she was in, taking another sip of the fancy drink in front of her, especially savoring the alcohol at the end. She thought for the hundredth time since she arrived how wild it was for her to be in this situation. I mean...it could be worse.

All of a sudden, a voice came from the blanketed Lonnie across the room.

“Get a room. You two are so gross.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES this fic is finally going from very angsty to very flirty and I've been waiting for so long you have no idea. I would die for flustered Catra and flustered Adora. Also, Catra and Adora are both experimental petrologists AKA they grow crystals, just with different research topics (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experimental_petrology)


	11. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora recognizes her own pain as Catra tries to make things right again.

Adora rounded the corner a few blocks from Netossa and Spinnerella’s house as she jogged aimlessly, trying to organize her thoughts. It stopped snowing the night before, but absolutely none of it had melted away yet. Scorpia was right about snow and ice covering everything, but she was determined to get out of the house. It was hard for her to find the right words, but it felt… _tight_. Not suffocating or claustrophobic, but like one small breeze could knock her and Catra off of a high-tension wire. 

It wasn’t that she was unhappy Catra was there, she was so glad she came back. She was ecstatic in fact. But there was an elephant in the room that Adora felt uncomfortable bringing up and she wasn’t sure if Catra ever would.

Her heart pounded in her ears as she ran, slower than usual because of the ice and snow, but the thud of her shoes formed a therapeutic rhythm in her head. 

Catra was the one that ran away. Adora tried to explain her feelings when everything happened so quickly, but she never got a chance. Catra was gone within seconds of her trying. Adora understood that she was wrong and should’ve let herself be what they both wanted to be, but it still hurt to realize something like that.

The next few miles whizzed by her, thoughts continuing to spin in circles as she ran. Adora arrived at the doorstep of Netossa and Spinnerella’s, breath heavy and coming quickly as she desperately tried to take something other than frigid air into her lungs. The only thing Adora could think about was the image of her sitting around a dead campfire, alone.

After a minute, Adora opened the front door of the house to the sight of Scorpia and Perfuma in the kitchen with Spinnerella, working on breakfast. Catra was lounging on the couch looking at her phone, just like she was when Adora had left. She _really_ didn’t want to talk to Catra about that right now. They’d finally reconnected and Catra made it very clear that she only wanted to talk about casual things. She didn’t want to scare her away.

Catra met Adora’s eyes as she walked into the house, breathing heavily. She looked at Catra for the briefest of moments before she moved to knock the snow off her shoes and walked past Catra’s nest without another word.

Catra made a note of the look that she and Adora shared. It wasn’t quite surprise, but it was almost like seeing Catra had made her realize something. The weirdest part is she didn’t say anything, even though they were back teasing each other earlier that morning. If Catra knew Adora at all, and she did, she knew that something had shifted in Adora’s mind.

Adora walked into the kitchen, filling up a glass of water under the sink. “So, what’re y’all making?”

Spinerella’s soft voice piped up through the sound of her spatula scraping the pan in front of her, “Oh just pancakes! Me and Netossa make them every Christmas. We’re just tripling the recipe this year.”

Adora chugged her glass of water and started to fill another one before speaking, “Thank you again for letting all of us stay here Spinnerella. I owe you one. I’m gonna go shower if that’s alright, I don’t want to jump in front of anyone in line.”

“No you’re not jumping in front of anyone! Towels are in the linen closet under the stairs.”

She hurriedly grabbed a towel and her bag before jogging up the stairs, disappearing from all four of them.

Catra doesn’t think too much of it, Adora’s weird sometimes.

Then, thirty minutes of her looking at her phone and eating breakfast on the couch passes.

An hour’s gone by since Adora left to shower, and Catra starts to realize how long it’s been.

She gets up from her nest on the couch and begins heading upstairs, avoiding the curious stares of her temporary roommates as she climbed. The open door to the bathroom was open wide at the top, steam still fogging the mirror inside, but with no one in it. Catra knew Adora wouldn’t just disappear completely without saying anything, she wasn’t…

Catra’s train of thought came skidding to a halt.

She wasn’t _Catra_ , who had dropped off the face of the planet as soon as Adora said that she didn’t want her that way. Adora wouldn’t do that.

Oh fuck.

The thought made her insides ache with guilt and fury, not directed towards Adora, but at herself. Adora was practically an angel, always so perfect and confident and strong...the list goes on. And Catra was...Catra. For god’s sake, Adora didn’t even talk about how what happened hurt her at all, and Catra was sure it did, Adora just cared more about Catra’s pain than her own. And Catra _obviously_ didn’t care enough to ask her either.

How could she be so selfish?

Catra looked down the hallway, desperate to find Adora, praying that she hadn’t done to Catra exactly what Catra did to her.

A couple doors down from the bathroom, there was a door slightly cracked open, dark except for the faint glow of electronic light visible through the crack, like someone watching television in a dark room. She cautiously approached the door, making sure she wasn’t going to walk in on Netossa getting ready by walking into the master bedroom.

As she got closer, the sound of furious typing was audible from the room. Catra knew what Adora was doing, she’d fallen victim to it many times before but had helped herself out of it by sheer arrogance.

Catra knocked on the door, prodding it a few more feet open in the process. She saw Adora, hair down and still wet enough that she looked like a brunette, sitting on the floor with her back against the bedframe in the room. Her laptop was open on her lap, with the back to Catra. She could see all manner of Adora’s stickers lining the laptop, from the NASA meatball to the Psyche mission’s patch. Adora looked up from her screen, pausing her fingers dancing across the keyboard until she met Catra’s eyes from the dark. That same look she held earlier, the slight surprise and realization as she stared.

Catra rested her hand on her hip, knowing exactly what Adora was doing. “Are you seriously working on Christmas Day?”

Adora stuttered. “I-um. Yeah.” A shameful look crossed her face as she finished, not retorting to Catra’s comment. Something was definitely on her mind.

Catra wanted to navigate this with care. She didn’t want to run away again, and she didn’t want to push Adora so far that she ran away either.

“Can I come in?”

The look stuck to Adora’s face like glue, whatever was on her mind clearly causing some distress. “Yeah. Sure.”

She stepped further inside the guest bedroom, closing the door completely as she did, removing the glow coming from the hall light so that the room was entirely dark except for the light emanating from Adora’s laptop screen.

Adora spoke before Catra could get another word in, falling back into her habit of caring about others more than herself. “Is everything okay?”

That shocked Catra, even though she knew, or at least at one point she did, Adora better than anyone in this house.

“I was gonna ask you the same question. Someone who runs away from her friends to work in a dark room on Christmas Day isn’t exactly the picture of good mental health.” Adora looked at her, one eyebrow raised in question. Catra kept going, “Okay take it from me, who isn’t exactly the picture of good mental health either. Takes one to know one.”

That made Adora chuckle, lightening the air in the near-pitch black musty room. 

Then, an awkward silence fell between them.

Catra felt fear rise up in her stomach as she struggled to bring herself to say what was on her mind.

“We uh...we need to talk, Adora.”

Adora eyes opened wide, illuminated by her laptop that she promptly set aside as she pulled her knees up to her chest. “Um...what about?”

Catra walked from the door to the bed, sliding down the side of it as she sat a few feet from Adora, right side pressed against the bed frame. She looked down at her hands for a moment as Adora watched her open hands form into fists in her lap. Clearly, she was having a hard time with this. But she was trying, which Adora appreciated more than Catra could ever know.

Her hands relaxed for a moment as Catra took a deep, exasperated breath. “I’m not very good at this, y’know.”

Adora looked at her, head turned towards the left and rested against the mattress. She gave a faint, understanding smile. “I know. That’s okay.”

Their eyes met as Catra finally decided she was ready. “I...I’m sorry. For leaving.” Adora’s smile shifted to surprise as Catra’s head dropped to look at her hands again, shaking with fear and nervousness, fighting back the urge to run away again.

Adora was shocked into silence. She truly never expected Catra to apologize for that, and she was fully ready to have to deal with the memory in silence as they kept moving forward with their lives. But Adora hated seeing Catra like this. It was painful, watching someone you care about feel so much turmoil and pain. She reached her hand out, sliding it along the floor, trying not to scare Catra away again. “It’s okay Catra.”

She watched the hand stretching out towards her, looking up to see Adora’s worried face. Of course, she was more worried about Catra than her own feelings. She could see how it twisted inside her, but Adora refused to be a burden on anyone, just like always. Catra wasn’t going to let that go on any longer.

“It’s not okay Adora. It...wasn’t fair to you.”

Catra could feel the strength filling her back up as she continued.

“And I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t left. You didn’t deserve that, even though I was hurt by what you said.”

Adora listened intently to the words spilling out of Catra’s mouth.

“I was...afraid. I thought you didn’t want me. “

Adora started to speak before Catra raised her hand to silence her, eyes still glued to the ground. “Let me finish Adora. I just...I want you to know that I’m sorry, but you never have to forgive me.”

Catra stopped there. A minute passed before she could bring herself to look up into her friend’s eyes, seeing them looking into her soul. Adora watched Catra with such pride and gratefulness, never expecting Catra to apologize like that. She never said sorry.

“I’m sorry too Catra. I’m sorry for saying what I said back then. It wasn’t fair. To me or to you. But I want _you_ to know that I want you in my life. Please don’t disappear again.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Adora gave a weak smile. “Also...I do forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. That doesn’t mean it stopped hurting though.”

Catra shifted her glance away and into the darkness of the room, biting her lip and fighting back the urge to lash out. She was trying to be better. “I know.”

She waited a moment before asking Adora a question that’d been on her mind ever since she arrived. “Are we gonna be okay, Adora?”

Adora looked at her, taking all of her in as she inhaled the dusty air of a room that hadn’t been used for a long time. “I hope so, but...it depends.” She paused. “Are you still thinking about coming to the Bright Moon lab to do some experiments?”

Catra couldn’t hold back a raspy laugh at the question. “Really? That’s what the deciding factor is? Whether I go work in your stupid lab?”

“I mean...it’s something to consider.” Adora moved her head from leaning against the bed to resting it on her propped up knees. “It would be nice if you didn’t leave as soon as the snow melted enough for the roads to clear, I think. You can sleep on the couch at my place, and I can show you around town.”

She thought about the proposition. Truthfully, being in such close proximity to Adora made her nervous, but she’d never get this opportunity again. “Fine, I’ll stay a little longer, princess.”

The nickname shook Adora to her core, stunning her into silence. It had been half a year since anyone called her that.

Catra stood up, reaching her hand towards Adora where she sat on the ground. “There’s pancakes downstairs. You should come get some unless you want to make your own breakfast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say every single one of you is so sweet and I appreciate every single comment, bookmark, and kudos. Also for those that might be afraid that this fic is ending soon, DO NOT DESPAIR. I've got like, the next few months in their timeline planned out so it will not be ending in the next few chapters
> 
> Edit: wow I really need to start proofreading these better


	12. Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora continue making progress on themselves, but the stress of their lives is starting to take its toll.

Catra scanned through her inbox using her phone, deleting spam and skimming through emails from her department. Most of them were nondescript, holiday wishes or details for the spring semester. One thing that caught her eye was a reminder from the Lunar Planetary Science Conference.

_REMINDER: Abstracts due January 15th! Don’t forget to submit your abstracts to present at the Lunar Planetary Science Conference this March!_

She bit her lip, weighing the possibility of trying to rush her abstract and presenting at LPSC in a few months versus waiting until next December to do it at AGU. Presenting a poster or a talk in her first year of graduate school would be good experience, and it wouldn’t hurt to add a line to her resumé. Dr. Weaver might even lay off her back if she got a coauthorship off of Catra’s work. The only reason she didn’t have something already was because of those stupid experiments that kept crashing.

It was Christmas evening, and the sun had totally set beneath the horizon about an hour ago. Catra watched the remaining violet hues rapidly fade from the sky from her perch on the living room sofa.

Things were...weird. After her and Adora’s talk this morning, they’d been going through alternating waves of familiarity and discomfort. One moment, she would say how dumb Adora is and Adora would make a stupid comeback and they’d laugh until their ribs were sore. Then, thirty minutes later, they’d have trouble being within five feet of each other without one of them coming up with an excuse to go do something else.

Catra knew they wouldn’t go back to how things used to be immediately, but she was also frustrated as hell. She didn’t want to push Adora, especially after that morning’s conversation. But Jesus...this back and forth made her want to claw her eyes out.

Lonnie sat across the room from her, laying down with her phone being held up above her face. She looked over to Catra, seeing the subtle frown plaguing her face.

“What’s got your panties in a twist?”

Catra’s eyes flitted over to the other couch, seeing Lonnie’s eyes read the face she didn’t realize she was making.

“What do _you_ care?”

Lonnie’s face didn’t change as she laid there, looking towards Catra, waiting for her to give in.

Old habits die hard. Catra shifted her face again. “I’m just frustrated, I guess.”

“Wow, I never would’ve guessed.”

“Have I ever told you how much I hate you?”

Lonnie’s reading eyes shifted to a grin. Clearly, she’d hit a nerve. “Yeah, I think you have actually.” As she talked, they both heard heavy footsteps starting down the stairs.

Lonnie watched as Catra’s head perked up at the sound, expression changing from anger to what seemed like hyper-awareness.

Adora saw the two, previously mid-conversation and now staring blankly at Adora like they’d been talking and Adora had intruded on something personal.

She’d just finished her nightly routine, and she felt a surge of confidence seeing Catra’s surprised look at the sight of her descending into the room. Adora leaned into the railing and crossed her arms, smug grin as she looked from Catra to Lonnie. “What? Am I interrupting something?”

Catra pulled her head back from looking over the couch at Adora, settling back into where she was laying down.

Lonnie spoke up after Catra went back to her phone. “Oh we were just… _talking_. No big deal.”

Adora felt her cheeks flare up, her competitive side threatening to overtake her actions as she strode to her bedroll on the floor beside Catra. She watched as Catra pressed her phone closer to her face as Adora approached, eyes practically pressed into it once she sat down on the floor.

She looked up at Catra, whose eyes seemed intent on whatever she was reading. “What’s up with you?”

Catra pulled the phone away a few inches, still refusing to look at the girl next to her. “I got an email reminder that LPSC abstracts are due in a couple weeks.”

Adora’s feigned confidence gave way to genuine interest, something that she was embarrassed to say happened very easily. “Wait, LPSC abstracts are due that soon? Are you going to submit one?”

Catra groaned as she dropped her phone and pulled her pillow over her face.

“Ah. That bad huh?”

Her voice came muffled through the pillow still resting on Catra’s face, but still clear enough to make out what she was saying. “I would _love_ to submit something, but Dr. Weaver isn’t exactly helpful and my lab is shit.” She waved her arms around as she talked, almost slapping Adora in the face as she listened. “How the hell can I present my research when I don’t have any data or results?”

Adora weighed how to help her in the best way possible. “Well, you don’t have to have results when you submit an abstract, just have an idea of where everything’s going.”

She ripped the pillow off her face and pulled at her hair in frustration. “Well, surprise Adora! I don’t have that either.”

Adora looked away in response to the sudden outburst in her direction before Catra realized what she’d said. She promised she’d be better.

“Sorry. I’m just...frustrated.” She grumbled, always struggling to admit her defeat.

Adora glanced back at her, warm look on her face. “Well...when are abstracts due?”

“...January 15th.”

She tried to count the days in her head. “Okay, that’s like, over three weeks! That’s plenty of time!”

Catra turned away again. “Not when your lab is basically in pieces.”

Adora paused for a minute before breaking her silence. “My lab is still working. And I already have the data I need for LPSC, so it’ll be empty until winter break is over and students come back. You’re gonna be here anyway, so might as well get some data out of it.”

Lonnie looked away from her own phone, head turning to face Catra as she heard Adora say Catra was staying in the city. “Wait what? You’re staying?”

Catra’s cheeks blushed at the question, realizing how it all looked before she brought her defenses up. “Just for a few days! It’s not a big deal. It’s just to get some data.”

One of the woman’s eyebrows raised in response to Catra’s deflection. “I thought you didn’t decide to run experiments until just now?”

The blush that dusted Catra’s cheeks quickly rushed to fill her entire face as she hurried to roll over and hide from the suddenly obvious motivations behind her choices.

As Adora saw her, she couldn’t help but laugh at Catra’s sudden bashfulness.

They still had a long way to go, but every minute they spent together made things feel like they used to be.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Catra looked up at the building towering above her and Adora on the sidewalk. It was only around five stories high, Bright Moon wasn’t that large. It looked like a building that was constructed in the last two decades or so, sides built from stone and modestly sized windows wrapped around every face.

“Is this really where you live?” Catra grabbed the strap attached to her duffel bag and hoisted it back on her shoulder as their taxi drove off. The city had finally salted and plowed the roads, allowing everyone to finally escape Netossa and Spinnerella’s house. Lonnie had driven home by herself, grumbling about how ungrateful Catra was the entire way out the door. 

Adora looked sidelong at Catra, a little offended by the question. “I mean, I know it’s not much, but yeah.”

“No, I just mean...it’s much nicer than where I live.”

Her face shifted from modesty to surprise. “Oh. Well, come on. Let me show you inside.” She stepped forward to the front door, unclipping her keys from the carabiner around her belt loop and unlocking the entrance.

As they rode the elevator up, Adora became acutely aware of the sweat accumulating on her palms. She tried to wipe them on her jeans, but that only delayed the inevitable. She nervously spoke up to try and fill the awkward silence that settled over them.

“So um...what do you want for dinner?”

Catra looked at her, trying and failing to keep the laugh from bubbling up out of her throat. “Really? That’s your question right now?”

Adora looked down at her shoes, trying to find the words that wouldn’t make her look like an idiot. “Well, I mean, we could order pizza, or get takeout, or-”

The elevator doors cut Adora off as they opened on their floor.

Catra stepped off first. “Thank god. I couldn’t take any more questions about what I feel like eating for dinner.”

She started walking down the hallway, Adora following closely behind. “So, which one is yours?”

Adora pointed to a door coming up on their right and stepped in front of Catra to unlock the apartment. As she did, she opened the door to let Catra inside before her.

Only a few steps through the door and Catra’s duffel bag slipped off her shoulders without a movement to stop it. She was frozen, staring at the kitchen and living room of Adora’s apartment.

Worry stitched Adora’s face. “Catra! Catra, what’s wrong?” She ran to her side, placing a hand on Catra’s shoulder as she looked into her face. “Is everything okay?”

Catra’s eyes scanned the room, over and over again before finally taking it all in. “You never told me you live in a penthouse.”

Adora’s expression relaxed, realizing her hand was still resting on Catra’s shoulder before snapping it back to her side. “I mean...it’s not _that_ nice. It’s definitely better than a dorm room though.”

Catra’s characteristic raspy laugh chuckled at that, eyes still resting aimlessly on the apartment’s inside. “Adora, you should see my apartment back home. I share it with Scorpia and it’s a fraction of this place’s size.”

Adora started to speak before her phone’s ringtone went off from her back pocket. She set her bag down on a chair in the living room before pulling it out and looking at the caller ID.

“Oh, it’s Glimmer.”

Catra stopped wandering around the kitchen, inspecting all of the fancy silver appliances Adora had. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, right. I forgot that she left before you got to party a few nights ago.” Catra stood and watched Adora as she answered the call and brought the phone up to her ear.

“Hey Glimmer! What’s up?”

“Adora! Hi! Perfuma said you finally got out of her house and made it back home.”

She looked over at Catra, giving her a small smile as she kept talking. “Oh yeah, we just got back to my apartment and are settling in now.”

“What do you mean ‘we’?”

The realization dawned on Adora as she watched Catra in the kitchen. She never gave Glimmer any updates while her and Catra had been snowed in. Oh boy, this was gonna be a long conversation.

“Oh...um…” Catra turned to face her as she heard the apprehension in her voice. “Uh...here’s the thing…”

“ **Adora**.”

“Well...Catra is staying at my apartment for a little bit.” She watched as Catra’s eyes turned into dinner plates as she made the connection as well.

Glimmer’s voice on the line just turned into a scream. Not an angry one, but like a girl at a concert where her favorite band was playing a few feet in front of her.

“ADORA! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER?!”

She turned away from Catra as she kept talking, hoping that Glimmer didn’t force her to talk about her personal problems right in front of Catra. “Well I was _kinda_ busy!”

“I can’t believe this. Your ex comes back to you on Christmas Eve and you make up and you don’t tell your best friend that she’s actually coming to stay with you in your apartment? By _choice_?”

“She’s not my-” Adora looked back at Catra, who was watching her in idle fascination. “We can talk about it later, Glimmer. What were you calling about anyway?”

Glimmer’s voice only barely toned down, still possessing some of the excitement of before. “Well, I _was_ going to see if you wanted to come to dinner at my Mom’s place with Bow and me, but now you don’t have much of a choice. You have to introduce us.”

Just the thought of it made Adora nervous. Catra, meeting her advisor _and_ her best friends, all over one dinner? That sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. “I don’t know Glimmer, we’re both really tired.”

“Wow, pulling the ‘tired’ card, Adora? Real mature. Let me talk to Catra, we’ll see what she thinks.”

This was Adora’s chance, she could give the phone to Catra, signal her to say no, and then Glimmer wouldn’t have a choice about letting up on her demands.

“Ugh. Fine.” She walked over to the kitchen, where Catra stood with a sly smile on her face from watching Adora descend into panic. “She wants to talk to you.” Adora held out the phone in her hand before Catra snatched it and raised it to her own ear.

“Catra speaking.” Adora started to shake her head at Catra, trying to send her the message of telling Glimmer that they couldn’t come without speaking out loud. Catra looked amused at the image as she listened to Glimmer on the other side of the call.

“Uh huh. Right. Yeah, sounds like fun!” Adora’s stomach sank. “See you at seven! Can’t wait to meet you!”

Adora looked at her as Catra hung up the phone and handed it back to her. “I hate you.”

Catra’s smile managed to get even wider as the phone left her hand. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES IT'S TIME FOR CATRA TO MEET GLIMMER AND BOW!!! I'm sure everything will be totally fine and Adora's worried about nothing, right?
> 
> Edit: So after thinking about it for a bit, I decided that I'm gonna take a bit more time on chapters to make sure they're as high of a quality that y'all deserve! For those that like the frequent updates, I'm sorry, but chapters will be MUCH longer and higher quality too!! I'm gonna aim for about twice a week updates?? Let me know if you have any questions!!


	13. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra meets Adora's "family".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! Thank you for being patient with this chapter. If you missed my note last chapter, I decided to start taking a little longer between chapters to make sure it's up to snuff and compensating that by making chapters longer too! I'll be doing updates about every 4 days, but not super strictly.
> 
> Also, THANK YOU FOR 100 HUNDRED KUDOS EVERYONE!! I never thought this fic would make it as far as it has but I’m so glad you all love it and I love writing it

Adora was bent over in the floor of her closet, pulling anything remotely formal out and tossing it onto her bed. She wasn’t exactly the girl to call for nice clothes, so most of the pile consisted of short-sleeve and long sleeve button-ups, dark trousers, or tight linen pants. There were a few cocktail dresses from required weddings, years ago, but she didn’t think she _or_ Catra would appreciate those.

The familiar, rough voice called out to Adora from the living room. “Adoraaaa. You’re overreacting.”

She leaned back onto her knees as she looked around the closet, trying to see if she had any shoes that might fit Catra before shouting back. “You don’t know Glimmer. If you show up in the clothes you’ve been wearing the past couple days, she’ll notice and she’ll never let you live it down.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just dinner!” Catra heard a groan coming from the bedroom before Adora appeared in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed in front of her in annoyance. Catra was wearing some of Adora’s pajamas while her grimy Christmas clothes were in the washing machine that rattled in the background of Adora’s apartment, filling it with white noise.

“Catra. This is my PI, my advisor. She holds the fate of my life in her hands. It’s kind of a big deal.”

Catra crinkled her nose at the sudden gravity being presented to her. “I thought you said she was _nice_.”

Adora turned about face and walked back into the bedroom, approaching her unfortunately small clothing pile as she spoke defensively. “She _is_ nice. I just…” She grabbed the hem of a dark red top with buttons trailing up the center until they reached a collarless neck. The shoulders were a bit wide for Catra, but maybe they could make it work. “It’s just important to me. I don’t know.”

She found another top, a thin, dark gray sweater that she’d grown out of a few years ago but never thought to give away. Adora held them both up as she walked back into the living room. “What do you think?”

Catra looked up from her phone as she saw the two tops, looking at them both with disgust.

“Why can’t I just wear a t-shirt or something? I refuse to believe you have a ‘nice’ advisor when she has a dress code for dinners with her daughter.”

“Well, there’s not an _actual_ dress code, Catra. I just want to have a good first impression.”

Catra watched her from the couch, her look of distaste fading to form a smirk as one side of her lips curled upwards. “You mean you want _me_ to make a good first impression.” She saw her chance and shifted her voice up an octave to mock the girl standing in the doorway. “What are you so worried about? That mommy and daddy won’t like the friend you brought home?”

At that, Adora felt her face turn beet red in a cocktail of anger and embarrassment. Catra always knew where her buttons were. “God, you’re such a brat. You know that?”

“Of course I know that.”

Adora groaned in frustration as she hurled the sweater at Catra from across the room and stormed into her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The walk to Angella’s house was quiet as Adora led Catra through the city, only breaking the silence between the two whenever Adora pointed out her favorite lunch spot, the gym she liked, or some other mundane place that had a funny story behind it.

Truthfully, Catra was a little nervous. There was a faint buzz in her stomach that she couldn’t quite place and it made her want to throw up in an alley. She’d finally given in to Adora’s demands and worn the dark sweater and some black jeans, but she refused to wear other shoes when they’d be under the dinner table the entire time anyway. Adora conceded to her on that point. She also tied her mane back with one of Adora’s hairties, struggling to fight back the tangles.

If Catra had told herself just two weeks ago that she would be staying at Adora’s apartment and meeting her friends, she’d have punched her own teeth in. It was shocking how quickly they fit back into each other’s lives, especially her into Adora’s. She didn’t want to look back now. The black hole that had been slowly swallowing her in entirety since August was quickly shrinking, being replaced with a healing glow the same color as the hair next to her. She wouldn’t survive if something like that ever happened again, and that thought scared her for a moment before it pushed Catra to adamantly decide that she wouldn’t _let_ it happen again.

Yes, that decision may have influenced her ultimate acceptance to the clothes Adora threw at her earlier, but Adora didn’t need to know that.

Soon enough, a tall house loomed over the two of them as they stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. It was taller than most houses on the street, tall cream walls holding a steep roof aloft about three stories high. A large, red oak door stood in front of Adora, waiting to be opened.

She turned back to Catra, who was waiting impatiently with her arms crossed in front of her. “Are you ready?”

Catra dropped her arms. “I really think you should be asking yourself that. Let’s go already princess.”

Adora turned back to the door, resolve filling her before she placed a polite, but firm knock on the hardwood. She’d made sure to practice it beforehand.

A minute passed before the familiar voice of Glimmer came muffled through the closed door.

“ **I got it, Mom! I can handle getting the door!** ”

Adora looked back at Catra and shared a wary glance before the sound of the door opening forced her attention back forwards, where Glimmer stood wide-eyed and bright as she saw the both of them. Her eyes only briefly stopped on Adora before glancing past her at Catra, trying to read as much off of her as possible in mere fractions of a second. Glimmer’s eyes caught on the sweater that Catra had borrowed before Adora spoke up.

“Oh, hi Glimmer! So this is Catra.” She gestured to Catra with her arms out as Glimmer’s gaze stood resolute.

All of a sudden, everything she’d ever told Glimmer about Catra flashed through her mind. The lunar eclipse, the movie nights, field camp, how much she missed her the past few months. Adora told Glimmer all of that, fully expecting to never see Catra again. She felt like she was going to be sick just thinking about it.

“Hi Sparkles.”

Adora’s eyes went wide in shock.

Glimmer bit her bottom lip, maintaining the staring contest she’d started as she spoke with an audible amount of anger threatening to spill over the friendly words. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, _Catra_. I’ve heard **so** much about you.”

That sent Catra reeling too, but at least she could hide it better than Adora, and she’d never back down from something as fun as embarrassing Adora in front of her best friend.

“All good things I hope.”

The tension in the doorway of the house was palpable. Adora never expected to meet someone that could go toe-to-toe with Catra, and she never realized Glimmer had this energy inside of her.

Adora couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m uh...I’m gonna go see if Angella needs help with dinner.”

She dodged past Glimmer, still standing in the middle of the doorframe. The house was huge inside, with the foyer covered in paintings and framed photos of Glimmer, Bow, Angella, and a man she’d only heard about in passing, Angella’s husband, Micah. A broad staircase wrapped along the interior walls, climbing over a hallway that carried the sounds of pots clanging and the smell of spicy chilis.

Adora scrambled down the hallway, desperate to leave behind the inevitable awkwardness of having her best friend and her...ex-best friend meet. She guessed ‘ex-best friend’ wasn’t really the right word. Catra was back now, and she wasn’t exactly an enemy anymore, so...it was complicated.

The hallway ended into a large kitchen, isolated except for a window into the living room on one side and a door that she expected led to a dining room on another. Standing over an island in the middle of the room was Angella, her classy white clothes covered by a solid magenta apron. Behind her stood the man who Adora had seen in the pictures in the foyer, Micah. He had long black hair that streaked with gray in places and a thick beard to match. At the moment, his hair was tied back behind his head as he stirred a simmering saucepan of a thick, bright orange mixture.

Angella’s head perked up as Adora entered the room, matched by Micah once Angella spoke. “Adora! You made it!” She abandoned her cutting board at the island to wrap her arms around Adora, making sure to keep her hands off of her so as not to spread any chili residue.

Adora appreciated a nice hug after the past few days. She definitely needed it. Angella pulled away and turned to the side, allowing Micah to see Adora as well before introducing him. “Adora, this is my husband, Micah. Micah, this is my star graduate student, Adora.”

Adora couldn’t keep from blushing at the compliment. “Hi Micah, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

He didn’t move away from the saucepan as he talked, still stirring as he smiled at Adora from across the kitchen. “The same goes to you, Adora! I feel like I’ve been out of the loop with you and Glimmer being besties and Angella working with you all the time. I’m so glad you were able to make it to dinner tonight.”

Before Adora could reply, Glimmer walked in behind her, followed by Catra. They both held extremely contented looks on their faces, as if they didn’t seem like they were about to kill each other thirty seconds ago. Adora was in awe at the sudden shift. Maybe they got along better than she had thought.

As they walked into the kitchen, Glimmer gestured to the woman following behind her. “Mom, Dad, this is Catra. Adora’s friend.” Glimmer eye’s shifted to Adora as she said that last word, sharing a knowing glance before refocusing on her parents.

Angella reached out her hand towards Catra with a warm smile. “Hi, Catra. I’m glad you could come. I’m Angella.”

Catra watched the hand from the esteemed professor reach out to her, thinking of all of the stupid things she could say to embarass Adora before deciding to hold off for now, she’d get her later. She grasped Angella’s hand. “Me too. It’s nice to meet you Angella.”

Micah called from the stovetop. “Hi Catra! Sorry, I’d shake your hand too, but uh…” He gestured vaguely at the nonstop stirring motions he was subjecting the dish to. “I’m Micah. Welcome to our home!”

A warmth filled Catra, a new kind. She really did feel welcomed here, in this house. The thought didn’t linger long as the smell emanating from the area where Micah stood hit her full force. She took a huge breath in, savoring the smell of chilis, turmeric, tomatoes, onions, and what seemed like a million other spices and ingredients. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as she recognized the concoction and her mouth started to water.

“Is that… _curry_?”

Micah’s friendly, neighborly smile grew wider at the question, shifting entirely to pure joy as someone shared the same appreciation he did for the dish. “Yes! Of course it is!”

Adora couldn’t help but laugh a little at Catra’s suddenly enraptured state. She looked on as Catra walked past her and approached the stove, staring at the concoction with pupils larger than Adora had ever seen. She spoke with Micah as Adora’s hearing seemed to go out of focus, eyes still fixated on Catra. She grabbed a spoon out of a drawer, dipped it into the liquid, and raised it to her lips. She pondered over the taste for a moment, thumb pressed against her chin before smiling and saying something to Micah, not that Adora could hear it. 

Adora had never seen this side of Catra, ever. Not even in undergrad. It’s like the normal, tough, teasing exterior was entirely removed for a moment, allowing Adora a look underneath the hard shell.

A hand waved in front of her face, blocking her view of Catra.

“Adora? Hello? Anyone home?” 

She was surprised to find her hearing coming back into focus and the sound of Glimmer right next to her all of a sudden. “Huh? What?”

Glimmer stopped waving her hand around and crossed her arms. “Are you serious? I’ve been trying to get your attention for like twenty seconds.”

A hand reached to scratch the exposed skin on the back of Adora’s neck as she tried to laugh off the exchange. “Oh, haha. Sorry...I just uh...zoned out for a minute.”

“Geez. What did Catra do to you?”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Catra sat down at the dining room table set for six with her plate in hand. Adora smiled up at her from the seat next to Catra as she sat down.

She groaned as she tried to keep her plate, piled high with rice and curry, from spilling over while she endured Adora’s gaze. “This isn’t because I like you. It’d be weird if we sat in different places.”

Adora’s eyes lowered back to her own food as the other members of the table arrived. “Riiiiiiight. I’m _sure_.”

After a few minutes of lessened voices and thanking Angella and Micah for making such an amazing dinner, the curious conversations started. This was the part Adora had been most scared of. Angella had a way of knowing _everything_. Even though she was just her advisor, Angella almost acted like an overprotective mother to Adora.

Angella’s spoon paused as she held it from one end, barely dipping into the food with the other. “So. Catra.”

Catra paused from digging into her second helping, struggling to swallow and free her mouth to talk. She cleared her throat. “Ahem. Yes?”

The spoon Angella held began to slowly twist around the plate, carving channels as she swirled it. “What do you do? Adora hasn’t told me _anything_ about you.”

The pressure exuding from Angella’s eyes was immense, a thin lipped smile ever present as she spoke. Catra felt like she was being interrogated, a complete one-eighty from the energy before. Even she began to feel a little nervous.

“I’m a grad student. At Fright Zone University.”

Adora watched Catra silently. She could tell this is not the type of dinner Catra was prepared for.

Angella’s calculating eyes seemed to relax the tiniest bit, but remained focused.

“Oh! What do you study? I know some people over at Fright Zone.”

Catra took a big swallow, almost choking on her own spit. “I um…” She felt Adora’s foot gently slide into hers under the table, an invisible show of support.

“I study lunar evolution, using experimental petrology and stuff.”

At that, the pressure over the table immediately lifted, Angella sitting back in her chair and clapping her hands together. “Oh you’ll fit right in, Catra. Micah here works on moons a lot, he’s an astronomer though. I’m sure you know Adora does experimental petrology as well.”

Micah turned to face Catra as he spoke. “Can’t help you with any rocks, but if you need astrophysics, I’m your guy!”

Adora laughed as she watched Micah bring two thumbs to his chest, trying his best to be funny. The normal conversations resumed before Bow asked from across the table, “Catra, does that mean you’re going to LPSC this year?”

The question caught her off guard, stifling the slowly returning comfort after Angella’s questioning. “Psh. I wish.”

Adora elbowed her in the ribs. “Ow! What?”

A silent pause before Catra groaned.

“We’ll see. I don’t have an abstract yet, and I don’t have any data to start one. My experiments keep crashing in the lab at Fright Zone.”

Angella’s ears almost perked up at that. “The experimental petrology lab at Fright Zone is having trouble? Is the lab manager there still Dr. Weaver?”

Catra and Adora both stiffened at the question, realizing now that there must be some bad blood between Angella and Dr. Weaver.

Catra answered hesitantly. “...Yeah.”

“Ooooooh I swear. She does nothing but make life hard for her students. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was sabotaging your experiments.” Everyone at the table looked at Angella with wide eyes. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

Angella took a breath before leaning onto the table with her elbows and knotting her fingers together. “Catra. The lab here at Bright Moon is free right now, and you seem like a nice enough girl. I know the abstract deadline is soon, but you are more than welcome to run some experiments here. I’m sure Adora wouldn’t mind showing you around, right Adora?”

Adora was dumbfounded, she didn’t even have to ask Angella for permission to have Catra run experiments there. Angella was the one asking _her_. She stammered as she spoke. “Uh-of course! I’d be happy to!”

After finishing dinner, Adora helped to wash the dishes as Catra, Glimmer, and Bow migrated to the backyard, huddling around a lit fire pit as they tried to fight off the winter night.

Glimmer leaned into Bow’s arm as she sat down, absorbing some of his warmth. “So Catra, what’d you think?”

Catra pulled her knees to her chest, shooting icy stares back at her. “Your mom is crazy. What was that?”

“Oh she’s just a little protective. She loves Adora like she’s her own child, so she doesn’t want her hanging out with the wrong crowd.” Glimmer added air quotes at the end.

Bow cut in when Glimmer finished. “Besides, you did great! It seems like you passed the test with flying colors, otherwise why would she have invited you to work in her lab?”

The feeling of having to fight for someone’s approval made Catra sick. “Yeah. Whatever.”

Glimmer spoke up with a question that’d been burning on her mind ever since Catra arrived. “So. You and Adora.”

The bad taste in Catra’s mouth remained. “Yeah, what about us?”

Glimmer tried to tiptoe around the subject, not exciting Catra so much as to scare her off but still probing deeper. “What are your all’s plans while you’re here?”

“Work. Obviously.”

Bow and Glimmer had a bad habit of playing matchmaker with their friends. They’d convinced Mermista to try out at least one date with Seahawk, and encouraged Perfuma to start looking around on dating apps a month or two ago. They were proud of the results so far.

Glimmer kept pushing. “Well, Adora and us go to weekly trivia at a bar in town, and we have movie nights all the time to try and destress from work. Would you want to join us?”

The sound of the sliding glass door behind the huddle interrupted them before Catra could reply. She whipped around to see Adora, long green jacket wrapped around her torso as she shut the door behind her. She carried a six-pack of beer with her in one hand. “Jesus. What’re you guys doing out here? It’s freezing.”

“Oh we were just asking Catra if she wanted to join our trivia team. We need an extra player.”

Adora gasped as she ran over to Catra, kneeling beside her and grabbing a fistful of the gray sweater, way too excited to be mindful of what she was doing. “Catra _pleeeaaassse_. We need you!”

Catra was taken aback, only to look at Glimmer across the fire and see a smug smirk. “Fine. I’m sure you need all the help you could get.” Adora’s head dropped in gratitude before Catra spoke again. “On one condition.”

Adora looked up again, releasing her grip on Catra’s collar. “What?”

“When you come visit _me_ , we play some volleyball.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Catra had one of Adora’s arms hoisted over her shoulder as the elevator door opened onto Adora’s floor.

“I can’t believe you got plastered at your own advisor’s house.”

Adora looked over to her with the stupidest grin Catra had ever seen before she poked her on the nose. “Hehe. Boop.”

Then another three on Catra’s cheek as she tried to move her head away from the attack. “Boop, boop, boooooop.”

“Stop it! You’re gonna make me drop you! Here, gimme your keys.”

Adora unclipped them from her waist, dangling them in front of Catra’s face. “Heeeeeere ya go.”

Catra snatched them with her free hand before Adora could try and do anything else. She unlocked the door, kicking it open with one foot before practically dragging Adora in with her.

As soon as they crossed the threshold, Adora suddenly lost even more of her ability to walk, literally dragging her feet as Catra hauled her.

“Jesus Christ you’re heavy. Why the hell did you insist on drinking so much?”

Adora’s head lifted up, suddenly smooshing her nose against Catra’s and one finger pressing into her chest. “Y’know. If Angella didn’t want me to drink, she wouldn’t have given me so much beer. _Hiccup_.”

Catra gently moved Adora’s finger away from her, still holding one of her arms over Catra’s shoulders. Adora’s face in hers was a little more forward than she expected the night to be.

“Well, maybe you’re right.” She started moving towards Adora’s bedroom again, passing her own setup on the couch on the way. “But you really are a special drunk. I’m getting flashbacks from freshman year.”

Adora met Catra’s eyes again. God. That stupid, dumb, idiotic smile. “Pshhhh. I can handle it way better than I could back then. I’m like...I’m like a tank!”

Catra kept moving into the bedroom, seeing the bed in front of her and getting in motion to put Adora to bed. “Riiiight. Sure you are Adora. You definitely seem like you’re handling this like a champ.”

She reached the side of Adora’s bed and turned around so Adora could sit on the edge before laying down. As soon as her butt reached the mattress, she fell backwards on top of it with arms outstretched. “Mmmmm. This is so comfy.”

Catra stood up as she laid there, eyes closed and breath deepening before Catra reached over and gave her a light slap on the cheek.

“What was that for?!”

“Lay on your side! I don’t want you drowning in your own vomit, princess.”

Adora squinted her eyes and pouted her lips at Catra, reluctant to move at all before finally shifting to put her feet on the bed and facing away from the wall. “You’re so sweet Catra. You act so tough but you’re like...you’re like cotton candy on the inside.”

Catra’s eyebrows immediately furrowed as her fists balled in anger. “I am **not** sweet! And _cotton candy_? Really?!”

Adora just lay there, eyes closed and grinning as she listened to Catra yell at her.

“Ugh! Whatever!” Catra threw are arms into the air and began to leave the room before Adora realized what was happening.

“Wait!” Adora’s face turned into a pout, voice breaking like she was on the verge of tears. “Why are you leaving?”

Catra’s anger softened at the sight. Not entirely, but a little. “I’m just going to get you a trash can in case you need to barf. Geez. I’ll be right back.” She turned and left the room, returning with a small metal trash can in her hand and setting it on the floor by Adora.

“Try not to puke, okay? Curry doesn’t taste as good the second time.”

Adora’s freshly wet eyes crinkled at the edges as she started to giggle.

Catra watched her, unable to prevent her own chuckle from escaping her throat.

After a minute, Catra turned away again. “Okay, do you need anything before I leave?”

The tears returned at the edges of Adora’s eyes. “Wha-what? I thought you were staying?”

“I am staying, idiot. I’ll just be in the other room.”

This time, the face Adora was making shifted to pleading instead of panic. “Why don’t you just, like, stay in here?”

Adora said it so matter of factly, Catra almost let it by her without another thought. Shocking cold filled her toes and fingertips. “Wh-what?”

Adora’s eyes watched her from the side of the bed, looking into Catra’s soul. “Just stay here. This bed is big enough for the two of us.”

Catra couldn’t even open her mouth to say anything. She was frozen at the bedroom door.

Adora just patted the space next to her, goofy smile on her face as she looked at the girl she’d known better than anyone for the last five years. She felt a tiny wave of confidence surge up into her chest.

“You’re drunk, Adora.”

The smile shifted to a pouting frown. “Pleeeeaaaaaasse Catra.”

She wanted to say yes to Adora. Obviously she wanted to. But not while Adora was like this. It wouldn’t be right.

“How about this, Adora. If you remember this conversation tomorrow, I’ll think about it.”

Adora’s face scrunched up into a tight ball before she shifted to a frown again. “Fiiiiiiine.”

Catra looked at her, feeling that same, golden warmth she felt earlier. She let a genuine, soft smile escape her defenses as she looked at Adora, already starting to fall asleep.

“Goodnight, princess.”

The bedroom door softly closed behind Catra, with only soft snoring coming from the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I am a firm believer that Catra and Micah would have some serious connections, no I will not be taking criticism


	14. Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra wakes up in Adora's apartment for the first time, and Adora realizes what she wants.

The first thing that Adora felt as her eyes flitted open was a searing pain inside her skull, only spurred on by the shrill ringing coming from the phone on her bedside table. She quickly stretched one arm over to turn the alarm off and look at the time.

_5:30AM_

Fuck. Her morning workout routine. On one hand, she felt like a woodpecker had drilled into her brain and made a nest there. On the other hand, who would she be if a little headache kept her from keeping her routine? She made her choice, and rotated her hips so her legs could drop off the bed and land on the ground.

As she made the motion, her stomach lurched and threatened to empty itself. She looked at the floor of the dark bedroom, seeing the lined trash can right beside where she was laying. She was puzzled, trying to understand how a trash can had ended up by her bed. Slowly, the memories of the night before trickled back into her consciousness.

She had gone to Glimmer’s house. With… _Catra_.

Adora’s face immediately met her palms as she realized what happened. She was a messy drunk. An emotional one too, that’s for sure. The embarrassment of realizing that she actually _asked_ Catra to sleep with her? She was sure she’d never live that down.

Adora replayed the conversation that she and Catra had last night. She thought about her question, how much she really wanted Catra to stay with her, how Catra spent time with her friends, her family. Even Angella liked her. The thought of it all made something _click_ in the dark recesses of her brain. 

Yeah, maybe she had a little, tiny, itsy-bitsy crush on Catra. That was normal, right? Friends had crushes on each other all the time. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she’d always felt that way. When she first met Catra, she’d been blown away by how someone so amazing could exist, and she centered her whole life around her. At field camp...the euphoria of Catra’s lips on her own...that wasn’t a passing urge. She didn’t miss being friends with Catra, although she’d still take that over nothing. She missed being like… _that_ with her. The feeling of Catra’s nimble fingers running through her hair, her soft lips, the heavy breath...

Fuck. No un-realizing that.

Adora suddenly had the urge to actually use the trash can beside her when a wave of nausea hit her. She fought it, realizing she probably needed to eat something, some toast or a bagel or something. Some coffee would help her headache too.

Slowly, she pressed her hands into the mattress and dropped her feet onto the floor, taking a second for her stomach’s unease to subside before walking towards her bedroom door. She reached one arm for the doorknob before she remembered.

Catra was sleeping in the other room. She didn’t know if she could face her at all after that train of thought. She put up her defenses, preparing to put on a strong face before quietly twisting the knob and pressing the door open until there was a small crack between it and the wall. She twisted her head around, lightly pressing the door more and more to peer into the still-dark living room. 

The edge of the couch was visible first, then a blanket covering the legs of a body, until she could finally see Catra’s upper half, turned away from her and facing the back of the couch. Adora thanked whatever higher power there was that Catra was still asleep. She was not near put together enough to face her right now. 

The door slowly creaked open until it was just big enough for Adora’s body to slide through the crack. She carefully creeped through the opening, tip-toeing into the living room and past Catra before entering the kitchen. It was difficult finding everything in the dark, but eventually Adora was able to put two slices of bread in the toaster and slowly press them down to start her breakfast. She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding as she waited for her pre-workout meal to be ready.

Adora’s eyes were glued to Catra’s unconscious form as she waited. Trying to figure out what to do about the precarious situation she found herself in. After a minute of her trying and failing to get her thoughts straight, the toaster behind her let out a loud ring, telling her and everyone in her building that it was done. She immediately turned to the couch, watching Catra’s body to see if she was about to wake up.

Catra slowly stirred, turning around and lifting her head up. She spoke in that raspy tone that shook Adora to her core, “Hello? Who’s there?” She still sounded half asleep. Adora stood as still as a statue, waiting. 

Catra laid her head back down, groaning as she did so. 

That was close.

She’d have to skip the coffee today. As quietly as she could manage, Adora made it back to her room and grabbed her gym bag before leaving through the front door.

Once she reached the sidewalk in front of her building, Adora reached for her phone to send Catra a text telling her she was going to the gym. Once she selected her contact, her fingers froze. What should she say? How does she make this sound super casual and avoid the subject of last night? It’s fine, she thought. She’s probably just overthinking this. It’s not a big deal, just a text saying where she is.

Adora

> Heyyyy Catra don’t freak out that I’m gone haha. I’m at the gym, I’ll be back soon

There. Casual. Smooth. No big deal.

Adora paused, beginning to panic. She typed out a new text. Then another.

Adora

> Not that you’d be freaked out that I’m gone haha

> Just wanted to let you know where I was

> I’ll be back by 8

> There’s food in the fridge, feel free to have some breakfast when you wake up

She read over the text chain, realizing she’d just sent five messages in a row to Catra about nothing at all. Adora stuffed her phone in her bag before she said anything else stupid.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bright sunlight streamed through the living room window, piercing through Catra’s eyelids.

“Uggggggh.” She groaned, covering her face with the blanket that tangled around her feet while she slept. After a few minutes of letting her eyes adjust to the light under the blanket, Catra slowly removed her cover and looked around the room she was in.

Adora’s living room. Right. She could see the bedroom door, open across from her with no blonde jock to be seen. There was probably some note somewhere that she left for Catra, Adora was too much of a worrywart to leave without saying anything at all, Catra thought. She reached for her phone on the coffee table to check the time.

_7:32AM_

Woah. That’s a lot of texts.

DO NOT ANSWER

> Heyyyy Catra don’t freak out that I’m gone haha. I’m at the gym, I’ll be back soon
> 
> Not that you’d be freaked out that I’m gone haha
> 
> Just wanted to let you know where I was
> 
> I’ll be back by 8
> 
> There’s food in the fridge, feel free to have some breakfast when you wake up

She couldn’t help but laugh at the messages, Adora was just as awkward over text as she was in person. Then she thought about last night.

Oh.

If Adora was sending texts like this...then she definitely remembered at least a little of the night before. Catra knew when Adora was embarrassed, and this was...borderline humiliated. The only question was how much she remembered. Oh well, nothing Catra could about that now. She took it upon herself to go ahead and start her morning routine, she might as well make herself comfortable.

Catra sat up from the couch, grabbing her bag as she stood and started heading for the bathroom. 

A short shower later, Catra was digging through Adora’s closet, trying to find something suitable to wear for the day. She still had the same black jeans from the day before, but tops were a little more difficult. Adora’s shoulders were just so... _broad_. It was almost unfair.

Hanger after hanger, Catra was about to give up and wear the same sweater until she saw it. _That_ shirt. A simple, light gray t-shirt. But over the chest, bold text spelled out “Etheria’s Angels” as a volleyball arced over it, leaving a rainbow trail.

Of course Adora still had her old jersey. It pulled at Catra’s heartstrings to see it, probably unworn since the last game of their senior year, she thought. On the back, “Adora” stretched across the shoulders with the number one beneath it. It was a size too big, but she could tie a knot at the bottom and cuff the sleeves to make it work. The rise it would get out of Adora when she gets back from the gym would be more than worth it.

Catra tore the shirt off the hanger, pulling it over her head and making her adjustments so that it fit better. Once she was done, she looked in the mirror. Not half bad. She turned around, seeing Adora’s name plastered on her back. Seeing it gave her some small sense of satisfaction that she was too proud to admit to.

Adora was on her way home from the gym, bag slung over her shoulder as she walked. She had hoped that working out would help her figure out what she should do, but she was still paralyzed by nervousness. Today, all her thoughts centered on Catra. She wasn’t the best with feelings, at least she had the self-awareness to know that. But she didn’t want to face Catra without a plan of what to do.

The idea of calling Glimmer popped into her head. She whipped her phone out, only briefly noticing that Catra never texted her back before calling Glimmer and putting the phone up to her ear.

A few rings later, Glimmer’s tired voice sounded off on the other side of the call. “Hello?”

Adora was too anxious for pleasantries. “Hey Glimmer! I need to talk to you about something important.”

“Geez Adora, it’s not even eight o’clock yet. I’m surprised you’re so awake after last night. Can’t it wait?”

“No, it can’t wait! It’s _about_ last night!”

Adora heard the sound of rustling through the call and an immediately more alert Glimmer speaking, “What?! Adora tell me everything.” She started speaking faster and faster, barreling past Adora’s train of thought. “Did Catra try something while you were drunk? I swear to God I’m gonna kick her teeth in Adora-”

She cut Glimmer off before she spiraled any further. “No, Glimmer! She didn’t do anything like that. It was actually kind of...the opposite.”

“ **What?!** ”

“Well I - I kind of sorta asked her to um...to sleep with me.” God, just saying it out loud was humiliating. “I was _really_ drunk, and I guess I uh… I mean it kind of made me realize some things.”

Glimmer paused before she responded, trying her best to let Adora come to her own conclusions but failing to hide her own lack of surprise. “Adora. Did you seriously call me this early in the morning to tell me you want to sleep with Catra?”

The abruptness with which Glimmer spoke through the phone, like it was such an obvious thing made Adora feel humiliated. Her first instinct was to defend herself. “What? Nooo. Why would you even say that? That is definitely not what I was going to say.” She felt a buzz in her stomach as she spoke, a familiar sensation that brought the image of Catra’s bare shoulders in the middle of a dark river to Adora’s mind.

“Uh huh. Right. Then I apologize, Adora. What _were_ you calling about?”

Adora cleared her throat, struggling to pull her mind back to the sidewalk in front of her as she got closer and closer to her apartment. “I mean...I wouldn’t put it like _that_. I was just gonna say that…” She struggled to find the words.

“C’mon. Spit it out Adora.”

She felt the words come spilling out, faster than she could stop herself. “I was gonna say that I want Catra to be my girlfriend.” Once the words left her mouth, Adora felt a magnificent weight lift from her shoulders, like she finally released something inside her that begged to be let out after years of being stifled. _Girlfriend_. The word rang in her ears. Obviously she wanted Catra in _that_ way, but she wanted more too. She wanted more nights where her and Catra went home together after eating dinner with their friends. She wanted to go to game night with her, travel with her, wake up beside her every morning.

“Well Adora, I’m proud of you for realizing that, but I can’t help you.”

“What? Why?”

Glimmer suddenly sounded sheepish through the phone, like she was trying to hide something. “Well...it would be a conflict of interest. I can’t. I kind of have a bet with Bow…about which one of you will pull the first move.”

If her cheeks were pink before, a deep red was covering them now. “What? You two bet on me and Catra getting together?!”

“No we didn’t bet on you two getting together, we just bet on who would try something first! If it makes you feel any better, Bow really believes in you. I for one think you can freeze up sometimes, and Catra seems like the type that chases after what she wants.”

Adora couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “What? How do you even know anything will happen? Catra may not even feel the same way about me!”

“Are you serious, Adora?”

She kept walking, blank-faced at the question, genuinely not understanding. “What do you mean?”

“Wow. You really are oblivious. Adora, everyone who’s ever met Catra knows how she feels about you. You’re literally all she ever talks about.” Before Adora could say anything in response, Glimmer interrupted, “Oh, Bow’s back with breakfast! Gotta go! Don’t forget about trivia tomorrow!” And just like that, Glimmer hung up.

Well, that was definitely not how Adora expected that conversation to go. If Glimmer was telling the truth...that changes everything. The thought of having to face Catra when she had embarrassed herself so badly the night before was flipped on its head. The nervousness Adora had been feeling all morning turned into a surge of confidence. Catra, the ‘too cool for feelings’ PhD student was apparently obsessed with her.

Adora saw her building in the distance, appearing much less intimidating than it did when she left a couple hours ago. Before stepping through the front door, she straightened her shoulders and set her jaw. She remembered the promise that she made to herself when Catra came back.

She would chase what she wanted, even if she was scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are coming to a HEAD y'all
> 
> Also all of you are so amazing for being so understanding about my schedule because it is chaotic as hell


	15. Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra become something more than friends, and Catra realizes she has a lot more to worry about than her relationship with Adora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's a little late y'all!! I wanted to make sure this chapter was *chef's kiss* and I was also moving until 4am last night so! Enjoy!

Adora stood in front of her apartment door. She pulled out her phone and, fixing her hair in the reflection, redid her ponytail and tried to dry off any remaining sweat from her workout. It was just her luck that she went to the gym right before all of this. She wasn’t exactly in her Sunday best, but it would have to do.

Adora took off the hoodie she was wearing and stuffed it in her backpack as she took a deep breath, trying to push down the feelings of doubt that threatened to swallow her whole.

What if Glimmer was wrong?

What if Catra didn’t want this?

What if talking about this ruined everything, making the slowly blossoming friendship they had turn to dust?

The reality was that there was no turning back once she told Catra how she felt. If she said nothing and pretended like everything was normal, maybe they could just be friends. But...Adora was sure Catra would immediately see that something was on her mind. It’d always been impossible to hide things from her. But, what if Catra felt the sa-

Adora’s hallway meditation was interrupted by the door to her apartment opening in front of her eyes to the sight of Catra leaning against the doorframe. Her curly brown hair was still slightly damp from the shower, and Adora’s eyes caught on the shirt Catra was wearing. Her old volleyball jersey, sleeves rolled up to where it was practically a tank top with a twisted knot at the front so that Catra’s stomach was exposed to the air that’d suddenly grown stale in Adora’s lungs.

“Hey Adora.”

Her eyes flicked back up to Catra’s, mouth dry and struggling to bring words to her lips. “Uh, hi,” Adora stuttered. “That’s my shirt.”

Catra stayed where she was, smirk on her face as she looked down at the top she was wearing with feigned surprise. “Oh yeah, I guess it is. I hope you don’t mind me borrowing it for a bit. You know, the whole not having any clothes thing.”

A rosy dust scattered across Adora’s cheeks before she cleared her throat to try and buy herself some more time. The butterflies she was having trouble pushing down roared to life, fluttering in her chest. This wasn’t exactly going according to plan. “Yeah it’s fine! No big deal! I barely ever wear it anyway,” she lied. “Were you about to leave?”

Catra shifted her weight off of the doorframe and onto her feet as she studied Adora. “No, I heard you walk up to the door and then you just sat there for five minutes. I thought maybe you’d forgotten how to unlock your own apartment.” Her smirk faded as she stepped aside to let Adora pass her. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you.”

There were a million different things that sentence could mean to Adora right now, good and bad, but she couldn’t help but jump to the worst. “Oh...yeah. Sure.”

Adora stepped inside, dropping her bag at the entrance and approaching the half-full coffee pot on the kitchen counter before looking back at Catra, fear and anxiety in her eyes. She started to pour a cup for herself when she heard Catra’s voice from behind her.

“I’m going to ride back to Fright Zone with Scorpia today.”

Adora’s eyes went wide, not fully comprehending what was being said to her. Catra had said it so casually, like it didn’t matter at all. Like it was the easiest thing in the world. After everything, she couldn’t keep herself from panicking as she turned around with wild eyes and furrowed brows. “What? Why? I-I thought we were okay again.”

Catra was surprised by the sudden emotion coming from Adora until she realized what it sounded like. “Adora, I-”

She was cut off before she could finish, Adora rushing towards her and grabbing her wrists with both hands as she looked into Catra’s eyes. “Catra, please...” She had to say it, before she lost Catra again. She had to tell the truth, fight for what she wanted, but the words kept getting caught up in her mouth.

Catra felt the skin under Adora’s touch burning as her calloused fingers wrapped around her. Adora’s face was so close to hers, she felt her heart skip a beat at the feeling of warm breath brushing her nose.

Adora’s eyes flitted to the pair of lips in front of her, suddenly aware of how close she was holding Catra to her body. Memories flashed through her head, and all she could think about was the _want_ filling her entire body. She wanted to feel Catra’s lips again. She wanted to keep her there forever. Adora wanted this.

Catra saw the blue eyes watching her, filled with hunger, and all she could do was melt under their gaze. Adora whispered the only thing she could manage right now.

“Can I?”

The fact that Adora asked for permission annoyed the hell out of her, but it reminded Catra of what she loved most about Adora. Her tenderness, her care.

“If you don’t hurry up, I’m never going to forgive you.”

Before another thought could enter either of their minds, Catra felt soft lips pressing into hers. The hands that gripped her wrists let go and cradled her face as she closed her eyes and fireworks danced across her vision.

Adora pushed forward, trying to close the space between their bodies until they became one. Catra’s lower back bucked against the counter as she was pushed backwards, Adora’s hips pressing against her as Catra wrapped her arms around them. A warm fire was sparking in her stomach, kindled by every place on her body that Adora touched her. One of Adora’s fingers brushed against her neck, sending shivers down her body. Catra reluctantly pulled away from the salty lips that pressed harder and harder against hers.

Adora was beautiful. She looked like she’d just woken up from a dream, eyes hazily gazing at her and a soft smile as she looked back at Catra. She was out of breath as she spoke, “Wow.”

Catra longed for her, and the thought that this was happening...she couldn’t believe it. Adora had taken the first step. She wanted Catra. “I thought you’d never do it.”

The pink dust scattered across Adora’s face darkened to a soft rouge. “I’ve wanted to for a long time.” Then, Adora remembered what Catra was saying before and her warm expression dropped back into the anxious one she’d worn so much over the past few months. “Please don’t go back to Fright Zone. I want you here. I want to be with you.”

Catra couldn’t help but let a laugh escape from deep within her chest at the sight of Adora pleading for her to stay. Adora’s hands still cradled her face as she spoke. “Oh God, you’re gonna _hate_ me for this,” she half-joked. “When I said I was going to go with Scorpia back to Fright Zone, I didn’t mean for good.”

Adora looked confused, struggling to understand what Catra was saying. “What?”

“I mean I’m not complaining...you’re a pretty good kisser for a princess.” 

The nickname took on a whole new meaning. Adora was too embarrassed to stay in the close-quarters they were in and dropped her hands to step back and break away from Catra’s body. As soon as she did, she missed the warmth it provided. She felt cold without it.

Catra kept going. “I was just going to go get some of my clothes and toiletries from my apartment, and then drive back in my own car. I need to get my experiment supplies from the lab too, dummy.” She watched as Adora’s eyes widened at the realization and her eyes shot away from Catra’s, trying to find something else to look at to hide her embarrassment.

Adora heard what Catra was saying and kicked herself for being so stupid and rash. Catra says she needs to go back to her apartment and her first instinct was to kiss her? Geez Adora. Get it together. She straightened her shoulders and crossed her arms in front of her, trying to feign confidence until her heart stopped trying to beat out of her chest. “Y’know, you’re the one who practically _begged_ me to kiss you a minute ago.”

Catra’s ears turned bright red, hair standing on end as she got defensive. “I did not! You were the one who grabbed me!”

Adora smirked as she raised an open palm to her cheek and spoke, dropping her voice and mocking Catra, “Ohhh Adora. If you don’t hurry up and kiss me I think I’m going to _die_.” She pretended to faint onto the kitchen counter, tongue lolling out of her mouth.

“I don’t sound _anything_ like that!” She turned away from Adora, grabbing her small bag as she did. “God, I hate you so much.”

Adora perked up from her place on the counter when she saw Catra pick up her bag. Her mocking tone fading away as she realized what was happening. “Are you leaving right now?”

Catra looked at her for a moment before resting one strap over her shoulder and walking towards Adora. A mischievous smile spread across her face as she got closer, reaching out and tracing a finger down Adora’s jawline as she spoke. “Scorpia’s waiting outside. But don’t worry princess, I’ll be back tonight.”

A minute later, Catra closed the apartment door behind her. She had felt Adora’s stare on her back as she walked, watching her every step of the way until she was totally out of sight.

She replayed the morning’s memories back in her head. She certainly was not expecting _that_... Just the thought of Adora gently holding Catra’s head in her hands brought butterflies to her stomach. Catra was fully prepared to wait for that kind of action from Adora for months, maybe longer. The full, active reciprocation of Catra’s feelings...she’d never once experienced something like that. It made Catra smile without thinking and force her heart to beat a million times a minute.

Before she realized it, Catra was already on the street below with Scorpia waving at her from a minivan parked along the curb.

“Hey! Catra!” Catra approached the car, raising a lazy hand in acknowledgement. When she opened the passenger door and climbed inside, Scorpia was staring at her like she was looking at a newborn kitten that she wanted to adopt.

Catra looked sidelong at her, letting a hint of irritation leak into her voice. “What?”

Scorpia’s stare didn’t shift as she spoke, but a huge smile started spread across her face. “Your. Shirt. Is. So. **CUTE!** ”

Catra felt her ears heat up again. “It is _not_ cute!”

Scorpia started the van and headed down the street, watching Catra look in the mirror at Adora’s building as it faded into the distance. The idea of leaving brought a stabbing pain to Catra’s chest. 

“Sooo.” Scorpia elbowed Catra to get her attention, “How was staying at Adora’s? Tell me _everything_.

Catra scoffed at the question, trying desperately to put up a calm exterior. “It was fine, obviously.”

“Oh come on Wildcat. I know that’s not all there is to it.”

The apartment buildings and offices quickly turned into neighborhoods and forests as the pair rode out of the city and closer to Fright Zone University. Catra fidgeted with the miniature rock hammer attached to her keychain. It’d been clipped on ever since last summer, and somehow, it always managed to comfort her when she was feeling nervous.

After being lost in thought for a minute, Catra finally responded to Scorpia. “We talked about...stuff.” Scorpia didn’t need to know all of the details.

Scorpia’s eyes stayed glued to the road, but she let a short breath out in frustration at the lack of information. “Are you serious? That’s all you’re gonna say?”

God, Scorpia really wasn’t taking no for an answer. She joked, “Well, we had dinner at her advisor's house.” Her tone shifted to a matter-of-fact voice. “And maybe we kissed, but it’s not a big deal.” Just the thought of that morning brought the ghost of Adora’s lips to hers again. She wished it had never ended.

Catra was surprised that Scorpia didn’t crash as soon as she heard about what happened. “ **What?** ” She was leaned forward, white-knuckling the steering wheel and jaw on the floor of the van in surprise. “Oh my god Catra. Oh my god. You _kissed_ Adora?”

“Adora was the one-”

Scorpia wouldn’t let Catra get a word in. “Does this mean you two are _dating_ now? That’s so adorable!”

Catra cut her off before she could go any further. “ **No!** We’re not...dating.”

Scorpia relaxed in the driver’s seat. “Wait, you’re not?”

Catra’s eyes moved from Scorpia to outside the passenger window. It was a pretty day. The trees whizzed by, faster than she could count, but she couldn’t hide why she had been avoiding this subject. “No. Adora and I are just...friends.”

“Friends that kiss?”

“You know what I mean.” Catra’s hand gripped the rock hammer tighter. “We just kissed. We didn’t talk about...dating.” Catra knew that she had trouble feeling wanted by others. She understood that. And she wasn’t upset with Adora for not bringing it up; Catra did leave right after it happened. But she wished she would soon. Whether it was rational or not, a part of her was still afraid that Adora would push her away again. She needed that affirmation. The kiss was nice, more than nice, and she wanted more, but that wasn't all Catra wanted.

Scorpia seemed to understand how Catra was feeling and looked on, not knowing what to say.

Catra’s text ringtone broke the silence of the minivan as she received a text from Adora.

DO NOT ANSWER

> God, the coffee you made is terrible (Image attached)

Reading the text, accompanied by the old contact name broke Catra out of her melancholy. She went into Adora’s contact and replaced “DO NOT ANSWER” with “blonde idiot”. Then, she moved back to the text she received and opened the image to see a picture of Adora holding up one of her novelty mugs in one hand and making a puking motion with the other. She literally set up a camera timer just to take a selfie and send it to Catra.

She had to admit, that was a little cute. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later, Scorpia pulled onto the street where their apartment sat. After spending a few days in Bright Moon, the sight of it made Catra’s skin crawl. She missed the tree-lined streets, the variety of the houses, the life and love pouring out of every nook and cranny. Coming back here...it all just felt dead. Catra looked over at Scorpia, who she saw was gazing up at the building face with a painful look in her eyes. It hurt to see Scorpia, someone so loving, look like that. They must have had some similar experiences the past few days.

Catra forced herself out of her comfort zone, trying to reach out to Scorpia. “I know it sucks here.” She wasn’t comfortable enough in situations like these to be anything but blunt. “But we can make it through this.”

Scorpia looked back at her, savoring every word of comfort that she could get from Catra. “I know...it’s just. Why does it have to be so… _bleh_ here? I wish we could just go back whenever we want.”

Catra started to get out of the car, slinging her bag over one shoulder and standing on the sidewalk to wait for Scorpia. She wasn’t really sure how to tell her friend that she _was_ going back to Bright Moon...that same day in fact. It only made it harder that she’d be leaving Scorpia behind to fend for herself.

They started up the stairs to their shared apartment before she could bring herself to broach the subject. “Hey. Scorpia.” She summoned all the strength she could muster before continuing, “You know they all love you, right? Over at Bright Moon?”

Scorpia looked back at her as she climbed, the smallest hint of blush on her cheeks. “You really think so?”

Catra avoided Scorpia’s gaze as best as she could. “Yeah. You fit right in over there.” It hurt her to say those things to Scorpia. Not because they weren’t true, but because they weren’t true for herself. Back at the party, Scorpia was joking around and playing games with everyone before Catra got there to ruin everything. The only person she had talked to while she was there was Adora for Christ’s sake. Other than Adora...Catra didn’t feel like she fit with the rest of them. Maybe Bow and Glimmer liked her, but they probably don’t see her as their _friend_. She was making an effort to try and be a part of them, that was part of the reason she was so willing to stay longer, but it wasn’t easy.

Once inside the apartment, Catra started gathering her essentials and enough clothes for a couple weeks before stuffing them into her duffle bag.

“Where are you headed?”

Scorpia’s voice from the kitchen stopped Catra in her tracks as she left her bedroom. “I’m just going to the lab, to pick up some supplies.” Scorpia raised an eyebrow, waiting for the rest. Catra rushed the rest of her words, hoping that Scorpia wouldn’t hear all of them. “And then I’m going back to Adora’s for a couple weeks to try and get some experiments done before LPSC abstracts are due.”

Scorpia’s hands shot up to her cheeks as she gasped in surprise. “You’re staying at Adora’s for _two weeks_?”

“It’s not a big deal! It’s just for work! She offered and it’s better than paying for a hotel or something…” Catra crossed her arms, trying to defend herself as best as she could.

“Wait, so you’re saying Adora kissed you, **and** she asked you to sleep in her apartment for a couple weeks while she helped you do experiments?”

Catra didn’t move from her position. She genuinely didn’t understand why Scorpia was saying it like that. “Yeah? So what?”

Scorpia stood in the kitchen, dumbfounded as she looked back at Catra’s obliviousness. “And you’re afraid Adora doesn’t _like_ you? Catra, I thought you were smart but now I’m not so sure…”

“I am smart! I don’t think you understand. If Adora wanted me like that, then she would’ve said it.”

“Well, you know Adora better than I do. But I also know that she missed you for months before she was able to actually tell you.” Scorpia watched as Catra started to storm off to the front door, huffing the entire way. “Be safe! Call me if you need anything!”

Catra made it to her car parked beside the apartment building and tossed her luggage into the backseat before getting in. She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take. Everyone was making such a big deal out of everything, it was exhausting. She turned the key in the ignition and set off down the road, thoughts swarming her mind. If Adora wanted her like that, she’d say something. And if she didn’t...just the thought of it made Catra sick to her stomach. To be seen as a ‘friend’ by the girl she’d had feelings for for so long...It wasn’t exactly her paradise.

By the time Catra pulled into the parking garage beside the chemistry building, the afternoon had started and the cold morning had let its grip loosen. The streets were mostly empty, no one was on campus during winter break unless they had to. She swiped her ID through the card reader beside the large glass doors and heard a _click_ before she pulled the door open.

The plan was to grab the glass vials containing her experimental compositions and get out as fast as possible. Catra wanted to get out of this building before she even got inside.

As the elevator doors opened to her department’s floor, the motion sensor lights kicked on. Her path to the lab was illuminated in blinding white light, somehow making her surroundings even more heartless than before. 

Catra’s mind wandered back to Bright Moon as she crept through the hallways. Did Adora feel this way when she went into work, like a lab rat under a microscope?

She passed the graduate student offices, seeing them completely empty except for Entrapta, who literally never left. Catra was ninety-nine percent sure that she slept under her desk most nights.

Finally, she made it to her lab. She unlocked the door and cracked it open the smallest amount to turn the motion sensor lights off on the wall. If the lights turned on, Dr. Weaver would get a notification and then her entire plan would be ruined. She crept inside, sticking to the walls until she reached the shelves that held her supplies. Catra reached in, grabbing the small, rectangular box that supported the vials she’d been testing for months now. She could almost feel the presence of her experimental set up behind her, mocking her for not making more progress already. It ate away at her.

The sound of heels clicking on the tile floors of the hallway outside forced Catra to panic. She stuffed the box into her bag as quickly as she could and flicked the light switch on. If Dr. Weaver thought she was working like normal, maybe she could avoid her wrath. Fear started filling Catra’s body, reaching into her fingertips and making every hair stand on end at the thought of Dr. Weaver coming in.

Catra’s worst dream came true as Dr. Weaver opened the door to the lab, seemingly unsurprised to find Catra in there even though she hadn’t tripped the motion sensor. Dr. Weaver’s voice cut through her, her mere presence casting shadows over Catra.

“ _Catra._ ” Each word carried a dark presence like Catra had never encountered in her entire life, “What are you doing here? I thought you were on _break._ ”

There was some hidden meaning behind Dr. Weaver’s words, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

Catra backed up as far as she could, until she hit the shelf behind her and heard its contents rattle in place. “Dr. Weaver! Yeah, I am. I just…”

Dr. Weaver kept advancing on her as more and more pressure was placed on Catra. “You’re just _what_ Catra? You shouldn’t be here, meddling with things that you know nothing about.”

By that point, Dr. Weaver was towering over Catra as she belittled her. Every word dug into Catra, ripping out the remaining shreds of confidence she had left. All she could bring herself to do was apologize, to try and escape from the suffocating hold that Dr. Weaver held her in.

Catra dropped her head in submission, her fear overtaking her pride. “Sorry, Dr. Weaver. It won’t happen again.”

Immediately, the pressure lifted. Catra could breathe again and Dr. Weaver took a step back, analyzing her before nodding in approval. “Good. Now run along, _Catra_.”

Catra walked as quickly as she could to the exit of the lab, ducking her head at any sight of another person and trying to will the elevator to go faster. She reached her car, closed the door shut behind her, and screamed.

She screamed in anger, in frustration, in desperation, and in hopelessness.

She couldn’t survive here much longer, and that made her more angry at herself than anything else. Tears wet the edges of her eyes, but the back of Catra’s hand wiped them away before they had a chance to flow. Her fingers wrapped around the top of the steering wheel, white knuckled grip threatening to break it in half.

The thought of Adora, waiting for her back at Bright Moon, brought her to the ground again. At that point, Catra wasn’t even sure if she wanted to go back. The beating she’d just received made her feel frail, weak. Like if someone squeezed her too hard, she’d just break in half. That thought made her even more angry.

In one fluid motion, Catra turned the ignition and sped out of the garage. Her mind was in another place as the white-hot rage filled her with energy. The car quickly escaped the city and the grip of things Catra wanted to leave behind.

She headed North as the Sun proceeded to sink towards the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone said that writing fics is basically the adult version of making your dolls kiss and I think about that every time I write now


	16. Trial and Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra meets Adora at the lab and finally gets down at what's bothering her.

By the time Adora finished preparing the lab for a new set of experiments, it was close to 6:00. It was hard work trying to set everything up by herself, but she wanted it to be ready to go by the time Catra got back. She knew how much this work meant to Catra, and if that was the only way she could help, then so be it. There hadn’t been any new messages from Catra since Adora texted her that morning, and she was starting to get a little worried. Catra should be back any minute now, unless she took a detour or something.

Just as the thought occurred to her, Adora’s phone buzzed.

Catra

> where are you

Adora’s heart skipped a beat at the sight. She hurriedly typed back.

Adora

> I’m at the lab!! I just finished getting everything ready for your experiments !!

She shared her location with Catra as she waited for a reply.

Catra

> okay.

Adora checked her reflection before putting her phone back. To say she was nervous about tonight was an understatement. After that morning...she wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Obviously the two of them weren’t just friends anymore, but the rest was a bit unclear. She wasn’t lying when she told Glimmer that she wanted Catra to be her girlfriend, but saying it to Catra was a little more complicated.

Only a few minutes after Adora shared her location, Catra showed up at the front door of the building, waiting to be let in. The sky had grown dark outside, and Catra was wrapped in a light hoodie. She was looking away from the building, arms crossed, until Adora opened the door to let her in.

Adora could finally see Catra’s expression now. Her jaw was clenched with eyebrows knitted in concentration as Adora greeted her, cautiously, “Hey. Is everything okay?”

Catra’s face didn’t waver as she walked past Adora without spending more than a moment to meet her eyes. Her voice was guarded as she replied, “Everything’s fine. Let’s go.” Catra kept walking towards the elevators without bothering to see if Adora followed her, pressing the button on the panel without saying a word.

Adora knew better than to think Catra was telling the truth right now. But she also knew better than to push her too hard. Too many times had she tried to force Catra to open up, revealing her thoughts, only for Catra to lash out in anger or run away. She needed to be patient, but she’d be here when she was ready.

The ride to the fourth floor was silent. Adora twiddled her thumbs as she watched Catra out of the corner of her eye. She was getting flashbacks from undergrad...the nights spent in the lab, hunched over microscopes until 3am or even later. Tonight probably wouldn’t be too different. If they ran an experiment tonight, at least one of them would have to babysit it while it’s pressure and temperature increased over the course of half an hour. After that, they’d have to keep an eye on it to make sure that the experiment didn’t crash and burn randomly. It was dangerous to leave it alone.

Once the elevator doors opened, Adora stepped out, leading the way to the lab while she heard Catra’s footsteps behind her. The tension in the air had grown since Catra arrived, and Adora really didn’t want to spend the entire night in complete silence. Small talk and chit-chat was better than nothing.

“Well, here it is!” Adora opened the door to the experimental petrology lab with an arm outstretched, guiding Catra’s eyes inside. In it, there were a few windows that lined one wall, with a long workbench covered in well-worn books and places to charge laptops and phones below them. Along another wall sat three experimental apparatuses, already prepped and ready to start once some compositions were added to them. That was what Catra’s glass vials filled with powder were for. In the corner was a lounge chair that was pulled out when people had to stay late and watch the experiments.

Catra’s eyes went wide at the sight of the lab. It was nothing like the one at Fright Zone. For one, the place she worked didn’t even have windows. These looked out across Bright Moon’s skyline, which was admittedly not very tall, but that allowed her to see the outline of round mountains in the west, and the ocean expanding to the horizon in the east. Compared to what Catra was used to, this was paradise.

Catra forced herself to look away from the view as she dropped her bag on the workbench sitting underneath the windows. “Let’s get this over with.” She reached into her bag and grabbed the box containing her experimental compositions before removing the lid and reading the labels on each of them.

Adora interrupted her train of thought. “How about we just start with one, okay? That way you can see how we set it up here.”

Faster than she could process it, Adora watched Catra spin around and lash out at her, “I _know_ how to do it! I’m not an idiot.”

As much as she told herself that Catra didn’t mean to sound so accusatory, it still hurt. “Catra, that’s not what I meant. I know you know how, I just-”

“Whatever.” Catra raised her hand to wave away the rest of Adora’s sentence. “Can we just start already?”

Adora nodded in response, not wanting to upset Catra even more. What was going on with her? This morning, everything was perfect. Now, it seemed like Catra didn’t even want to be in the same room as Adora. 

The next few minutes of preparation were silent, apart from Adora pointing out where to get temperature and pressure readings as the experiment approached its target. Eventually, Catra picked one of her compositions, scooped a tiny portion into the sample cylinder, and put it in the apparatus before closing the blast shields. She grabbed the notebook where she would track the rate of change in the vessel and was about to start until Adora’s hand intercepted Catra’s, stopping her from pressing the button that initiated the experiment.

Catra’s voice was harsh, sharp as her eyes fixated on Adora’s. “ _What?_ ”

Adora felt the sting behind Catra’s words. She just wanted to help. “Do you want me to watch over the first run? Just to make sure it turns out okay?”

The blue and yellow eyes in front of her narrowed as Catra spat the words back at her. “I can do it myself, _Adora_. I don’t need your help.”

Adora pulled her hand away. All she wanted was to be there for Catra. She stepped back silently as Catra brought her finger up to the ‘Start’ button, initiating the first experiment. Adora stepped away before she sat in one of the lounge chairs in the corner. She brought her legs up and crossed them in front of her as she watched Catra from afar. Something was very, very wrong. Catra stood in front of the apparatus, reading the numbers off the display and writing them in the notebook every minute or so. Adora could faintly see them from the other side of the room, and things were going okay so far. Temperature was rising at about one hundred degrees Celsius per minute, and pressure was relatively stable. 

All of a sudden, the pressure gauge started dropping.

Six-thousand psi became five-thousand. Five-thousand became four-thousand.

Catra was looking away at the temperature gauge as it happened, and only Adora noticed it. She saw what was about to happen.

Before she knew what she was doing, she leapt out of her chair and dashed towards Catra, tackling her against the ground.

Catra looked up at Adora, who was now laying on top of her on the tile flooring. “What are you _doing_ Ado-”

**BANG**

The sound was loud enough to deafen them for a few seconds before it dulled and they could hear persistent ringing in both ears. Catra looked over at the apparatus from the ground and saw that nothing had changed, the blast shields were still intact, but the pressure gauge had dropped several thousand psi in only a few seconds.

Adora stood up and ran to the display as fast as she could, slamming a fist onto the large red button with the label, ‘EMERGENCY STOP’. As she did, the slow whistle of depressurization and cracking was heard as the apparatus cooled down. Adora turned away to look at Catra, who was still motionless on the ground with the whites of her eyes threatening to overtake her pupils.

Adora stepped over and reached a hand down, “Are you okay?”

Catra stared back at her, still struggling to process what happened until she slapped away the hand and stood herself up. Her voice was raspy as she spoke, and Adora knew that sound too well. Catra was fighting back tears as she shouted through the lab. “What the _fuck_! Why can’t I do one experiment right?!” Catra could feel the bottle inside her chest loosening, starting to release the feelings that had been trapped outside. She fought back, trying to stay composed, but she couldn’t take it any longer.

“Catra, it happens to the best of us.” Adora pulled her hand back to her chest, cradling it as it stung. “It’s not your fault.”

Catra turned her back to Adora, looking out at the dark skyline, dotted with warm yellow lights. “Then why does this keep happening, Adora?” Her voice cracked as she yelled, “ _Clearly_ , I’m not good enough.”

Adora stepped towards Catra, following her impulse to reach out to her. “Catra, that’s not true! It was just one bad run, it happens! We can try again!”

Catra turned away from the windows, tears in her eyes as she looked at Adora. “I don’t think you get it, Adora. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, can’t you see that?”

Adora took another tentative step forwards, both hands in front of her as she pleaded for Catra to listen. “Catra, yes you do! You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met! You deserve to be here!”

Catra frantically shook her head, letting loose the tears that’d been building up. “No, Adora. No one wants me here. I-” Her breath hitched as she spoke. “I should go.”

Just from the way Catra was speaking, Adora knew this wasn’t about just one thing. She didn’t grab her, but she was within a few feet as she looked into Catra’s eyes. “Catra, please. Angella wants you here.” She swallowed before speaking again. “ _I_ want you here.” Catra didn’t respond as she looked back out the window, but at least she didn’t run away.

Adora continued as she got even closer. “What is this about, Catra?” She wanted to understand. She wanted to be there for her. As she waited for an answer, she started to make the connections in her mind. “Is this about your advisor?”

As soon as she mentioned Dr. Weaver, Catra felt the floor crumbling beneath her feet. She fell, deeper and deeper into a bottomless hole until Adora caught her. “Yeah.” That was mostly true. Seeing Dr. Weaver earlier that day, after trying so hard to get back up and being torn down once again, really hurt her. But also, she didn’t feel like she belonged anywhere. Not at Fright Zone, not here, not with Adora.

Adora could feel the anger building up in her. It wasn’t often she got angry, but the thought of someone hurting Catra made her dig into her palm with her fingernails. Especially the realization that it was someone who was supposed to be supporting her, guiding her through graduate school. It made her sick.

Catra watched as Adora’s blood began to boil, and a part of her really wanted to see Adora kick Dr. Weaver’s teeth in, but she couldn’t let Adora get out of control. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” At that, Adora’s eyes met hers with a large amount of doubt being sent in Catra’s direction. “Okay, it’s not fine. But, I can get through it. I always do.”

It hurt Adora to see Catra like this. It was worse than being stabbed in the gut. Then, an idea popped into her head. “Catra, why don’t you change advisors?”

“What do you mean, ‘why don’t I change advisors?’ No one in my department would live to see the day of taking one of Dr. Weaver’s students away from her.” The idea had occurred to Catra before, but she quickly realized how unfeasible it would be. Dr. Weaver knew how to keep people in line, and she had a remarkable way of keeping the department administration under her thumb.

Adora reached up to rub the back of her neck. “Well, that’s not what I mean.” She paused as she tried to build up the courage to finish her thought. “Angella likes you. And...your work would go well with what we do here.” Adora didn’t want to say that she would also love it if Catra came to Bright Moon, for good.

Catra’s eyes widened a fraction as she processed what Adora was suggesting to her. “You’re saying I should try and transfer to Bright Moon? And work with you?”

“I mean...it would definitely get rid of Shadow Weaver.”

“You do realize that I didn’t get in here when I applied right?” A twinge of bitterness dripped into Catra’s voice as she spoke, even if it was unintentional. “That’s how this all started in the first place. What makes you think I’ll get in the second time?”

Adora fought the urge to step away from Catra, internally recoiling from the pain in her words. “Well...you know Angella now. I’m sure she’d recommend you.” Adora looked back at Catra, her feet shifting as she gauged the mood of the room. Now was better than never. She reached one open palm out towards Catra. “And...I’d like it if you stayed too.” Her voice was soft, almost a whisper that Catra could barely hear over the sound of the air conditioning in the large building.

Maybe it was from the stress getting to her, but Catra actually gave herself permission to consider the possibility. It would be great, if it worked. If it didn’t...she’d probably get fired by Dr. Weaver for even trying. But staying with Adora...that sounded nice. Nicer than anything Catra had experienced in a long time.

Catra reached one of her hands out, dropping it onto Adora’s. “Okay, but this is _not_ because I like you.” As she finished, Adora grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug, wrapping her broad arms around Catra in a tight embrace. Catra was frozen at first, before she let both hands wrap around Adora and grab at her shoulders, breathing in her neck. She smelled a lot better than that morning, like the same strawberry scented shampoo that she used their freshman year. It sent Catra reeling in her place, memories flooding back faster than she could process. She’d looked back on her times with Adora before, but she realized something now. There wasn’t any pain, or regret anymore. Their old times only made her happy now.

Reluctantly, Adora pulled back, holding onto Catra’s shoulders with outstretched arms. Their eyes met, both full of healing wounds. Adora opened her mouth before she really knew what she was going to say. “Catra...I know we haven’t really talked about it.” She couldn’t help but shift her eyes away and look at her boots to try and alleviate the nervousness building inside her with every word. “But...after this morning. And, um. I just wanted to say…”

Catra let a breathy laugh out as she started to get impatient. She jeered Adora on, “C’mon princess. You can do it.”

Adora shifted her eyes back to Catra again as she felt her face heat up. “I just, I wanted to tell you that _I_ want you to be my girlfriend.” She finally got out what she’d been trying to say, but she couldn’t stop herself from going further. “I’m just really happy you’re back, and I realized that I’ve always had feelings for you, ever since we were younger. And I didn’t understand them back then, but I know I want you in my life now, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it, and I-”

Before she could embarrass herself any more, Adora felt Catra’s lips again. They felt familiar this time, warm in the cold lab. Hands grabbed her by the waist as she pulled her arms over Catra’s shoulders. This kiss...this one was different. There was _love_ behind it, not just passion. 

Catra couldn’t listen to Adora talk for another second. She was overcome with joy listening to Adora, but she couldn’t help herself. Her fingers traced the hem of Adora’s jeans as she held onto her hips, brushing against the skin underneath her sweater. She felt Adora’s mouth open the slightest bit while their lips stayed together, and Catra felt the tiniest tickle of Adora’s tongue against her lower lip. _Oh._ As soon as Catra felt a fire ignite within her and prepared to fight back, Adora pulled her lips away, still pressing her body against Catra’s.

A smile spread wide across Adora’s face as she looked at Catra’s disappointed expression. “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you never said yes or no.” Adora’s jab was only half-mocking, and Catra knew it.

It wasn’t often that Catra let herself be vulnerable, but she figured she could make an exception for something that she’d wanted for so, _so_ long. “Yeah. That sounds nice, Adora.” It may not have been much, but both of them knew how much it meant. Catra started to lean back in, trying to finish what she started until Adora twirled out of her arms. “Hey!”

Adora pointed a finger back at Catra, teasing her. “Save it for when we’re _not_ in the lab, Catra. _You’ve_ got work to do.” Getting back into the groove of how they used to be, after finally talking about everything, felt easier than ever. This was how things were meant to be, and Adora was having fun keeping up with Catra again.

Catra groaned in response. “Ugh. Fine!” If she had to wait, she’d wait.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adora checked the time on her phone.

_2:32AM_

She let out a yawn in the dark room as her back pressed against the base of the lounge chair. Catra was asleep above her, legs curled up into the seat while she used her hoodie as a blanket. Adora looked over her face. It was peaceful. Soft. Adora didn’t think she could ever accurately describe her feelings to Catra, but she hoped that Catra understood them without saying.

From her spot on the cold, tile floor, Adora looked at the temperature and pressure display on the experiment. After her and Catra’s… _conversation_ , Catra was willing to let Adora help with the experiment. And so far, it was going flawlessly. In the morning, they’d check the readings again and then it should be safe to leave it alone until it was done in a couple days. That gave her and Catra some time to themselves until they needed to start another experiment and get Catra’s LPSC abstract ready. 

Adora was entirely zoned out until Catra’s raspy voice almost made her jump up from the floor. “I can literally hear you thinking.”

“Geez Catra! You scared the hell out of me.” She raised a hand to her chest as she heard Catra chuckle.

“Not my fault you have the nerves of a baby rabbit.” Catra dropped a hand down from the chair to run her fingers through Adora's disheveled hair. Adora closed her eyes and leaned back into Catra’s touch, savoring the casual intimacy of the moment.

Adora opened her eyes as she spoke, still refusing to move away from the feeling of Catra’s fingers against her scalp. “You know, this reminds me a lot of when we had to go in late to finish our labs in undergrad.”

Catra pulled her hand out of Adora’s hair and started scratching the nape of her neck. Clearly, Adora liked it as she craned her neck forward to give Catra a bigger surface area. Catra toyed with her, “Hmm. I don’t remember you making out with me back then...I don’t think I’d forget something like that.”

Adora turned around to punch Catra in the thigh. “I’m serious!”

Catra put both her hands up in defense as they both laughed. Then, the room went silent.

They both sat there for a few minutes, comfortable with each other’s presence until Adora started to speak her mind. “I know I’ve already said this Catra, but I really am sorry for not letting you in sooner. I didn’t understand my own feelings back then. Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

Catra scoffed at Adora’s apology. “You don’t need to apologize Adora.” She paused as she looked away. “I’m sorry. For running away. Thank you for giving _me_ a second chance.”

“Catra, you shouldn’t be sorry! I’m the one who-” Catra raised a finger to Adora’s lips, stopping her from continuing.

“If you’re allowed to be sorry, then so am I. Deal with it.”

Adora huffed at that, shifting where she sat, trying to get comfortable without a cushion. Catra watched her shift before groaning and scooting over. “Ugh. Come on, I guess.”

Adora looked up into Catra’s eyes, confused. “What?”

Catra rolled her eyes as she spoke, trying to seem like she didn’t want this too. “We can fit two people on here. If you sleep like that you’re gonna have the world’s worst back in the morning.” A smile spread across Adora’s face as she realized what Catra was suggesting, until Catra had to ruin it, “Ugh. Hurry up before I change my mind.”

Adora stood up and, after a minute of trying to find the most comfortable position, they ended up with Adora lying down on her back and Catra resting her head on her chest. Catra’s arm draped across Adora’s stomach, feeling how hard it was even when Adora was relaxing.

Within minutes, the feeling of Adora’s hand in Catra’s hair and the thrum of Adora’s heartbeat in one ear had forced Catra to fall asleep.

Adora was able to fend sleep off for a little longer, eyes watching Catra and counting her breaths, just like she’d done a million times before.


	17. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra's experiment is going well, and she joins Adora's friends for trivia!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW. Sorry this chapter took so long y'all!! It's been a wild week for me...I've had to move out of a house and I'm moving in with my girlfriend tomorrow (stressful but EXCITING) and I also had a ton of end-of-summer research work that I've had to do that was insane. You might have also noticed that I've updated how long this fic will be! That includes an epilogue at the end, so!

Adora sat in the corner of her favorite on-campus cafe as she waited for her name to be called. The inside walls were composed of exposed brick with ramshackled wooden floorboards holding up a few tables scattered around the one-room restaurant. It was a brisk morning in Bright Moon, with a few flurries of snow dancing in the wind outside. The street was pretty empty, except for a few people that looked like professors or other graduate students trying to get as much work done before the undergraduates got back. At the moment, Adora was trying her best to relax. Her back was as stiff as a board, even if it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, thanks to Catra. She was thinking about the conversation she and Catra had last night, about transferring to Bright Moon University and working under Angella. It wasn’t going to be easy. Dr. Weaver certainly wasn’t going to take it lying down, and it wasn’t even a guarantee that Catra would be accepted. Adora thought the admissions committee would be stupid to reject her again, especially after a sparkling recommendation from Angella, but it was hard for Adora not to consider the worst-case scenario.

Her head shot up as a melodic, brash voice called out across the empty cafe. “One chocolate croissant and a breakfast burrito with two large coffees for Adoraaaaaa!” Adora looked at the counter, surprised to see none other than a man with shiny mustache and intentionally tousled hair.

Adora stood from her seat and approached the counter, sufficiently confused. “Seahawk? I thought you worked at the Half-Barrel?” She ripped open two sugar packets and poured them, along with an ungodly amount of cream, into one of the coffees while leaving the other one black.

Seahawk leaned one elbow on the counter, propping his chin up as he looked at Adora. “Well, the Half-Barrel owns me on nights. During the slow season though,” he raised both hands to gesture towards the empty seating area, “this lovely establishment pays my rent!” He paused for a second, waiting for a response from Adora, but he continued before she could think of one. “Say, who’s the lucky lass that you’re buying breakfast for?”

Adora’s gut reaction was to be sheepish when it came to her feelings, but now...she didn’t have anything to be embarrassed about. She was _dating_ someone. Not just anyone, but _Catra_. A feeling of pride swelled up inside Adora as she pointed her chin upwards. “Oh, no one...Just my _girlfriend_.” An idea popped into her head that would definitely embarrass Catra at trivia later. “We had a late night last night, so I thought I’d do her a favor.”

Seahawk’s hands rocketed up to his cheeks in shock, a loud gasp escaping his mouth. “Adora! You have a GIRLFRIEND?” They were both lucky that the cafe was empty except for the bored-looking woman working the register, because Seahawk was practically yelling at this point. He leaned forward, almost entirely on the other side of the counter. “Is it that girl from the Christmas party?! You two are _perfect_ for each other.”

That made Adora blush through her confident exterior, but she tried to maintain her composure. “Psh. Obviously.” Seahawk gasped again, eyes sparkling as he listened to Adora. She tried to look for an escape. “Anyways, I better get back to her before the coffee gets cold.”

Seahawk stood back up, hand snapping to a salute. “Of course Adora! Stay warm out there!”

Adora popped her two coffees into a drink carrier and stacked the food on top to try and keep them warm. She stepped out of the shop and was immediately hit by a freezing wind, whipping her ponytail behind her as she turned toward the Earth and Planetary Science Building a couple blocks away. If she knew anything about Seahawk, it’s that he was a drama queen. News would probably spread to their entire friend group like wildfire. Glimmer would probably yell at her for telling Seahawk before anyone else, but it was worth it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of the lab door opening roused Catra from her sleep as she blinked away the fog over her eyes. Adora had turned the motion sensors off before they fell asleep last night and the room was only lit by the dim sunlight streaming through the windows opposite Catra’s makeshift bed. She lifted a hand in front of her face to shield her eyes before groaning, “Ugh. Keep it down. I’m trying to sleep.”

Adora looked to Catra, seeing the thin strap of her top dropping down off of her shoulder as she rustled in the chair. The blind confidence she felt while talking to Seahawk managed to transform at the sight of Catra’s collarbone being washed over by a beam of sunlight. Adora swallowed her thoughts and tried to change the subject, setting their breakfast on the lab bench before starting to unpack it. She joked with her girlfriend, trying to draw the attention away from herself, “Alright, if you say so. I guess I’ll eat your chocolate croissant then.”

At the mention of her favorite breakfast, Catra snapped up from her place in the old lounge chair, pupils dilating in the morning light. “What did you just say?”

Adora smiled knowingly as she took the flaky pastry out of its wrapping and dangled it by her side so Catra could see it. Without turning her head, she heard Catra rush out of her seat and felt her grab the treat out of Adora’s hand before digging into it. Within seconds, Catra had wolfed down the croissant, leaving crumbs dusted around her mouth. Catra didn’t have to say anything for Adora to know that she made the right choice.

Adora slid the almost milk-white coffee in front of Catra before she spoke, “I got your favorite. Two sugars and a gallon of cream.”

Catra accepted it, sheepishly cradling it in both hands as she realized that Adora read her like a book and she’d played right into it. “Psh. I don’t even like coffee. Or pastries.” Catra turned to face the experimental apparatus lining the wall of the laboratory as she pivoted, “Looks like it made it through the night. Thanks. For your help, I mean.” Catra held the coffee up to her mouth as she took a long sip, allowing a rare and uncomfortable display of vulnerability to escape from her lips. She blamed it on how early it was.

An elbow hit Catra in the ribs. “Thanks for finally letting me help.” Adora was standing at her side, wrapping an arm around Catra’s shoulders as she comforted her.

Catra shoved the muscular arm off of her, pretending she didn’t like it. “Argh. I could’ve done it myself.”

“Riiiiiiight. Of course you could.” Adora’s smirk faded as she analyzed the display on the apparatus too, gears turning in her mind. “I think it should be okay to leave now.” She gasped as she realized that their day was almost entirely free. “Do you know what that means, Catra?!”

Catra met her gaze, a little annoyed at the enthusiasm so early in the morning but admittedly curious about Adora’s plans. “...What?”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time the sun was setting, Adora had practically carried Catra through a personal tour of Bright Moon and all of Adora’s favorite spots. Catra’s personal favorite was what the locals called “Makeout Point.” They both keeled over laughing at the name. It was the tallest hill around, right outside of the city. You could drive up and park at an overlook that had some of the best three-hundred-and-sixty views you could find. The other places that Adora dragged her to were two bookstores, a local Mexican place for lunch, the beach, a small and poorly funded art museum, a botanical garden, and two different parks. Catra was exhausted, dragging her feet as they approached their final destination. It was a long day, and Catra didn’t like most of the places they went, but seeing Adora so happy made it worth it (that didn’t mean she had to admit that, though).

Catra forced her head to look up at the ugly building in front of her. Who the hell designs a bar to look like a barrel turned on its side? She looked at Adora leading the way to the front door, seeing a wide grin on her face. “What the hell is this place?”

Adora gestured to the facade of the “Half-Barrel” like it was the fountain of youth, arms spreading wide with sparkling eyes. “This is the _Half-Barrel_ , Catra! It’s where we go for trivia and it has the best calzones in town.”

“Wait, we’re still doing trivia?” Catra was exhausted. She just wanted to go to bed, even if it was Adora’s couch that waited for her instead.

Adora’s shoulders started to droop as she listened to Catra, a little dejected. “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Her tone shifted, “Buuuuuuut Bow and Glimmer are waiting for us inside, so.”

“Uggggh. Fine.” Catra approached the front door, glaring at Adora as she pulled the handle open and letting some of the heat escape into the cold winter night. “You owe me for this.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll pay you back.”

Catra didn’t have long to contemplate what _that_ meant as she entered the room. Booths and tables were all filled with three or four people each, and a lot of them Catra recognized. Wait, what? Catra’s eyes scanned the different faces scattered around the room. Tons of them were people from the Christmas party. Seahawk, Mermista, and Perfuma were at one table. Netossa, Spinnerella, and a younger girl that Catra hadn’t seen before were at another. And in the middle of it all, Bow and Glimmer were practically glowing as they waved to her. She felt Adora check her shoulder as she passed Catra, calling back as she walked towards Bow and Glimmer. “C’mon! I thought you were supposed to be the fast one.”

Catra followed her, wanting to bite back but still too confused to process everything. She and Adora filled the two empty chairs at Bow and Glimmer’s table before she couldn’t take it anymore. “Okay, what the hell is going on?”

Adora leaned her chair back on two legs, realizing that Catra totally forgot about tonight. There were two beers on the table already, and a menu to the side.

Glimmer got to the punch before Bow could. “Ugh, don’t tell me you were so busy making out with Adora that you _forgot_ you volunteered to join our trivia team. You’re gonna carry us over the finish line!”

Oh. Right. She did agree to that.

Wait, making out?

Glimmer’s voice broke through Catra’s mind before she could get a word in. “Speaking of which, I can’t _believe_ you told Seahawk about you two before you told me!”

Adora was clearly trying to avoid the subject as she pretended to suddenly find something very interesting about the beige walls. After her attempt was pretty unsuccessful, she dropped her chair back onto four legs and put her elbows on the table. “Well, he was just the first person I ran into this morning! It’s not personal!”

A chuckle came from beside Adora as Catra laughed. “You _seriously_ couldn’t help from telling the first person you saw today that we’re dating now?” She let another high-pitched giggle escape from her chest. “Wow, you really are softer than you look.”

“I am not!”

It was Bow’s turn to keep this conversation on track. “ _Anyways_ , we have to know.” He and Glimmer leaned over the table in unison as they interrogated the couple, “Who pulled the first move?”

Catra raised a finger to her lips as she thought about it. “Well...I guess Adora. She’s the one who kissed _me_ and asked me out.” Bow raised a fist in the air as Adora crossed her arms and donned a proud smirk. “What?”

Glimmer kept talking as she started to dig through her purse and pull her wallet out. “Oh, it’s no big deal, we had a bet on which one of you would initiate things. I gotta say,” she handed a twenty-dollar bill to Bow, “I wasn’t expecting it to be Adora.”

Catra looked to her side at the self-righteous blonde woman sitting next to her. “Y’know, I’m starting to really like this Shimmer girl.”

For a brief second, Glimmer looked flattered, until she heard the rest of the sentence. “Hey! It’s _Glimmer!_ ”

Within a few minutes, Adora had gone to the bar to get a couple beers for her and Catra and ordered a giant calzone for them to share. The bar was starting to get a little more crowded, and Catra was surprised at how well she was getting along with Adora’s friends. And it felt good, to be included like she was part of the department too. It was...nice.

All of a sudden, a man in a cheap suit with a black, graying beard and long hair approached a podium at the front of the restaurant. Adora elbowed Catra and whispered into her ear when she saw her confusion, “Micah is the best MC ever. He can be a little awkward but he means well.”

Micah tapped the microphone on the podium, sending feedback into the speakers that were nestled into every corner of the room. “Ahem. Hello everyone! I hope you’re all staying warm and enjoying some nice, refreshing beers courtesy of our friends at Half-Barrel!” Half of the people sitting were silent and the other half (mainly people from Adora’s department, started to cheer for the waitstaff and bartenders watching everything. “Now, tonight will be incredibly exciting. The setup will be normal, but for those who haven’t come here before, listen up! There are three rounds tonight. Each round will have questions worth a certain number of points. The first round’s questions are worth five points, the second’s are ten, and the third’s are twenty. This may tempt you into hedging all your bets into the third round, but keep in mind, it will only get harder as we go on! There will be five questions per round, and each one will come from a different category. Science, Art, Pop Culture, Sports, and History. Now, if each of your teams will bring a slip of paper with your team name up to my podium, we can get started!”

Catra turned away from the speech, soaking in most of it at least. “So, what’s your team name?”

Bow and Glimmer turned their heads towards Adora, waiting for her to answer. Catra turned to saw her suddenly turn a deep red and bite her lip in embarrassment. “Umm...it’s uh...it’s...Etheria’s Angels...”

The color of Catra’s face matched Adora’s now. “What?! You named your trivia team after our old volleyball team?”

A sputtering chuckle came from Glimmer across the table from the two beet-red women while Bow’s eyes started to sparkle. “That. Is. So. CUTE!”

Adora tried to cover her face with a raised hand, but her blush got even deeper. “It’s just, trivia names are hard to come up with, and that one was just there and we had to write _something_ down, so! It just kinda stuck!”

“Wow. I can’t believe I’m dating someone so corny.” Catra grabbed the notepad and pencil from the center of the table and scribbled their name on it before standing up and going to drop it off at the podium. When she made it, Micah looked up from some papers he had spread out with surprise.

“Catra! Oh I’m so glad you could make it! I was wondering when you’d finally come to one of our ritual trivia nights.” Micah was all-smiles as he talked, looking genuinely ecstatic to see Catra.

Catra was a little taken aback by the man in front of her. Every single second she spent in Bright Moon, the more comfortable she started to feel. It was...weird. “Yeah, um...I’m happy I could come too.”

Micah leaned over the counter, putting the back of his hand against his face like he was telling her a secret. “You know, just between you and me, Glimmer is pretty serious about who she let’s join her team.” His tone shifted from secretive to joking, “Try not to absolutely obliterate everyone alright? Anyway, get back to your table so we can start!”

Catra obeyed, and by the time she got back, a giant calzone had been placed between her and Adora. Adora was already stuffing one corner into her mouth as Catra sat down and Micah’s voice filled the room again.

“Alright players! The time has come to begin the first round of tonight’s game! When your team has decided on an answer, write it down and have someone bring it up front.”

Catra looked over at Adora as she listened. Adora’s hair was pulled back in its classic ponytail, like always, and she looked so intensely at Micah. Her hair was immaculate, except for one strand that fell to the side of Adora’s face. It pulled her focus away as it fell, and she blew it to the side, only for it to fall back again. She reached out without thinking and tucked it behind Adora’s ear.

The feeling of Catra’s fingers against Adora’s face set her heart ablaze. It was so soft, so gentle, Adora could barely believe it happened.

“Drumroll please…” Seahawk started drumming his table as Mermista’s groan could be heard across the room. “The science category. We’ll start with an easy one. Which of our solar system’s planets has the most moons?”

Bow and Glimmer didn’t hesitate to stare at Adora and Catra expectantly, until Adora shrugged her shoulders. “Catra’s the moon girl.” She turned to Catra.

“It’s Jupiter.”

Glimmer raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”

Catra glared back at her. “Uh, duh. That’s an elementary school question.”

Glimmer wrote “Jupiter” on their slip and turned it in. A couple minutes later, Micah announced the answer and Etheria’s Angels were awarded their first five points.

By the time the third round ended, Bow and Glimmer were wasted and Catra and Adora were both a couple drinks in. Adora had her arm draped over the back of Catra’s chair as Catra leaned back against it with her eyes closed. Adora had noticed that they’d naturally gravitated towards each other as the night went on, slowly inching closer and closer until their bodies were practically joined at the hip. Neither of them said anything about it, and Adora certainly wasn’t about to bring it up and ruin it.

Bow sat up from where he was slouched over the table and pointed across at Adora with a half-empty beer glass. “I can’t _stand_ how cute you two are.” His words were a little slurred, but still comprehensible. 

Catra’s eyes shot open before she leaned forward to fight back after hearing Bow. “I am _not_ cute. How many times do I have to tell you people that?” As she leaned back into her seat, she wrapped her arm around Adora’s waist, pulling herself even closer and resting her head on Adora’s chest.

Bow pointed again. “See! That’s what I meeaaann. Glimmer look!”

Glimmer lifted her own head from where it was face down on the table, undoubtedly trying to keep from getting dizzy. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the couple across from her. “Ugh. Get a room.” Catra started to hear her heartbeat in her ears, or maybe it was Adora that she could hear in her chest. She wasn’t sure.

Adora lifted her chin slightly as she responded, “Psh. Don’t be so rude Glimmer, besides, what’re you gonna do if we leave? Catra’s been carrying us all night.”

At the mention of the game, Micah’s familiar voice came through the speakers again, making the entire table jump. “The tiebreaker is about to begin everyone! Just to remind you all of the current standings, tied for first place are Etheria’s Angels,” all four of them cheered at the mention of their team, “and The Dolphin Social.” Seahawk and Mermista started cheering from their table while Perfuma just raised her fists in the air.

Micah cleared his throat before he continued. “Okay, so the final question of the night: which celestial body inside our Solar System has the largest volcano?”

Adora and Catra stared at each other, gears turning in both of their heads until Adora raised a hand to her chin and broke the silence. “Well, Io, one of Jupiter’s moons, is the most volcanically active.”

Bow interrupted. “Could it be a trick question? What if it’s Earth? I mean, how many volcanoes are in our solar system anyway?” 

Catra piped up from her place on Adora’s chest. “You’d be surprised Arrow Boy. I think it’s Mars. It’s got like, a volcano that’s three times taller than Everest. I’m pretty sure that’s it.”

Adora and Bow both looked satisfied with that. Adora’s chest rumbled as she spoke. “I trust you, go for it.” Catra looked over to Bow and Glimmer, where Glimmer gave a thumbs up without looking up and Bow just smiled from his spot on the other side of the table.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adora opened the door to her apartment, knocking her feet on the doormat to break the snow off and talking to Catra as she did. “I can’t believe you won trivia the first night you played. That was just beginner’s luck.”

Catra followed in after her, mimicking the motion before kicking her shoes off and onto the floor of the hallway. “Psh. Yeah right! You all wouldn’t have stood a chance without me. I’m so glad I wasn’t there to witness you crashing and burning the past few times.” Catra started walking to meet Adora. “Actually, I would _kill_ to see that.”

Adora turned to face Catra in the living room, watching her approach. “Yeah well, we’re never gonna let you go after this. The rest of the department is gonna scramble to get you on their teams.”

Catra finally caught up to Adora, looking up to her as she stood within inches of her chest. “What? You want me all to yourself?”

The warmth of Catra’s body radiated onto Adora’s, and she couldn’t help but swallow at the sight of Catra’s grin.

“Yeah. Maybe I do.” Adora felt warm. The alcohol from the night out still ran through her blood, only adding tinder to the fire starting to glow inside her. “Remember how you said that if I remembered asking you to stay in my bed, you’d think about it?”

For all that Catra was expecting out of tonight, she couldn’t say that this was on the list. But...she definitely wanted it nonetheless. It was a fantastic night. She’d had a ton of fun with Adora and her friends, and it felt _right_. And the thought of being with Adora like this...it was magical. Her ears turned white-hot as she imagined it. “Yeah, I remember.”

Adora reached a hand out to grab Catra’s chin with her thumb and forefinger, pulling it closer to her face. 

“So, what do you think?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right, the next chapter will be that eventual smut you've all been waiting for!! I'll include a disclaimer and details on the next chapter, so don't worry!


	18. Questions Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora finally get some time alone to do some things they've wanted for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off: this is a purely NSFW smut chapter!!
> 
> Second: Holy shit y'all. I know it's been forever since I've updated this fic, and I'm so genuinely sorry and grateful to those hanging in there for the completion. I was hit with some serious writer's block in August because I've never written smut before, and it was no coincidence that the last update was posted the same day that I moved into an apartment with my gf. I also had classes start soon after that, then my dog died, and we got some cats. All that, plus my own job of doing research during the pandemic (I hope y'all are staying safe), made it extremely hard to make time to finish this chapter. Also, it gave me some time to work on my own writing. While I was working on the later chapters, I had lost a lot of motivation and pride in my writing. I wasn't proud of it, and it was really hard to bring myself to work on it. I started another Catradora AU to take my mind off it without getting out of practice (Olympic Volleyball AU, which I'm sure isn't a surprise to any of y'all), and I started to brainstorm and get excited about this story again. So here I am! I actually wanted this chapter to be like three times longer and not solely smut, but I wanted y'all to get an update AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! So, finally, enjoy and please forgive me for taking so long to get back! I HOPE YOU ENJOY.
> 
> Also, I recently made a Twitter to talk about Catradora brainrot and share art and writing and jokes, so follow me if you want! We can also talk about my fics if you'd like! @billyspilgrimag

Adora reached a hand out to grab Catra’s chin with her thumb and forefinger, pulling it closer to her face. 

“So, what do you think?”

The pressure of Adora’s thumb on her chin was mind-numbing when it was combined with those blue eyes that stared into Catra’s soul. She didn’t think Adora was exactly the forward type when it came to things like this, but apparently she was wrong. Catra felt Adora’s want in her _bones_ , and that realization made fire coarse through her veins.

“I think I can fit you into my schedule.” Catra felt Adora’s warm breath as she leaned in further, less than an inch away from Catra’s mouth as her blue eyes stared through her.

Adora’s lips curled upwards in a soft grin as she let out another hot breath, coating over Catra. “What? You got other girls begging you to come to bed?” The way she talked was like an angel’s sonata to Catra’s ears. It was intoxicating. Every nerve on her body begged to be touched, to be held. The fact that Adora was _only_ pinching her chin was infuriating.

Adora gave a soft pull with her thumb, spreading Catra’s lips apart as she glanced down at them and back up to Catra’s eyes. Every time Adora looked at her and really took her in, she was blown away by how _pretty_ she was. It had driven her crazy for years. She loved teasing Catra, but she wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold back either. Adora wanted her, every inch of her, right now. The only thing keeping her from taking it was the joy she got seeing Catra try to keep up. But that delicate balance could only last so long, until Catra would push her over to one side or the other.

Catra matched her smile to Adora’s, finally hitting her own groove as she taunted her. “Hmm. I’m sure Lonnie would be down if I asked…” Obviously that was a lie, but Adora didn’t know that. Catra watched as that confident exterior cracked as Adora thought she might be serious, until she continued playing with her. “I’d like to try you on for size first though.”

The whiplash was intense, but that’s all Catra had to say to shift her partner into high gear. In one swift motion, Adora released Catra from her grip and shifted her arms to hoist Catra up by her waist and press her back against the wall as Catra’s legs wrapped around Adora’s broad torso. Catra was still trying to catch her breath as plush lips pressed into her, filling the void in her mouth with sweet, warm air. She felt Adora’s biceps flex beneath her sleeves, muscles rippling up to her shoulders.

This was...electric. Catra wanted more. Every place that Adora touched her burned and it wasn’t _near_ enough. She spread her lips, trying to take more of Adora into her when her thoughts were torn to shreds by the feeling of Adora in her mouth, soft and gentle but hungry.

Adora held Catra against the wall as she pulled her face away, looking back at Catra’s flushed face as she tried to catch her breath. Catra let out an involuntary whine as Adora pulled back, chasing after her lips with her own as Adora watched her. It was as endearing to Adora as it was embarrassing to Catra.

Adora’s eyes crinkled at the edges as she watched Catra pout before saying softly, “Wow, you really like me huh?”

Catra looked back with a mixture of hatred and unfortunate affection. It really wasn’t fair for Adora to be this hot _and_ annoying. “Y’know what? Maybe I should go.” Catra made a show out of pretending to escape Adora’s arms as Adora strengthened her grip and pressed Catra firmly against her chest, something Catra totally _didn’t_ like.

Adora flipped Catra around to hoist her over her shoulders in a fireman-carry and brought Catra through the threshold of her bedroom. One part of Catra’s mind fought to escape the hold, but the sight of Adora’s back and ass through her jeans was enough to keep those instincts at bay. When they made it close to the bed, Adora practically threw Catra down as she landed with a bounce on the springs. Catra was more than ready for Adora to jump on top of her, but Adora had this look on her face, almost worried.

“What?”

Adora bent down to Catra’s level, meeting her eyes as she spoke, “Is this okay?”

The gentleness of Adora’s words struck Catra in a way that she wasn’t expecting. The care that Adora held Catra with made her heart flutter. She was so kind and soft. Adora wouldn’t hurt a fly even if her life depended on it. It made Catra see the future, a future with Adora. She could see herself happy with her. Forever. But right now, more important things stood in front of her.

“Please, just take your clothes off already.”

Adora’s worried eyebrows faded and that _stupid_ smirk came back to her, the one Catra saw in her dreams. “Is that a yes?”

She really wanted Catra to beg for it, huh?

“YES! YES!” Catra practically screamed out. This was getting frustrating and she couldn’t take it anymore. “Yes! A million times yes! Stop being such a tea-” She was cut off by Adora’s body shifting to straddle hers on the bed and the beautiful sensation of those lips slotting against hers again.

Their heads were tilted, breath heavy as Catra’s hands reached for the hem of Adora’s shirt, slipping under it and clawing at Adora’s back. Adora let out a soft moan as Catra’s nails dug in, only encouraging her as she drank in those delightful sounds.

Adora obeyed Catra’s pleas, sitting up from her elbows and pulling Catra’s shirt overhead, revealing a delicate, black lace bralette underneath. It was gorgeous, a hint of Catra’s breasts visible at the center of her chest. She couldn’t resist bending down to kiss every exposed piece of Catra’s skin, starting from where the bralette converges in the center and moving up to Catra’s neck.

Catra craned her head to give Adora more space beneath her chin, then closed her eyes in pure bliss. If she could just do that forever, that would be amazing. She knew then that she’d get cravings for those kinds of kisses in the future, disrupting her work as all she could think about was Adora on top of her. She moved a hand up to Adora’s tight ponytail and started to tug the hair tie out, letting wisps of soft, blonde hair cascade over Adora’s shoulders and onto Catra’s face and chest. Adora kept travelling upwards, avoiding Catra’s attempts at having their lips meet again as she sucked on the skin beneath Catra’s ear, letting it go with a _pop_ as Catra couldn’t help but let out a whimper.

Adora pulled away again, looking approvingly at the wet spots dotting Catra’s neck and chest until Catra opened her eyes.

Catra’s cheeks blossomed as she realized Adora was watching her intently, reading every detail of her face. She grumbled, “What are you looking at?”

“Oh, nothing.” Adora stuttered, “You’re just...you’re so pretty it hurts.” It was true. Catra’s heavy eyelids, freckles dotting across her nose and cheeks, her swollen lips, and the way she looked at Adora...with such adoration. God. It was almost too much.

Catra laughed, letting the air in her lungs empty out into the dark bedroom as she looked back at Adora with way more than lust in her blue and yellow eyes.

“You talk too much.”

Reaching up, Catra locked her fingers around Adora’s neck and pulled her back to the ground. The feeling of Adora’s lips on hers again was like finally being able to breath after being underwater for way too long. Adora responded by moving a rough, calloused hand beneath Catra’s hips and lifting her up easily. The warmth of Adora’s hand pressing into Catra’s lower back spread like wildfire through her chest and started a low flame between Catra’s legs.

Catra was tired of this taking so long, and she _really_ wanted to see those abs she’d only had the chance to feel before. Moving a hand from Adora’s neck, she hooked the bottom of Adora’s shirt and pulled it swiftly up to Adora’s head, forcing her partner to lift her up again to dislodge the arm underneath Catra before letting the top come off.

Catra basked in Adora’s light.

She ran a long fingernail up from Adora’s belt, feeling the dip between each row of abs and savoring every rise and fall until she reached Adora’s sports bra. She had to take a minute to appreciate Adora, the girl she’d spent so many years with, but never fully allowed herself to look. Really look.

Adora’s smooth, tongue-in-cheek voice interrupted her staring. “Can I help you?”

Catra’s eyes moved from Adora’s breasts above her to those deep blue eyes that looked deep into her soul. Warmth emanated from them and shone down onto Catra like the Sun on her Moon during a solar eclipse. Catra was caught in the headlights, a reversal of that field trip to the beach so long ago. Tonight, the Sun finally had full access to the Moon, with all of Earth hidden behind the two of them.

“I’m just...appreciating the view.” 

The deep red of roses spread across Adora’s cheeks at the sound of that. “Well, I can model for you if you want, but then I’d have to let you go.”

Catra hummed in pleasure before responding, savoring the feeling of Adora’s legs straddling her. “Mmm. I’d rather you not, thanks.” She leaned up to meet Adora where she sat, reuniting their lips in a desperate need for Adora’s touch against her skin, wherever she could get it, but hopefully more.

Adora held her up as they kissed, feeling Catra inside of her mouth and savoring the taste of tonight. Catra took her chance to cup one of Adora’s breasts, letting it rest against her palm and mold against her fingertips as she gently caressed it until feeling a firm bump protrude through the bra. Testing the waters, Catra thumbed the nipple through the fabric until the soft vibrations of a moan filled her mouth.

Catra took the message, slipping her hands underneath the bra and cradling Adora in both hands, drinking in the soft moans like wine. The warmth between her thighs began to spread, spilling into her stomach and pushing her heart to beat faster and faster, only spurred by the _delicious_ sounds Adora was making. When she thought she’d had enough, she took her mouth away, this time watching Adora follow her instinctually as she moved to her chest, taking a breast into her mouth as Adora’s head tilted back in pleasure and blonde hair spilled backwards.

Catra enjoyed taking care of Adora, to say the least. So much weighed on Adora’s shoulders during the day that to give her those precious moments of release, of ecstasy, made Catra go wild. And Adora loved it for the exact same reason.

Tackling her, Catra had Adora spread out on the comforter of her bed. She’d gotten that silly sports bra off, and finished yanking the skinny jeans off from around Adora’s ankles when Adora met her eyes.

Catra saw the care in them, and spoke first. “Is this okay?”

Adora smiled at that, at the compassion in Catra’s voice that she wasn’t willing to show anyone else. It reminded her how much she lov—liked— her. “I’m positive.”

“You sure? ‘Cause I can still leave if you want?” Catra jerked her thumb at the door over her shoulder, trying to egg Adora on even though she already had her pants off.

Adora grabbed her hand, pulling the brunette close enough to feel her breath wash over her face. “Yeah. I’m sure, kitten. Now get your bra off too.” She spoke with such strength, Catra seemed to be in shock for a minute as Adora grabbed the hem and lifted it above Catra’s head, kissing her once it was gone and relishing in Catra’s exposed chest.

Catra came back from Earth, recovering from her soul leaving her body when Adora talked to her like _that_. “Holy shit, did you just call me kitten?”

Blue eyes went wide in embarrassment. “Oh shit, I’m sorry! Do you not like that? Was that bad?”

There’s the Adora that Catra knew so well. She let out a raspy laugh, feeling her chest rub against Adora’s as she moved. “No, princess. I loved it. I just didn’t realize you had it in you.”

She moved back into position, feeling Adora’s softened lips against her own again as she brushed a hand against Adora’s bare thigh, feeling the bristles of hair against her fingers as Adora quivered beneath her touch. She savored every shake, every inch of pale skin as she methodically worked her way up the woman’s thigh, noting the pace of Adora’s breathing coming faster and faster.

Adora moved her mouth to Catra’s breast at the same time that Catra felt the wet cotton between Adora’s legs, moans of pleasure escaping in harmony into the dark bedroom that they shared.

The feeling of Catra’s fingers exploring her made Adora’s stomach flip, the feeling of fabric still between them driving her mad with impatience.

“ _Please._ ”

Catra played dumb, the sound of her begging music to her ears. “What was that?”

“Pleeaase, Catra.”

She prodded further, feeling lips spread beneath the damp material. Catra sang her words, savoring every second of this, “I can’t hear you.”

Adora’s voice was growing more and more desperate, words turning to prayers as they escaped her lips, “Please, please, ple-”

Catra cut her off, slipping the fabric to one side and sliding two fingers into her with ease. She watched as Adora’s face transitioned from desperation to pure pleasure in the blink of an eye as her back arched against the mattress. Catra purred as she gazed into the goddess’ face, “Were you saying something?”

If Adora tried to respond, the sound stopped in her mouth as she clamped her lips shut, muffling her moans as she opened those pretty blue eyes to meet Catra’s. One of her hands was hanging onto the sheets as Catra began to move her fingers slowly, each motion adding fuel to Adora’s pyre. Her other hand was wrapped around Catra’s back, blunt fingertips desperately trying to find purchase against the slender frame until they found Catra’s curly hair and worked themselves into it near the base of her skull.

All Adora could do to respond to the waves of pleasure Catra was sending through her body was try not to wake her entire apartment building up. Catra’s fingers were magic, every pulse lighting her nerves on fire as she _ached_ for release. It seemed like Catra could read her mind as she raised a thumb to brush against her clit with each motion, knowing exactly what she needed to do to get Adora where she wanted to go, but she wanted something else too.

Struggling to keep her voice down, Adora got Catra’s attention with her eyes. “Hey.” Her voice was way more breathless and weak than she meant for it to sound. “I want you too.”

Catra gave a soft smirk back before responding with a chuckle, “And what does that mean?” Her fingers slowed, but they stayed inside of her.

“C’mere. Take _those_ off and lay on top of me.” Adora shot her eyes at Catra’s underwear, the last piece of clothing that both of them wore, and they both laughed at their hurriedness.

After a minute of twisted limbs and soaked fabric being thrown across the room, Catra straddled Adora’s hips as Adora’s legs wrapped around her in response. Adora took the lead, hands working down Catra’s torso as she held onto Catra’s lips, eventually teasing Catra with her fingers as she slowly worked her way inside her.

“Ahhh.” Catra’s moan was sing-song, a perfect pitch that plucked Adora’s heartstrings. She held her own a lot better than Adora did, managing to form broken words between gasps for air. “Y’know...I’ve...been...waiting...for you...to do this...for...so...loooooong.” Her last word was drawn out as Adora played with her, enjoying the feeling of being in control but missing the sensation of her partner being inside of her.

Adora reached for Catra’s grasping hand next to her, guiding it towards the _heat_ that she felt inside. The message must have gotten across as Catra synced her fingers with Adora’s, two arms between their bodies that twisted against each other, fire building onto flame.

Their heads twisted in pleasure, breath coming heavy for both of them as it mixed in the humid vacuum between their open lips, puffy with use. It came faster and faster, mixing with moan after moan as Adora opened herself without any restraint.

“ _Catra._ ”

“ _Adora._ ”

“ _Catraaa._ ”

“ _Yess?_ ”

Catra removed her hand, feeling the pressure build inside of Adora. She grabbed Adora’s wrist, letting her hips sink down and meet pink in the darkness, feeling Adora’s clit on hers. The sensation was indulgent, but the few molecules of air between them were still _too much_ , they needed to be closer.

Adora started to shift her hips, rubbing against Catra and indulging in the feeling of friction as she took Catra’s hand and moved the fingers into her mouth, wrapping her tongue around them and lapping up her taste as Catra looked on with her mouth hung open in pleasure at the feeling.

“ _Please, Adora._ ”

“ _Mmmm._ ”

“ _Don’t...stop._ ”

“ _Please._ ”

“ _I’m-_ ”

“ _Catra…_ ”

“ _...Adora._

“ _I’m gonna-_ ”

“ _Please._ ”

“ _Fuck._ ”

“ _Ahh!_ ”

“ _Catraaa!_ ”


	19. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora push forward in their relationship, and prepare for the struggles that still lay ahead for them.

The contrasting sweetness of vanilla and the bitterness of coffee roused Catra from her dream. Bleary eyes still adjusting, she glanced around the room she was in. To her left was a simple wooden nightstand, her phone plugged in and resting on top with an almost full glass of water beside it. Across from her and catty-cornered from the cracked door, a small desk with a few dirty novelty mugs and a laptop covered in stickers rested in the blazing orange of the sunrise that peeked through the blinds.

Catra’s throat ached with dryness, and as she unfolded one arm to reach for the water, the cold air of the now familiar bedroom made goosebumps scatter across her brown skin. Wishing to stay under the warm comforter as long as possible, she barely lifted her head to drain the glass without spilling it and tasted last night still on her tongue.

The memory made her turn the other way, searching for the warmth of her partner, but all that lay there was a depression in Adora’s shape, the outline cold against her fingertips.

A spike of adrenaline rushed into Catra’s veins at the vacuum next to her, at the fear of being left behind. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of being thrown away like a used napkin. The fear of history repeating itself.

In a disgusted response to her spiral, a crash, immediately followed by a panicked but hushed “ _Shit!_ ” came through the crack in the door. Catra’s heart leapt out of her chest as she let her body take over her mind, bolting out from underneath the blanket and shoving the door to the side to look into the kitchen.

“Adora?!”

The room opened up in front of her, warm beams of the morning sun dancing over the kitchen counter and reflecting off of loose, golden hair that whipped around at the sound of her name. Catra’s chest depressurized as she saw the woman that she was so afraid had left. In running shorts and a tank top, Adora was frozen above broken pieces of ceramic and coffee that spilled across the previously spotless tile floor. Blue eyes looked up from the mess in shock, then widened as a blush spread across Adora’s face.

Adora stuttered as she spoke, “Oh! Hi, um. Catra! I was uh...I was gonna bring you some coffee.” With every word, the pink that coated her face grew deeper and deeper until she spat out the frog in her throat. “You’re uh...you’re not wearing any clothes.”

A draft sent goosebumps up along Catra’s chest in response as she realized that she’d slept naked...again. Two weeks ago, this would’ve been a disaster, the world imploding right in Catra’s face. But now, she was comfortable in her skin underneath Adora’s red-faced stare. In fact, she liked it _a lot_.

Taking advantage of the moment, Catra strode across the tile, gracefully avoiding broken pieces of mug and bittersweet coffee. Her hips swayed in motion with her steps, keeping her eyes on Adora’s as she watched her struggle to keep her gaze from exploring below Catra’s collarbone.

Her voice was silken, gliding through the air on strands of silver thread until they met Adora’s ears, “What? It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.” Catra purred as she walked, eventually breaching the vacuum in front of where Adora held her breath in anticipation.

In one swift movement, Catra stood on her toes, pressing her lips to the corner of her partner’s mouth. Her lips grazed Adora’s with the slightest heat as she felt the woman’s shock turn into a smile. Just as Adora had gathered herself and started to reach for her hips, Catra spun away from her.

Adora’s pout was utterly _adorable_. “Hey! No fair!”

Catra squeaked in laughter as she hopped back over the mess that decorated Adora’s kitchen, landing on her toes on the side opposite Adora before looking back at her in satisfaction. “Mmm. Maybe we can talk about what’s fair when you stop leaving me in bed alone.” She leaned her shoulder against the doorframe of the bedroom with a grin. “I guess you should probably get started on some more coffee if you wanna make it up to me.”

Less than 10 minutes later, Adora found Catra hunched over her laptop in the corner of the bed, this time half-dressed and wearing Adora’s old jersey that she might as well have stolen at this point. When Adora stepped into the room with both hands full, she half-closed the computer and perked up at the sight of non-spilled coffee.

Adora met her at the bed, heaving one leg onto it and handing a mug to Catra as she spoke. “You never work this early.”

Accepting the cup with two hands, Catra eagerly started to sip it down before responding half-jokingly, “Yeah, well a certain someone’s turning me into a morning person against my will.”

Adora didn’t accept the diversion, pushing further with just her eyes until Catra gave in.

“Okay, okay. I was _trying_ to finish my abstract.”

Adora felt her muscles tense at the mention of the subject. Catra had been running experiments in Angella’s lab at Bright Moon for two weeks now, among doing… _other_ things too. After that first crashed run, things had been pretty smooth sailing as far as results went. But the topic of completing abstracts always brought with it the subject of Catra going back to Fright Zone University, even if it wasn’t explicitly mentioned. The fear was there, and that alone was enough for both of them to not enjoy talking about it.

But, she could do it. For Catra’s sake.

“How’s it going so far?”

Catra moved her coffee to cradle it in between her legs before reopening her laptop. She turned it to show Adora her Google Doc, two pages long with a couple figures of data spread throughout. By all of Adora’s standards, it looked complete.

Wordlessly, Catra explained by zooming in on the heading of the abstract.

Oooooh. Right.

It was a question that she’d been unable to answer in the weeks leading up to today, and now that the due date for abstracts was finally here, Catra still wasn’t sure what to do. 

On the document, the heading read:

“Implications of Water on the Evolution of the Lunar Magma Ocean: An Experimental Investigation.”

Authors: Catra Carrero, Adora Sheradon, Angella Queen, and Shadow Weaver(?).

Adora looked up from the screen to see blue and yellow eyes staring back at her, waiting expectantly. “Well? What do you think?”

Adora shifted uncomfortably, transferring her weight from the foot on the floor to the bed, then back again. She knew what she’d been wanting to say ever since she’d found out about Catra’s troubles in her PhD program, that Dr. Weaver can fuck off since all she did was sit back and watch Catra struggle. But...she understood Catra’s indecision. If she didn’t label Dr. Weaver as a coauthor, she’d be signing her own death certificate back at Fright Zone. It was a hard choice to make, but Adora had held back on voicing her own opinions this long and she’d be damned if she was going to let Catra keep suffering under Dr. Weaver’s egotistical power trip without saying anything.

“I think...screw Dr. Weaver.” She tried to stay composed, for Catra’s sake, but the shake in her voice betrayed her.

Catra responded with an eyebrow raised in amusement, savoring the decadent taste of rebellion from someone who she’d known to be the biggest goody two-shoes she’d ever met. “Go on.”

Emboldened, Adora went all or nothing. “Don’t let her be a coauthor! What has she done to help you on this project, let alone as a student?” She threw her hands into the air, caught up in the momentum of her own rant. “For God’s sake, you had to go to another university to even get any work done! If she deserves to be a coauthor based on the less than bare minimum support she’s given you, then the entire Bright Moon Department of Earth and Planetary Sciences should be a coauthor! Fucking _Micah_ would be a coauthor and he’s not even in the department!”

Lounging against the pillows of the bed, Catra watched Adora stampede through some emotions she’d clearly been holding in for a while, for whatever reason. But more than that, listening to Adora in passion-filled moments like these reminded Catra of one of many reasons why she was here, why she was doing what she was, and why she hadn’t left yet. The still novel feeling of someone caring about her reared its head, and the frustrated, frantic gestures of Adora’s rambling suddenly started to look more like the strong, protective walls of a home. Adding to the warm comfort, the realization that Adora was right, that this entire department cared about her was still unfamiliar. It felt like the stinging sensation of putting her hands in front of a fire after months of being in the freezing cold. Uncomfortable, but relieving in its own way.

Catra downed the rest of her coffee as she listened to Adora finish. “And besides, when you transfer, you won’t have to worry about her punishing you.”

“Well, I have to get in first.”

Then, Adora’s face twisted from annoyance to confusion. Catra may as well have been speaking a different language.

The confounded face, brows furrowed and pink lips slightly parted, persisted as Adora spoke back to her. “What are you talking about?”

Oh boy, here we go. “Adora, just because Angella wrote me a recommendation letter doesn’t mean I’ll get in.”

Her face relaxed a bit, but determination replaced the confusion on Adora’s face. “Okay, but you’re an amazing candidate without her recommendation too.” She brought a closed fist up, raising a finger after each point. “You’re a persistent worker, you learn from your mistakes, you’re a quick learner, you’re ambitious, you’re good at solving problems, you’re curious, you-

“Okay I get it!” Adora was already on her second hand and showed no sign of stopping when Catra interrupted her, trying desperately to keep the warmth in her chest from spreading to her face.

For a minute, they were silent. Comfort rested in the air between them, and Adora looked at her with _that_ smile. The smile that held gentleness, love, compassion, and everything that Catra thought was wonderful in the world, all condensed into one curve of Adora’s lips and the softening of her eyes. It ended too soon when Catra saw something eating away at Adora’s good mood.

She reached one hand out, gently resting it on the woman’s thigh. “What’s up?”

Something was caught in Adora’s throat as she tried to cough it up. She moved her eyes away from Catra and to the wall as she spoke, voice pleading beneath her words. “I just...the spring semester is starting soon.” Catra gently nodded. “And...Fright Zone is an hour and a half away.”

Catra knew where this was headed, but she wanted to drag it out of Adora. She already had enough trouble saying what she wanted, so why not give her a little encouragement? “Uh huh.”

“Well, I was wondering, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, obviously. I don’t want to add any pressure to you, I just...

...I want you to stay.”

Catra knew she was going to ask this, she was Adora after all. Tenderhearted was practically her middle name. Which is why Catra had already made her decision a week before.

As nonchalantly as possible, Catra responded with utter glee hidden inside. “Okay.”

Adora seemed taken aback. “Okay?”

Again, “Okay.”

“I-What does that mean?”

Catra lobbed a punch into Adora’s arm as she broke her facade, laughing at her partner. “Of course I’m gonna stay! You really think I’d go back to that dump after seeing how good you have it here? Psh, good luck trying to make me.”

“Wha-Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because, dummy. You need to learn how to ask for things! I wasn’t gonna leave if you didn’t ask, but I _was_ gonna wait ‘til the last minute.”

Adora’s smile returned, and with it a sense of lighthearted relief. “I hate you so much.”

“Riiiight. Sure you do.”

But leaving Fright Zone brought with it its own pains. Catra had made friends there during her tenure. Scorpia, Entrapta, Lonnie, even Kyle and Rogelio held a place in her stitched up heart, as much as Catra wanted to deny it. Leaving them there to fend for themselves felt like a betrayal, and she had to face them eventually. She couldn’t run away with just a note in her wake...not again. They all deserved better than that.

* * *

Adora watched the trees pass by her, one after another in rapid succession, evergreens mixed in with trees that’d turned bare months ago. The sun was out today, still rising in the sky and breaking apart the clouds that shadowed the highway in front of them. The clean snow had begun turning to dark slush that lined the roads and formed mounds along the sidewalks and ditches.

The eye of a storm was centered above the two of them, an eerie calm bounded by the fear and anger that lay behind them and the impending storm just ahead. These two weeks had been heaven. It was almost too good to be true. And now, Catra’s beat up sedan barreled towards Fright Zone as their winter break was quickly coming to a close.

Yet, for all that was coming their way, Adora felt free. More free than she thought she could ever feel. It wasn’t the comfort of having someone wake up next to you in bed, or the passion that fueled them almost every night. It was the security that made her feel free. Secure in herself, in her feelings, in her wants and needs. And when Adora felt secure, the pain that’d tightly wound itself around her arteries began to loosen, pried back by Catra’s encouragement and gestures that didn’t go unnoticed. Even now, speeding down the asphalt towards pain and discomfort, Adora felt brave. As long as she could have Catra’s fingers to wrap her own around.

“You know, this is the first time I’ve been in this car since we left for field camp.” Adora could _feel_ Catra’s shoulders tense at the memory, and she felt a little guilty for bringing it up, but there wasn’t any sadness in it.

Catra’s eyes flicked towards her then back to the road, one hand reaching for Adora’s on the console as their fingers tangled like strawberry vines in summer.

“I’m sorry I did that. Left, I mean.” Her gravelly voice held shame in it without a hint of humor, and Adora wanted Catra to join her in her feelings.

Adora reluctantly freed her fingers before closing them into a fist and sending a jab into Catra’s shoulder. “I told you to stop apologizing for that!”

Catra responded with a laugh that was music to Adora’s ears, all squeaks and giggles before Adora carried on. “You know, if you’re gonna be living with me now, maybe you could finally teach me how to drive this thing.”

“You _still_ don’t know how to drive?”

“Well, I’ve been waiting for you to teach me for five years now! I’m not letting you off that easy!” The car coasted towards the exit ramp as she finished, and Adora caught glimpses of the Fright Zone skyline. It was dotted with billowing smokestacks, sticking high above a strikingly gray city as the last tree in sight passed by them.

Melancholia filled Adora lungs as the first houses came into view. All the same structure and dull gray color, they blended together in a brutal landscape that made Adora want to carry Catra all the way back home to Bright Moon.

A heavier atmosphere settled into the car as Adora cleared her throat to try and keep from being sucked up into it. “Ahem. So...I feel like we should talk about this spring and summer. If worse comes to worse, what do you think you’re gonna do? Like, economically.”

Catra didn’t turn as she spoke, deadpan, “You mean, what am I gonna do for money?”

Silence.

“I guess I’ll get a job somewhere. I don’t know.” Catra shrugged. “You think Angella will hire me as a lab tech?”

Adora’s eyes widened. She hadn’t really thought of that. “I mean...maybe? If she has the money, I bet she would.”

Another turn onto a sleepier street.

Catra scoffed. “Isn’t she a big deal? And you’re her only student, right? I’m sure she’s got enough grant money to at least hire someone part time.”

Adora’s eyes were trained on the tall building faces that washed by, one after the other without any discernible features as a question started to form in her mind. “Yeah...I didn’t realize that Fright Zone was so…”

“Gray?”

“Yeah. You read my mind.”

A left turn at a stop sign.

Thoughts of Catra being alone in this colorless city as Adora moved away to the oceanside gnawed at her insides, the pain taking residence in the center of her chest.

Heavy, Catra’s voice was final. “I know.”

The sedan came to a stop on the curb of a building as nondescript as the last hundred they’d passed. Adora stepped out first, meeting surprised eyes above the roof of the car as her partner exited too.

Catra sounded startled as she walked around the car with keys in hand, rock hammer dangling in the air. “You’re coming?”

“Psh. Of course I’m coming.” She reached for her hand again, wrapping hers around it as she pulled Catra to the front door using brute strength. “You really think I’d come all this way just to let you do this alone?”

The faintest hint of red started to dot Catra’s cheeks as she unlocked the entrance. “I didn’t want to get my hopes up for nothing.” She pressed the button to bring the elevator down to the ground floor.

Adora brushed her thumb across Catra’s, savoring the feeling of soft skin against her own. “Everything together, okay? Neither of us have to do anything alone.”

Never again.

A faint smile to match her blush spread across Catra’s face as the elevator doors opened, followed by Catra pulling Adora in. Adora felt the collar of her shirt be yanked forward, lips meeting hers before she realized what was happening. Her instincts kicked in as she lifted Catra up off the ground, cradling her legs in both arms as they wrapped around her waist and a familiar warmth began to spread through her thighs.

Catra released her, moving her lips to Adora’s neck as the feeling of sharp canines pulled her attention away from the cold metal that pressed against her back. Adora couldn’t help but let out a soft moan at the bite, shifting Catra’s weight onto one flexed arm as the other snaked its way up Catra’s back and began to wander.

As soon as Adora felt sharp claws digging under her waistband, a _ding_ , followed by the sound of the elevator doors sliding open and a heavy box thudding against the floor made her reluctantly look towards the hallway, Catra’s eyes following.

Standing there, ripe tomatoes for faces, stood Scorpia and Perfuma.

Perfuma cleared her throat, a bead of sweat forming on her brow.

Adora dropped Catra like a hot potato, lucky that Catra had reflexes like a cat as she landed on her feet. “Oh! Perfuma! Scorpia! Um. Wh-what are you guys doing here?” Adora ran her hands over her shirt, flattening the wrinkles as her insides turned to solid ice.

Innocent as ever, Scorpia didn’t even acknowledge the situation as she stepped over the cardboard box she dropped onto the floor, reaching for Catra and picking her up off the floor and into her arms. “Catra! It’s been so long! How’ve you been?!”

Perfuma stayed outside the elevator, but the tension in Adora’s shoulders died back a bit at the gesture, thank God.

Catra’s voice was choked as she tried to break out of the iron prison of Scorpia’s infamous hugs. “Ah! Put me down! Scorpia—it’s only been two weeks!”

Scorpia stopped cradling Catra, but still held her at least a foot off the ground. “Two weeks is _way_ too long Wildcat. And besides, how come Adora gets to hold you but I can’t?”

Aaaand the tension’s back.

Trying to escape the embarrassment of your colleagues seeing you make out with your girlfriend in a dingy elevator, Adora attempted to change the subject, stepping out of the steel trap and into the hallway to meet Perfuma as she did. “So! What are you doing here Perfuma? I thought you were in Bright Moon?”

“Actually, I think Scorpia should address that question, it’s not really my place. Scorpia?” At the sound of her name, Scorpia set Catra down, looking over towards her partner.

“Oh! Right! I’ve been wanting to talk to you Catra, but you haven’t been here, and I didn’t wanna talk about it on the phone, so I’ve just been waiting, but it’s been a while, so I was gonna surprise you!”

Catra spoke up, hair flat against her head where Scorpia held her against her chest. “Spit it out.”

Then, Adora began to recognize the boxes, then Perfuma’s reason for being here, plus the fact that they’d been together even longer than her and Catra.

Scorpia’s arms shot into the air, almost punching a hole in the ceiling as she did. “I’m moving to Bright Moon!”

A few confused questions later, Adora and Catra found themselves sitting on the other side of Perfuma and Scorpia in a living room three-quarters of which was in cardboard boxes.

Adora could feel the relief emanating from Catra as she listened to the conversation. She knew that Catra cared about her friends here, that’s why they were here after all, but she’d never seen it in its natural habitat. Every day, Adora learned something new about Catra. Even just in the few months they’d been apart, Catra had changed in ways that Adora never expected. She cared about the people here, and not for any reason other than that they were her friends. And in all the time Adora had known Catra, she hadn’t been that way about anyone other than her. It was sweet, adorable really, and Adora made a mental note to call Catra out on it later.

All smiles, Catra was in disbelief. “Wait, so you’re really transferring too?”

Scorpia nodded furiously. “Yep! I got an unofficial acceptance from a professor at Bright Moon and I’m moving in with Perfuma! I’ve got enough money saved up to wait until summer to get a job too, so I can enjoy a few free months! I would’ve told you sooner, but you’ve been gone for a while and I didn’t wanna text it to you or something. I figured you two were pretty busy!”

Adora’s eyes widened in knowing unison with Catra’s, Scorpia seemingly as innocent as possible. Adora spoke up first. “Right! The uh...the experiments. Right. Yeah. Pretty busy back at the lab!”

Perfuma leaned in from her seat beside the white-haired woman. “Oh yeah! Catra, if you don’t mind me asking, how is your project going? I heard you were going to submit to LPSC! It’s okay if it’s not going well though. We’re your friends, you don’t need to hide your frustrations here.”

Catra sent a skeptical glance to Adora, holding a conversation without any words as Adora comforted her in another stretch of uncharted territory.

Perfuma kept going, “You know, Adora had trouble opening up when we first met. This is a judgement free zone, Catra.”

Swallowing a knot in her throat, Catra forced dug her nails into Adora’s palm as she struggled to reveal herself a little to someone so new. “It’s been...good. Hard, at first. But good now. I submitted our LPSC abstract today, so that’s something.”

Perfuma seemed satisfied with that as she leaned back against the couch. “I’m happy for you Catra. For both of you, really. You deserve this, and you deserve all the good that comes your way.”

The thought of LPSC brought light into Catra’s heart, lifting her higher and higher until she was breathless. It’d be the first step of escaping Dr. Weaver’s ire, and she’d get to do it with Adora at her back. As much as it felt good to be surrounded by friends, spending a week in a new city with your new girlfriend on the department’s money sounded much, _much_ better. All she had to do was make it until then, and pray to whatever god there was out there that they’d accept her for fall admission. That’s what this all weighed on, really. If they didn’t, there’s no way they’d take Catra back at Bright Moon, not after pulling a stunt like leaving your advisor off your abstract. And if she wanted to keep going to grad school, she’d have to find somewhere that _did_ accept her, and that’d probably be hours away.

Yeah, that wasn’t an option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I've been wanting to post this for a long time, but I wanted it to have more substance. This chapter is more of a transitional chapter though, so expect a bit more plot in the next chapter! 
> 
> Also I've been alternating releasing chapters for this fic and my Catradora Volleyball AU, so check it out if you like this one!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter! @billyspilgrimag


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